# Lounge > General >  School me on being a Dad

## Skrilla

So...my wife and I are expecting our first youngster in December. Neither of us had intentions of having kids before, but things changed and we have been trying. I'm just looking to see what tips are out there. What are things I should be getting together? May sound silly but I have literally no idea what to do/expect, just looking for advice haha  :Clap:

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## spikerS

My advice, and it sounds so cliche, but savour every second. They DO grow up so fast, and man, I miss the early days a lot. Now that my kids are 11 and 15, I find myself longing for when they were 2 or 3. I miss it a lot. No, I am not having any more lol

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## rage2

Make sure you sleep train him/her early. That means vacuuming and construction outside their room, and stomping your feet as you walk by while he/she is sleeping.

On a serious note, do as much as you can for your wife, especially in the first few months. She's gonna be sleep deprived, exhausted, and cranky. The shit you like to do on your own, grab the kid and do it with them if possible to give mom a break. It'll be relatively easy for you, as the first few months all that baby will do is sleep. I'd watch F1 early in the morning with the baby sleeping on me.

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## nissanK

> Make sure you sleep train him/her early. That means vacuuming and construction outside their room, and stomping your feet as you walk by while he/she is sleeping.



THIS. HOLY SHIT THIS.

We did exactly what rage mentioned with both our boys (5 and 3 now) and they can sleep everywhere. I would add to implement a schedule as soon as possible with the little minon (obviously this will not apply the first 6-10 months)

Biggest tip I can suggest is talk with your wife to make sure you are both on the same page regarding certain areas (Discpline, roles/responsibilities etc...) It makes it 10x harder when both parents have differing opinions of how to address something.

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## bjstare

Yeah the first bit is gonna be pretty easy, just make sure you help your wife however you can. I think the "savour every moment" advice is totally valuable, but only after~10 months haha. The first bit wasn't that engaging for me, but once things start to happen (i.e. kid starts to develop personality and move around etc etc), they happen very quickly.

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## Tik-Tok

Rule #1 about kids: No two kids are alike, take every piece of advice with a grain of salt. What worked for 99% of your friends, may not work for you.

An example is that there was no sleep training our daughter. We tried everything. Nothing worked and she woke up with night terrors every single fucking night for over two years. It sucked.

Rage was spot on with the wife advice though. Do everything possible to help. Try not to keep a grasp of your pre-kid life until after the first year.

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## killramos

Make sure you don’t let them drink pop

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## Disoblige

Helping the wife as much as possible seems to be prime advice here. I know I will follow that as much as possible. Happy wife, happy life seems to be applicable to married life, but moreso married with a kid, lol.

I know a wife who said they don't want another kid with the husband because he was utterly useless and it was beyond stressful for her that she lacked that support. Yikes, I wouldn't want to be that guy...

I also seen enough bickering couples with newborns that it looks like things would have gone way better if they supported one another more.




> Make sure you don’t let them drink pop



These days, lots of non-sugary alternatives like Bubly, Canada Dry, etc. Is this still applicable anymore?
I thought not letting your kids drink pop just meant you can save $7.2 million by 65.

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## ExtraSlow

Good advice above. I say 1) don't worry about the "stuff" that you need for a kid, and expend your energy on being physically and mentally present for the kid and especially for the wife during the first year. The emotional/physical and hormonal toll that pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding takes on the mother is massive. I mean, it's not easy for the dad, but it's MUCH harder on the mom, and your main job, especially early, is to support your wife. 

Related to that, watch your wife for signs of postpartum depression, and if you think it could be an issue, look for help. There are many organizations that support families who are struggling with PPD, and requesting that assistance is a sign of strength, not weakness. 

In the end, like said above, kids are individuals, and what worked for your parents, or your friends, may not work for you. You have to be true to your own tendencies and values when parenting, because trying to follow some pathway because you "heard it works" is doomed to failure if it's doesn't align with your own tendencies. 

Parenting really does change people, and often for the better because parents are forced to practice empathy. 

And my favourite one-line parenting advice: "your job is not to entertain or please your child, it's to give that child a safe space to learn how to entertain or please themselves." 

Good luck and enjoy it as best you can.

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## nissanK

> Related to that, watch your wife for signs of postpartum depression, and if you think it could be an issue, look for help. There are many organizations that support families who are struggling with PPD, and requesting that assistance is a sign of strength, not weakness. 
> 
> And my favourite one-line parenting advice: "your job is not to entertain or please your child, it's to give that child a safe space to learn how to entertain or please themselves." 
> 
> Good luck and enjoy it as best you can.



Both these points are valuable. 

I suck at reading my wife's mood when she was struggling with Post-partum so we did a number system. She would give me a rank 1-10 (10 being the worst) each day so I would understand her mindset and kick up the help a notch or 2.

And to ExtraSlow's one-liner, LET THEM BE BORED and figure things out themselves once and awhile.

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## ExtraSlow

Yeah, if your kids thinks your primary role is entertaining them, then that's going to be their expectation forever, and they will not respect you for anything else. I know a dad who has this relationship with his daughter. She truly has no idea why she'd need to respect or listen to her dad for any serious topic. It's awful and bizarre. Of course, helps that I'm a grumpy cat by nature anyway, so I'm not fun to play with most days.

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## dirtsniffer

get sleep now while you can.

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## nzwasp

> Yeah, if your kids thinks your primary role is entertaining them, then that's going to be their expectation forever, and they will not respect you for anything else. I know a dad who has this relationship with his daughter. She truly has no idea why she'd need to respect or listen to her dad for any serious topic. It's awful and bizarre. Of course, helps that I'm a grumpy cat by nature anyway, so I'm not fun to play with most days.



Also if you only have one kid then they (in the early years) will want you to play with them. So glad we have two kids, I have a buddy that when he brings his kid around the kid only wanted to play with the dad, it took him a long time to get used to the idea that he could play with other kids. I have two girls 2 years apart and they play with each other all the time.

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## tirebob

Be their parent first and foremost instead of trying to be their best friend. Kids are going to hate your ass at many points along the way, but they will give you no respect long term if you let your worries of them liking you dictate decisions before you worry about what is right for them. So many things our kids hated us for growing up has now become the backbone of their strengths and ethics in the real world of adulting, and they now appreciate it and love us for it.

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## sabad66

If they suck their thumb, try and nip that in the bud early as it's a hard habit to break.

Change diapers as much as you can - the facetime you get with your kid adds up over time, and not to mention its something 'easy' you can do to help mom out. On the note about diapers, don't even entertain the though of re-usable diapers. Everyone i know (at least 3 couples i can think of) invested in them and ditched them quick. Just don't.

Postpartum depression is a real thing and affects more mothers than you might think. It can vary from nothing to extreme and not easy to deal with if it happens, but just know it's normal and do your best to support mom unconditionally.

Babycams are very useful. You don't even need a 'real' baby cam... $30 Wyze cams work just fine.

Babybjorn bouncer was probably one of the best things we bought for our kids. Kind of expensive but worth it.

I'm sure i'll think of more things but just wanted to mention those off the top of my head.

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## rage2

> THIS. HOLY SHIT THIS.
> 
> We did exactly what rage mentioned with both our boys (5 and 3 now) and they can sleep everywhere. I would add to implement a schedule as soon as possible with the little minon (obviously this will not apply the first 6-10 months)



I was being sarcastic. It's pretty much a copy pasta from 
@revelations
 haha. Sleep training does work to a degree, but it depends on the kid.

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## revelations

lol - my little guy would sleep (6 mo) with me outside while I was busy building and cutting the deck. Construction !!!! Sorry kid, but this is how it is.

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## nzwasp

> get sleep now while you can.



This is like telling people to have lots of sex before they get married

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## dirtsniffer

wish someone gave me that advice before my wedding day

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## JustinL

My little girl is 16 months now, so I still have lots to learn. So far I've found that we bought WAY too much stuff. You don't need everything at the beginning except diapers, a car seat, somewhere for the baby to sleep, and clothes. Buy the rest as you need it.

Sleep sacks were way easier for us than swaddling. Snaps are the devil, go with zippers. Get used clothes if possible because kids grow so fast that most clothing barely gets worn before they are into the next size. Don't worry about dirty diapers, something about your own kid's poop is way less gross than any other poop. You also get to warm up with breast milk poop which is even less gross. You'll be way more worried when they aren't pooping and getting diapers dirty.

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## Skrilla

Great info guys thanks. Super stoked, and nervous. Is the Beyonder who does baby stuff still in business?

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## dirtsniffer

@cycosis
 was involved with casz kidz but I think the store closed

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## Mitsu3000gt

Everyone else already mentioned sleep training, but DO NOT let them sleep in your bed. I have seen that turn into a multi-month/year nightmare for more than one family. Everyone is different but I have only ever seen this end very badly.

Also, I have seen so many people pour so much money into stuff that gets used once, never, or is outgrown in a month. Consider how long it will be used before you buy anything - chances are you can make do with something dramatically cheaper, or used, for most things. I can't even count how many times I've seen kids ignore the fancy expensive toys and go for the bubble wrap/crinkly paper or whatever. The most used gift I have ever bought a kid was a set of plastic cups to play with in the bath tub.

Other than that, enjoy having zero disposable income  :ROFL!:  Seriously though, congrats on the new addition  :thumbs up:

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## Doozer

> Great info guys thanks. Super stoked, and nervous. Is the Beyonder who does baby stuff still in business?



I'm sure you'll do awesome. Being excited about it is half the battle.

One thing I've seen no one mention for the first kid is not to think the sky is falling every time they cry. You'll start to pick out the different cries - hungry, poopy, tired, whatever. But sometimes they just need to cry. Especially if you or the wife don't think you can handle it or figure it out, and you're freaking out, just put them safe in their crib and take 15 minutes to yourself while they cry it out. Don't try to power through some tantrum at the end of a busy work day when there's no supper and the house is a mess and they just won't stop crying. Take 15 and you'll all be better off for it.

PS - I'm all for the baby monitors, but skip the camera part. Not only are there security issues, but it made some friends of mine freaky about always watching their kids. If they couldn't see them, they'd literally get anxiety. Don't even go down that road. Get an audio monitor and don't worry about it.

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## rage2

> PS - I'm all for the baby monitors, but skip the camera part. Not only are there security issues, but it made some friends of mine freaky about always watching their kids. If they couldn't see them, they'd literally get anxiety. Don't even go down that road. Get an audio monitor and don't worry about it.



Just have good self control. Like you said it’s good to let them cry it out once in a while, a quick check on camera to make sure it’s nothing is better than going in to check every time. They gotta learn crying doesn’t mean instant attention.

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## dirtsniffer

We decided on a video monitor, but not one you can view remotely so we couldn't spy on one another and to more enjoy the time apart. 

Agree 100% on not buying a ton of fancy shit, but we probably all thought that going into having kids as well, and guess how that turned out.

Pre and post natal classes are great. The info is decent, but the support network is great. Having 10-12 new moms connect and lean on each other for support and questions was really valuable. Made some long term friends in ours and a bunch of moms still chat via whatsap

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## you&me

> We decided on a video monitor, but not one you can view remotely so we couldn't spy on one another and to more enjoy the time apart. 
> 
> Agree 100% on not buying a ton of fancy shit, but we probably all thought that going into having kids as well, and guess how that turned out.
> 
> Pre and post natal classes are great. The info is decent, but the support network is great. Having 10-12 new moms connect and lean on each other for support and questions was really valuable. Made some long term friends in ours and a bunch of moms still chat via whatsap



That's a great point about the pre-natal classes. The initial support is priceless, especially for the new moms to lean on each other. 8 years on, we're still friends with some of the parents from our group and the kids still do some activities together. 

I'd suggest that there's a difference between "fancy" baby stuff and "high quality" baby stuff... The fancy stuff is stupid, but the high quality stuff a) last longer and b) can have a shockingly high resale value, which really helps off set the cost if you can swallow the initial purchase price.

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## ExtraSlow

If Ikea sells it, use that. Cribs, bedding, toys, dinnerware, decor etc. If you spend more than Ikea you are a sucker.

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## Toilet_X

Make sure you take the soother away by age 9, or the poor kid will end up like me with a SEVERE oral fixation. Congrats fella!

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## RX_EVOLV

Here's what I learned since being a dad 16 months ago:

1) Sleep train them as soon as you can. Once you start sleeping through the night everything else just becomes easier 

2) Don't buy too much cloths or toys in the first 12 months - they outgrow them so fast. Only buy what you need, not what you think you need. For example, get a swing only if you have a tough time getting the sleep to nap. Buy a jacket only if the weather is cold. Don't buy ahead. Borrow what you can. 

3) Alot of the products IMO are designed to make the parent's life easier, not baby's.. so don't be afraid to spurge on them. The $200 Baby Brezza Formula Pro was probably the single best purchase we made. We can't recommend it enough. The $150 Snuggle Me was another purchase we splurged on. 

4) If your wife is planning to breast feed, consider renting the commercial grade pump from Shoppers (I think ~$100/month) vs buying a home use one unless you need the portability. It is SO much more powerful, even compared to the most expensive home use ones. 

5) We got the Arlo Baby camera and couldn't be happier. The portability of being able to stream off our ipad or phone alone was worth the price tag. Having a camera is so nice since we can just check and see if the baby making noises in her sleep vs full out sitting up crying. If it's the former we just let her cry it out. 

6) Alot of people buy the Diaper Genie, but we ended up getting the Ubbi so we can use our own odor blocking bag and that worked out great.

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## abyss

I'll give the advice my friend gave me as a high school teacher.

"I have no idea which kids in my class were breastfed or bottle fed, or which ones had the best toys. But I can tell which ones are loved, read to and have the support of caring parents. And I promise, by the time they get to me, they ALL use the potty independently and none of them co-sleep with their parents."

Honestly, it's about the big picture. You're going to make mistakes, but remember that there are incredibly shitty parents out there who manage to still raise functioning members of society, just do the best you can and when you know better, do better.

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## D'z Nutz

> Make sure you don’t let them drink pop



Best advice if you want to raise an 89snowflake  :ROFL!:

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## gwill

I've got a teenager and then had a baby last year that just turned one. Got another one due in a couple weeks. One thing I'm thankful for is having a wife that I completely trust.

Biggest thing we focus on is always listening to and then responding to the baby as they try to communicate. Early on its eye movements. Turns to grunts or little cries. As the baby tries to touch things we encouraged that and helped her explore. One of her favorite things right now is reading her books. The toys get played with but her books are her favorite.

I've noticed how much I love looking through the photos of our baby from when she was born or from the first few months. In 12 months theres such drastic changes. Find a way to capture these moments in an easy way to look back on.

I agree with others when they said dont buy too much for when their little. We gave away a lot of needless clothes or clothes that got out grown so quickly. Too many toys are pointless. 

Best investment for us at the earlier age was a good swing. When you need a quick break that was always used. We said we would never have the tv on but that changed as well HAH.

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## Kloubek

Firstly, congrats. Your life will never be the same - both in good and bad ways.  :Smilie: 

My best piece of advice: Relax. You don't know how to be parents yet, but how to do it is largely instinctive and common sense. You will learn. 

You will also make mistakes. Lots of them. But you will learn from them and take comfort in the fact that you have a 2-3 year learning buffer before their memories start forming. They will never know.

Kids watch EVERYTHING. Your actions, your words, your interactions. They will also mimic you. So always consider the example you are setting. Telling them not to do what you do doesn't work well. Fight with your wife out of earshot too. You are teaching your child how to handle disputes the whole time.

Kids will challenge you. All. The. Time. They test their limits and your patience. They go through phases quickly. They love you. They hate you. They want everything Dinosaur themed then a month later lose all interest. They will act happy one moment then grumpy as fuck the next. Prepare for a rollercoaster of a ride. Right now, my son is refusing to eat off white plates he believes he can only see hairs on black plates. Yes, he is paranoid of a tiny hair or fiber being on his plate. And we have a dog. You can imagine how much fun that has been. Last year his thing was always licking his hands. That was a joy.

Be open with your kids. Tell them you love them often and show it. Try not to lie. If they find out you lie to them, trust can be easily broken and it makes it acceptable for them to do the same. Ensure they are comfortable with speaking to you about anything at all.

Use positive reinforcement. Works for dogs and kids alike. They love for you to be proud of them.

Be reasonable with your expectations and if you don't want them doing something, explain why. They learn little from things simply being forbidden or "because I said so".

Resist urges to give in. Not only did you not have the original position for a reason, the more you give in the more they expect you to give in and will try harder next time.

I could go on for an hour so I will stop there.

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## benyl

> "I have no idea which kids in my class were breastfed or bottle fed, or which ones had the best toys. But I can tell which ones are loved, read to and have the support of caring parents. And I promise, by the time they get to me, they ALL use the potty independently and none of them co-sleep with their parents."



One thing I have learned is that kids will tell you when they are ready to do things. Getting them to do thing when you think they are ready just leads to issues. That being said, every kid is different.

I would also suggest listening to your kids when they babble. You would be surprised how much they can communicate very early. I've seen some parents just ignore their kids because it is "babble."

my 9 year old still needs someone to lay down with him to fall asleep. Judge me all you want, if it makes him happy, it makes me happy.

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## rage2

> my 9 year old still needs someone to lay down with him to fall asleep. Judge me all you want, if it makes him happy, it makes me happy.



I have a friend who has a daughter in her late teens that have to sleep with them every single night. I guess in 5 years I can say I'll have 2 friends with such an issue lol.




> Kids watch EVERYTHING. Your actions, your words, your interactions. They will also mimic you. So always consider the example you are setting. Telling them not to do what you do doesn't work well. Fight with your wife out of earshot too. You are teaching your child how to handle disputes the whole time.



Ever since COVID WFH my kids sound like a bunch of fucking youtubers. Hey guys! Bro!

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## Rocket1k78

> Sleep training does work to a degree, but it depends on the kid.



I was going to say its easier said then done haha I have multiple friends who tried this and most failed because they couldnt follow through. My cousin sleep trained both his kids and to this day he still feels like a monster for letting his kids cry it out like that lol If it does work though it is very nice to be able to sleep through the night.
The other problem with setting sleep routines is you have no flexibility, we went on a trip with a couple who had one and they literally had to be back to the hotel by 7 every night to get the kid in bed. 




> 4) If your wife is planning to breast feed, consider renting the commercial grade pump from Shoppers (I think ~$100/month) vs buying a home use one unless you need the portability. It is SO much more powerful, even compared to the most expensive home use ones.



This!

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## Doozer

> Ever since COVID WFH my kids sound like a bunch of fucking youtubers. Hey guys! Bro!



So much this. Drives me absolutely insane. The volume level is louder too. It's like they're yelling everything for an imaginary camera somewhere now.

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## nismodrifter

I am a new dad. Our boy was born about a week and a half before hospitals locked down. We went to the hospital with masks, hand sanitizer in our bags knowing that COVID was around the corner. It's been an interesting road since. Isolation, a new baby, and now working from home. Fun times. 

Here is what I've learned in the past 4 months:
1. Time flies by, enjoy each moment, cut back on work if you can, they grow quick.
2. You can waste a shit load of money on baby stuff. Get hand me down clothes if possible from friends/family. The clothes last like 1-2 months max and then you are on to the next size. 
3. Babybjorn bouncer
4. Keep your ego in check, shut up, help your wife, do whatever she says, smile. The number system (mentioned by nissanK) helps gauge how she is doing on any given day.
5. Take time for yourself. I go for a short walk at the end of each work day before going to help with baby. I also try and get a 1hr afternoon nap at least twice a week. With COVID + WFH, self care is important or you will go nuts.
6. Sleep now, watch movies now, order nice dinners now, tinker on your car now, work in the yard now. Very hard to do this stuff with new-born. Slowly gets better. 

Lastly. Enjoy and go with the flow. The baby will often tell you when they are ready for the next step.Turn off the phones, turn off the computers, stop reading internet, and just spend quality time with your kid.

 :Clap: 

We are beginning the final parts of our sleep training madness tomorrow, shutting the door and walking out for X minutes.  :Sleep ZzZZ:  Fingers crossed it goes well.

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## Darell_n

Of the 10 couples that were in our pre-natal class, we are still friends with most of them and the kids are now classmates and play with each regularly 6 years later. Most have 2nd kids by now too and it’s great having them close to the same age, especially if there are none if your extended family.

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## RX_EVOLV

> 6. Sleep now, watch movies now, order nice dinners now, tinker on your car now, work in the yard now. Very hard to do this stuff with new-born. Slowly gets better.



I found the opposite. New born is so much easier in the sense that they just eat, poop, and sleep 24/7, and it takes no time to make milk/formula or change a diaper so I found myself working on the yard or playing video games alot more than before while the baby sleeps, or even going out for lunch/dinner quite frequently because the baby can sleep anywhere in the car seat/ Bassinet. 

Now that our girl is eating solids (which means we need to spend time making 3 meals/day) and crawling everywhere ( aka requires constant supervision) and get bored so quickly (stuck watching baby shows on TV ) we have no time to do anything else. Things were so much easier a year ago when she was a new born lol.

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## schurchill39

If you're early enough in the pregnancy apply to get into midwifery care. I cannot stress how much this helped us with both of our kids. Having a trained professional who is invested in your pregnancy and sees you every step of the way was huge for us. We had our first kid with some complications at the hospital and the second at home. In both cases the midwife was the primary care provider and it helped my wife immensely knowing that the woman (or team of women) she saw the whole pregnancy was there for the delivery and then all the postpartum care. Its not just for the granola hippie dippy type, they are trained medical professionals who can prescribe medication and all the tests you need plus are regulated through AHS. Plus most mid wife centers facilitate groups for all the moms under their care due around the same time so they have a safe comfortable space to ask questions and talk. This and our pre natal glass were easily the two best things we did to set ourselves and our kids up for success, it helped with her anxiety and my need to be in control.

Like most have mentioned get used clothes. Friends with kids will be giving you boxes of them so wash and take what you need then when your kid outgrows them pass them on to someone else. Get a swing or a bouncer, they are life savers when you're trying to eat supper or get some chores done. Invest in a good quality car seat, they are expensive but they are also carrying your child. On that same thought get a good quality stroller. There are tons of good used ones out there so you don't need to spend new prices but you will be using it a ton so make sure you get one thats comfortable for you and the baby and can carry your shit.

Unlike the other beyonder who said don't use reusable cloth diapers I quite like them. Sure you end up doing laundry much more frequently but there are no blowouts and we aren't rushing out for diapers when we forget. YMMV but don't count it out just because someone said it was too hard, it really isn't. Both have great qualities - we cloth diaper at home and when we travel its back to disposables with a cloth diaper cover for ease of use. 

Discuss depression, anxiety and postpartum depression with your wife BEFORE you have the baby. Make sure it becomes an easy subject to talk about with both of you so that should it start to creep in once the baby is here there isn't any stigma surrounding it. If you aren't good at reading your wife implement the number system like what was suggested before, but at the very least make sure you are in touch with how she is doing. Ask her frequently and listen to what she says. Help where you can because "you have useless nipples" (as my wife likes to say) so put in the extra effort elsewhere like diaper changes, making meals, or hanging with baby so she can get 15 minutes of alone time. 

All you need for when baby is here is diapers, a car seat, a place for it to sleep, and a few sleepers. Everything else can come after. Make sure you at least have those items before and you're golden.

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## benyl

second getting a mid-wife.

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## rage2

> If you're early enough in the pregnancy apply to get into midwifery care. I cannot stress how much this helped us with both of our kids. Having a trained professional who is invested in your pregnancy and sees you every step of the way was huge for us. We had our first kid with some complications at the hospital and the second at home. In both cases the midwife was the primary care provider and it helped my wife immensely knowing that the woman (or team of women) she saw the whole pregnancy was there for the delivery and then all the postpartum care. Its not just for the granola hippie dippy type, they are trained medical professionals who can prescribe medication and all the tests you need plus are regulated through AHS. Plus most mid wife centers facilitate groups for all the moms under their care due around the same time so they have a safe comfortable space to ask questions and talk. This and our pre natal glass were easily the two best things we did to set ourselves and our kids up for success, it helped with her anxiety and my need to be in control.



Third. I'll call out 
@SQ2
 to post her thoughts on it. She's laying beside me reading my shit every night it's about time she contributes here more.

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## Disoblige

> If you're early enough in the pregnancy apply to get into midwifery care.



What is the typical cost for this though?

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## Tik-Tok

Third. Also don't be afraid to look into a planned home birth. It was awesome not having to drive to/from a hospital in the middle of a February cold snap.




> What is the typical cost for this though?



5 years ago it was covered under AB health. Don't know about now though.

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## loweg

> My advice, and it sounds so cliche, but savour every second. They DO grow up so fast, and man, I miss the early days a lot. Now that my kids are 11 and 15, I find myself longing for when they were 2 or 3. I miss it a lot. No, I am not having any more lol



This is probably the single greatest piece of advice in here... Everyone says it goes by so quickly. And even if you prepare yourself for that, it's still faster than you expect.

Also we used a doula for both our births and for the first one it was awesome she helped a ton, was in training so she couldn't charge much (it's based on experience). Think she was only able to charge 150.00 and it was a solid 20 hours ... Paid her her 150.00 and I think I got her a Chinook gift card as she had to have the 150.00 payment separate . 

Second one. Experienced doula that pretty much sat around as my wife knew what she was doing and what she wanted. Cost way more and was there for 5 hours. Couldn't use the first one as she was pumping out a baby at the same time .

Still for the first one I think it was worth it .

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## BavarianBeast

For the love of god dont snip the poor fella

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## rage2

> What is the typical cost for this though?



It's covered. Something like $100 out of pocket. You have an option of a home birth or hospital birth. Hospital typically keeps rooms free for midwives, and there's doctors and nurses available if anything goes south. If everything goes smooth, you do not see any doctors or nurses at all. You also get to go home right away. After the birth, we filled out the paperwork (30 mins) and left.

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## JustinL

> I found the opposite. New born is so much easier in the sense that they just eat, poop, and sleep 24/7, and it takes no time to make milk/formula or change a diaper so I found myself working on the yard or playing video games alot more than before while the baby sleeps, or even going out for lunch/dinner quite frequently because the baby can sleep anywhere in the car seat/ Bassinet. 
> 
> Now that our girl is eating solids (which means we need to spend time making 3 meals/day) and crawling everywhere ( aka requires constant supervision) and get bored so quickly (stuck watching baby shows on TV ) we have no time to do anything else. Things were so much easier a year ago when she was a new born lol.



Same! Our girls are similar age and it was way easier a year ago when she didn't move around as much. From 11 months to 16 months (now) it's just trying to keep her safe and not flipping off the couch or into the bath tub. We're also down to one nap, so the time to get actual stuff done is way shorter too. It's also way more fun because we can actually play together now, but exhausting.

----------


## Skrilla

Any recommendations on a good quality monitor/camera?

----------


## sabad66

> Any recommendations on a good quality monitor/camera?



Basic Wyze cam works just fine in our experience. Nightvision is decent enough for a $30 camera.

We had an older D-link babycam that had temperature and a few other gimmicky features, but we never used them so that's why i say the Wyze are just fine.

----------


## schurchill39

> It's covered. Something like $100 out of pocket. You have an option of a home birth or hospital birth. Hospital typically keeps rooms free for midwives, and there's doctors and nurses available if anything goes south. If everything goes smooth, you do not see any doctors or nurses at all. You also get to go home right away. After the birth, we filled out the paperwork (30 mins) and left.



They are completely covered. The only thing we paid for was a private room at the hospital for recovery, and a small gift after. Nothing is out of pocket except for any supplements she decides to take. A doula is what costs money and those are not the same as a midwife. A midwife is a primary care provider and a doula is just there to comfort and help out where she can. 




> Any recommendations on a good quality monitor/camera?



We went through a few with the first kid and honestly the best one we got was just a Wyze cam thanks to someone's advice on here. We have one in the nursery and another in my toddlers room. We just use an old phone for the monitor and it works great. Plus when I am working nights or away I can check in at bedtime or if we are in the back yard I just check in on my phone. We even bought a third one for traveling to the inlaws too. They are so cheap and such good quality you'd be silly to drop $250 on anything when you can get a 2 pack for $80.

----------


## schurchill39

> Third. Also don't be afraid to look into a planned home birth. It was awesome not having to drive to/from a hospital in the middle of a February cold snap.



Our second came so fast that I delivered her as the midwife just got to our house. They brought in their equipment, checked over mom and baby, did all the appropriate paperwork, cleaned up the bathroom and bed, then left us as a family. They were in and out before my toddler woke up.

Plus they do the first two weeks worth of follow ups at home so they come to you. It was amazing.

----------


## rage2

> Any recommendations on a good quality monitor/camera?



I had an old iPod and bought the baby cam app.

https://cloudbabymonitor.com

Went through 3 kids with that iPod haha.

----------


## Skrilla

> Our second came so fast that I delivered her as the midwife just got to our house. They brought in their equipment, checked over mom and baby, did all the appropriate paperwork, cleaned up the bathroom and bed, then left us as a family. They were in and out before my toddler woke up.
> 
> Plus they do the first two weeks worth of follow ups at home so they come to you. It was amazing.



You delivered??

----------


## schurchill39

> You delivered??



From the time her water broke to the time we were holding her was 16 minutes. All those years of fantasy football had me well prepared. I honed in on my inner Tom Brady so when the wife snapped it back to me instinct took over. The midwife showed up about 3 minutes after birth to pass me a Gatorade.

----------


## dirtsniffer

Hopefully you didn't try to deflate the ball.

Seriously though good job. I would have passed out.

----------


## Skrilla

> From the time her water broke to the time we were holding her was 16 minutes. All those years of fantasy football had me well prepared. I honed in on my inner Tom Brady so when the wife snapped it back to me instinct took over. The midwife showed up about 3 minutes after birth to pass me a Gatorade.



That's crazy stuff man! I too would have passed the fuck out

----------


## rage2

I never looked during delivery. I too would've passed out. Looked out the window, held her hand, till baby was fully out haha.

Glad to see I'm not the only weak sauce around here.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Yeah, we had midwife for both births, and ended up with both births at home. Was certainly better for us.

----------


## Skrilla

> I never looked during delivery. I too would've passed out. Looked out the window, held her hand, till baby was fully out haha.
> 
> Glad to see I'm not the only weak sauce around here.



Oh there is no way I'm peaking haha.

----------


## bjstare

> I never looked during delivery. I too would've passed out. Looked out the window, held her hand, till baby was fully out haha.
> 
> Glad to see I'm not the only weak sauce around here.



Preach. I had no interest in seeing that, none whatsoever.

----------


## schurchill39

It wasn't bad at all, I didn't think there was anything gross about it, it looks like a vagina only swollen and with a small human coming out of it. The gross part is the placenta but I had nothing to do with that as I was on skin-skin duty by then. Cutting the cord was just like cutting a rubber band too. All in all tt was an awesome experience and I wish I would have had the chance to deliver both kids but my first came out all cattywhompus so I was relegated to being the wide receiver on that one.

----------


## dirtsniffer

I watched our daughter being born, but the instant she was out I noped outta there. The amount of blood on the floor and on the dr was a good indication of what follows after.

----------


## RX_EVOLV

Watched the whole thing from the beginning to end. The Dr. even asked me to help so it was me and this other nurse hold my wife's legs up for the final hour of the delivery lol. It wasn't that bad at all and glad I was able to participate rather than just being an observer. The only really gross part was afterwards when the Dr. asked us if we want to see the bloody placenta, then proceed to stretch it out in front of us from the inside to illustrate how the baby was protected and moved around in there. That was gross lol. She also made a point that we can't keep it.... maybe because we are asian??

----------


## schurchill39

> Watched the whole thing from the beginning to end. The Dr. even asked me to help so it was me and this other nurse hold my wife's legs up for the final hour of the delivery lol. It wasn't that bad at all and glad I was able to participate rather than just being an observer. The only really gross part was afterwards when the Dr. asked us if we want to see the bloody placenta, then proceed to stretch it out in front of us from the inside to illustrate how the baby was protected and moved around in there. That was gross lol. She also made a point that we can't keep it.... maybe because we are asian??



I thought that part was cool as hell, but I am glad I didn't watch it come out. You can keep the placenta if you want, you just need to sign a waiver and deal with a few raised eyebrows. Maybe she was afraid of black market placenta kabobs showing up at T&T  :dunno:

----------


## 90_Shelby

> It wasn't bad at all..........



I should have stopped reading here. Everything you typed following, was all bad, and a reminder why a hospital delivery should be the preferred choice, if you don’t want to experience what was just described.

----------


## ExtraSlow

> I should have stopped reading here. Everything you typed following, was all bad, and a reminder why a hospital delivery should be the preferred choice, if you don’t want to experience what was just described.



It's cool that choices exist.

----------


## benyl

Even with a midwife, we ended up in the hospital. We were all preped for home birth, but the final ultrasound showed that our daughter's bowels weren't clearing. We chose a hospital birth with a Doctor on standby in case there was an obstruction. There wasn't. Ultrasounds are a very very inexact science.

I watched the whole thing... Going to get snipped at the end of the month because I don't want to witness that again.

----------


## killramos

I am personally extremely shocked the number of you who went with either a midwife/doula or having home births rather than relying on doctors and hospitals.

Maybe it’s just a cultural thing for me but that isn’t something that would be anything resembling being on my radar.

----------


## ExtraSlow

well, you can choose a midwife and still plan for a hospital birth. That's an option too. And there is a massive difference between a midwife and a doula. Midwives are regulated medical professionals in Alberta (and I think all of North America).

There are stats available, but midwifery care is associate with statistically better outcomes for both mother and child. Choosing a midwife early in the process does not close any doors to you, including doctor delivery if that is medically required or that would lower a specific risk. Now, those stats need a little interpretation, because high risk pregnancies are never attended by midwives alone, so those more risky births have more undesirable outcomes.

----------


## Mitsu3000gt

> I am personally extremely shocked the number of you who went with either a midwife/doula or having home births rather than relying on doctors and hospitals.
> 
> Maybe it’s just a cultural thing for me but that isn’t something that would be anything resembling being on my radar.



I don't understand it either. Seems wildly irresponsible to not have both the baby and the mother at an actual hospital in case of complications or unforeseen events that could very easily be life threatening for one or both of them. Even if your mid wife is medically trained, that is nowhere near the same as being in a hospital or having access to diagnostics and an OR with surgeons. I don't get it, but each to their own.

----------


## ExtraSlow

> I don't understand it either. Seems wildly irresponsible to not have both the baby and the mother at an actual hospital in case of complications or unforeseen events that could very easily be life threatening for one or both of them. Even if your mid wife is medically trained, that is nowhere near the same as being in a hospital or having access to diagnostics and an OR with surgeons. I don't get it, but each to their own.



Statistics don't bear this out. It is not riskier.

I will say, before I had a pregnant wife, I knew zero about midwifes too. I thought they were some kind of medieval witch commune thing. It's a medical specialty that people don't look into until they need it, which is fine.

----------


## Tik-Tok

They only allow low risk births at home, and the percentage of complications that requires immediate medical equipment beyond what midwives carry, is insignificantly low. The chances of getting into a car accident to/from the hospital is higher.

----------


## killramos

I try to be open minded, but if the choice is between Medical Doctor, and glorified nurse ( actually I would imagine most nurses are more qualified ). I pick medical doctor all the time.

I really don’t mean to judge (and maybe my tone will come off badly), I am interested to understand your rationale, I just don’t get it at all in Canada.

States? Hey doctors and hospitals are fucking expensive, I can see why people look to other avenues. But I’ve paid more than enough taxes Here that I’ll go with the best training and facilities I can get.

My best friend is having a kid any day now and his wife is near autistic about staying as far from a hospital, doctors, and drugs as humanly possible. Neither me or him get it, but hey happy wife happy life?

----------


## Tik-Tok

How much involvement do you think a doctor has in a hospital birth these days? It isn't as they depict on TV.

----------


## ExtraSlow

> I am interested to understand your rationale, I just don’t get it at all in Canada.



Statistically better care and better outcomes. That's the driver for many people. 

And yeah, being "inside" a hospital building actually doesn't increase your access to doctors by as much as you think. Nor does having a midwife decrease your access to obstetricians.

----------


## Mitsu3000gt

> Statistics don't bear this out. It is not riskier.
> 
> I will say, before I had a pregnant wife, I knew zero about midwifes too. I thought they were some kind of medieval witch commune thing. It's a medical specialty that people don't look into until they need it, which is fine.



I guess where I am coming from is even if the risk is 1%, why take it when it's unnecessary? It's just not worth it if the possible consequence is losing your wife and/or child, however low the chances. I know what is required to become a midwife, but no amount of training can replace a hospital. As I said, each to their own, it's just not something I will ever agree with given what's at stake.

You could make the argument that they could get into a car crash on the way home from the hospital or something which is also a possibility, but removing them from an environment where proper medical care is available should something go wrong in what is usually the most significant event in people's lives just seems extremely unnecessary IMHO.

Again, not judging and I'm glad to have the option, but I just personally will never understand it.




> They only allow low risk births at home, and the percentage of complications that requires immediate medical equipment beyond what midwives carry, is insignificantly low. The chances of getting into a car accident to/from the hospital is higher.



Who enforces that? To my knowledge nobody can stop you if you insist on a home birth, I have never heard otherwise but maybe I'm wrong.

----------


## jwslam

> his wife is near autistic



Maybe use different language especially when this thread is full of parents...

----------


## ExtraSlow

> I guess where I am coming from is even if the risk is 1%, why take it when it's unnecessary?



 It's not adding 1% risk. IT IS NOT RISKIER, no matter what your uninformed opinion is. And again, it's optional, and choosing midwives doesn't mean you have to give birth at home. Only something like half choose that.

----------


## benyl

> I try to be open minded, but if the choice is between Medical Doctor, and glorified nurse ( actually I would imagine most nurses are more qualified ).



This is the misconception.

Doctors don't deliver babies, Nurses do. There are a lot of shitty nurses and our first kid had a shitty nurse. Wife had tearing and we had to wait for the doctor for almost an hour for her to be stitched up due to a complicated birth in the next room. The midwife can stitch you up, no waiting. 

Our second kid with the midwife was 10,000x better. They know what they are doing. 

The midwife stays with you the entire time. Nurses come in and out. The doctor comes once and then disappears until the baby is crowning.

Traditional birth in an hospital if for those that want no attention or no attention to detail. It infuriating. I can ramble on and on about how crappy the first round for us was.

----------


## Tik-Tok

> Who enforces that? To my knowledge nobody can stop you if you insist on a home birth, I have never heard otherwise but maybe I'm wrong.



Directly, no one. Midwife groups/businesses will refuse to do it if you're high risk. If a death were to occur because they accepted a known high risk patient, they would lose their permit to practice, along with any possible legal charges.

So I'm sure there are some that still will do it, but there will always be that segment regardless.

----------


## benyl

> Directly, no one. Midwife groups/businesses will refuse to do it if you're high risk. If a death were to occur because they accepted a known high risk patient, they would lose their permit to practice, along with any possible legal charges.
> 
> So I'm sure there are some that still will do it, but there will always be that segment regardless.



You can have a birth anywhere you want, with or without a doctor or a midwife. People do it all time all around the world.

Western civilization has made giving birth out to be an "illness" where a doctor is required to facilitate the process to becoming "well" again. WTF. It's a natural process, that yes, can have complications, but women's bodies were made to give birth without interference.

----------


## Mitsu3000gt

> It's not adding 1% risk. IT IS NOT RISKIER, no matter what your uninformed opinion is. And again, it's optional, and choosing midwives doesn't mean you have to give birth at home. Only something like half choose that.



Well we were discussing home births, or at least that was the impression I got. What makes you think my opinion is uninformed? Every doctor I've ever spoken to about it shares my opinion. Let me ask you this then - if an unexpected complication occurs that requires immediate, life-saving surgery (regardless of the chances), would you rather your wife and child be in a hospital or at home with a midwife?

As I said before, I am not judging and I'm glad to have the choice, it's just not something I would personally ever agree with.

----------


## bjstare

This thread is perfect. I hope OP got what he wanted  :ROFL!:

----------


## rage2

> I don't understand it either. Seems wildly irresponsible to not have both the baby and the mother at an actual hospital in case of complications or unforeseen events that could very easily be life threatening for one or both of them. Even if your mid wife is medically trained, that is nowhere near the same as being in a hospital or having access to diagnostics and an OR with surgeons. I don't get it, but each to their own.



It's why we chose to use midwife with a hospital delivery. Best of both worlds. The reason for the midwife for our 2nd and 3rd was purely to work with the same person. Without a midwife, you're basically delivering a baby with whomever is working at the hospital at the time, adding to the stress of an already stressful situation. I wasn't a fan of midwives at first, let the experts do it's thing, but after giving it a try, I wouldn't do it any other way. Totally changed my opinion 2 appointments in. They're experts as well and having the same person with you from -4 months to +1 month is a much better experience. They even plan their holidays around the delivery date to ensure you're only dealing with them. It's like VIP service, for free.

Homebirth isn't worth the risk IMO, however minuscule the risk may be. So I agree with you there.

----------


## 01RedDX

.

----------


## dirtsniffer

> How much involvement do you think a doctor has in a hospital birth these days? It isn't as they depict on TV.



In my (my wifes actually lol) experience a dr administered the epidural. Took about 5 minutes, was a surgeon who did it I am fairly sure.

Resident (Dr supervised) delivered the baby and did the stitches after. Maybe was involved for 30 minutes. Didn't see another one during our overnight stay.

Mid wives sound awesome. if we have another we will look into it for sure.

----------


## killramos

> This thread is perfect. I hope OP got what he wanted



I think I am definitely failing on trying to be open minded, at least tonally.  :ROFL!: 

I have nothing to add or argue about aside from my uneducated opinion (hence my general deferal to medical doctors).

I continue to be interested in what people have to say though  :dunno:

----------


## sabad66

We had both of our kids without midwives, but our first had a couple of minor complications (umbilical cord wrapped around neck + pooped while still inside) so we were very happy to be in the hospital. They had the "green team" on standby which was basically 4 or 5 nurses/doctors ready to go during delivery to handle any issues. Luckily there were none but having them there ready to go was reassuring. After that experience i would never do a home birth.

If we have any more, might look into a midwife based on the feedback i'm reading, but would still be hospital for sure.




> In my (my wifes actually lol) experience a dr administered the epidural. Took about 5 minutes, was a surgeon who did it I am fairly sure.
> 
> Resident (Dr supervised) delivered the baby and did the stitches after. Maybe was involved for 30 minutes. Didn't see another one during our overnight stay.
> 
> Mid wives sound awesome. if we have another we will look into it for sure.



Anesthesiologists are the only doctors allowed to administer epidurals as far as i know. Could be wrong on that though.

----------


## 90_Shelby

> It's cool that choices exist.



Apparently not, based on the negative rep and someone calling me a "bitch" for posting that comment.

HAHAHAHAHA

----------


## Skrilla

> This thread is perfect. I hope OP got what he wanted



And then some  :ROFL!:

----------


## ExtraSlow

I think the thread had relevant helpful advice before we started arguing about risk statistics. Or I hope so anyway. OP if you have more questions, ask away and we can help get back on track.

----------


## sabad66

After you have your kid, your username should change to Had_Skrilla

----------


## Mitsu3000gt

> It's why we chose to use midwife with a hospital delivery. Best of both worlds. The reason for the midwife for our 2nd and 3rd was purely to work with the same person. Without a midwife, you're basically delivering a baby with whomever is working at the hospital at the time, adding to the stress of an already stressful situation. I wasn't a fan of midwives at first, let the experts do it's thing, but after giving it a try, I wouldn't do it any other way. Totally changed my opinion 2 appointments in. They're experts as well and having the same person with you from -4 months to +1 month is a much better experience. They even plan their holidays around the delivery date to ensure you're only dealing with them. It's like VIP service, for free.
> 
> Homebirth isn't worth the risk IMO, however minuscule the risk may be. So I agree with you there.



This makes complete sense to me and I think midwives are great just in case that was not clear. Combined with a hospital I think that is a win/win. It is specifically the home birth scenario that I would never risk, regardless of who is doing it. Even if you had a team of doctors in your house, it's still not as good as being in a hospital if something went terribly wrong unexpectedly.

Both of my nieces had unexpected complications at birth that required them to be at a hospital and that has definitely opened my eyes as to how dangerous it would be if it was done at home.

----------


## Skrilla

> After you have your kid, your username should change to Had_Skrilla



NGL I am not a fan of my username anymore haha. Thought I was cooler 12 years ago

----------


## Tik-Tok

Back on topic.


Don't shake the baby. Also no NyQuil until they're at least 5yo. No matter how much you want them to sleep.

----------


## SQ2

I’ll chime in with the perspective of a mom who has gone both dr and midwife routes. 

Dr: I had never met the dr who delivered my eldest until I was in labour. She was nice, but I don’t even remember her name, and probably interacted with her for 30 minutes total. I had a great nurse during labour, then a terrible one post-delivery. It’s a total gamble what the experience will be, depending on who happens to get assigned to you in the hospital. Then, staying overnight in the hospital alone, I had little to no support as I lay there trying to figure out what the heck to do with a tiny human. 

Midwife: We met with her regularly from 4 months on. Her career is focused on maternal health, and delivering babies safely. Going home shortly after the birth to be able to immediately settle in, and have access to family support was huge. Another big bonus was that rather than having to go anywhere with a newborn for a checkup, she continues to come to your home to check in post birth. 

On advice for a soon to be dad, I think it’s been covered. But, I agree, support and understanding for your wife is incredibly important. And - food. She will have no energy to think of cooking. Have meals ready to go, and get your freezer full prior to your due date with things that just need to be heated up. If you’re home with her, don’t even think of getting food for yourself without making something for her too.

----------


## Skrilla

Thankfully my wife is a RN so she knows most of the nurses at the hospital. I got some great ideas to make life easier for sure, much appreciated! We have an ultrasound next week to hopefully determine gender. 

Was curious, for time off, how much did you guys take off when your child was born? Was thinking 10-14 days tops but maybe that's off.

----------


## JustinL

I took 3 full weeks, then worked 2 days a week for 2 weeks, then 3 days for 2 weeks, then back full time. Wife took one year then back 3 days a week now that daycare is back open.

----------


## bjstare

> Thankfully my wife is a RN so she knows most of the nurses at the hospital. I got some great ideas to make life easier for sure, much appreciated! We have an ultrasound next week to hopefully determine gender. 
> 
> Was curious, for time off, how much did you guys take off when your child was born? Was thinking 10-14 days tops but maybe that's off.



I took about 10 weeks. My company is pretty good, they offer 17 weeks of parental leave at 85% of my salary. I had intended to take the whole 17 weeks, but the right opportunity at work came up, so I came back for that.

We're expecting our second on July 20th, and again I'm planning on taking the whole time, but anticipate coming back a little bit early if the right role comes up.

The first it was mostly like vacation. She was an easy baby, and both of our parents are in town, so we just enjoyed lots of family time. I'm anticipating this will be much more work for us as a couple, since we have a busy toddler to chase around.

I would take as much time as you can justify being away from work.

----------


## killramos

> I took about 10 weeks. My company is pretty good, they offer 17 weeks of parental leave at 85% of my salary. I had intended to take the whole 17 weeks, but the right opportunity at work came up, so I came back for that.
> 
> We're expecting our second on July 20th, and again I'm planning on taking the whole time, but anticipate coming back a little bit early if the right role comes up.
> 
> The first it was mostly like vacation. She was an easy baby, and both of our parents are in town, so we just enjoyed lots of family time. I'm anticipating this will be much more work for us as a couple, since we have a busy toddler to chase around.
> 
> I would take as much time as you can justify being away from work.



That’s an insane amount of time off.

----------


## cycosis

If you want to learn about car seats, just message me. Did inspections/installs full time for 7 years.

My little guy is creeping up on 2. Its been amazing but also one of the hardest things I've done. Make sure you keep it balanced, ie. if the kiddo wakes up crying in the night, take half of the turns going to sooth/change/feed. You dont get special privileges just because you get to go to work everyday. And put the phone down. They grow at a lightning pace and it will be over before you know it, so be mindful to be present.

----------


## vengie

> I am personally extremely shocked the number of you who went with either a midwife/doula or having home births rather than relying on doctors and hospitals.
> 
> Maybe its just a cultural thing for me but that isnt something that would be anything resembling being on my radar.



FYI Doula /= Midwife.

A Doula is a support person and will be with you during the birth, but they don't have any medical involvement.


To O.P
First off congrats! its a amazing time and live in the moment.
My wife and I had a doula (which I personally highly recommend) and she was phenomenal.

My Tips:
Birthing process
1) Take over the room, lights off play music, move the bed in any way you want. Keep your wife moving as much as possible.
2) Snacks! Bring a lot of snacks... My wife labored for nearly 18 hours (hence why a doula is phenomenal)
3) Keep her hydrated - Even if she doesn't want water, have her drink some every 10 mins

At Home
1) Have your baby introduced to a bottle ASAP!! This will allow you to take over 1 night feed and allow mom an extra couple hours of sleep - this is a big deal.
We had our son introduced to a bottle on day 3, and wife pumped all milk required.
2) Move baby to their own crib/ room relatively quickly (We moved our son into his crib at 4 weeks) This will drastically improve sleep for both of you
3) Don't buy new things - they are expensive as hell, kids out grow things extremely fast and things are cheap on kijiji/ marketplace
4) Dr Chase Kolik Gripe Water ,this stuff has been gold in our house as our son was/ is quite gassy - Get the good stuff, not the alcohol free. Its very gentle on baby so no worries.

Again live in the moment and good luck! If you want me to elaborate on any of this PM me.

----------


## skandalouz_08

I just had my second on the 23rd. Definitely a change having a toddler plus a little one. I took off 2 weeks, back to work this week but still working from home so I can still go help with nap time and anything else that's needed. So far so good though and wife hasn't needed much help.

----------


## JRSC00LUDE

> For the love of god dont snip the poor fella



No kidding, what on earth is with the complete acceptance and encouragement of genital mutilation for boys?

----------


## Rocket1k78

> Oh there is no way I'm peaking haha.



The nurse made me look with my second and it was pretty intense.....




> I am personally extremely shocked the number of you who went with either a midwife/doula or having home births rather than relying on doctors and hospitals.
> 
> Maybe its just a cultural thing for me but that isnt something that would be anything resembling being on my radar.



Im really surprised too but after reading the posts i would probably go midwife/hospital route too. We got lucky with our kids because the nurses were all amazing but i could see the experience being way better with an actual person being there the whole time helping my wife out

----------


## gwill

vengie- your advice on the bottle made me laugh. I had a friend say breastfeeding is the only way to go this way they never had to help with bottles.

----------


## schurchill39

I took a month off with my first born and was planning for the same amount of time with my second until covid happened and it turned into 3 months. Not only was it beneficial for my wife to have me around as we navigated life with a baby, but it really helped me and forming a bond with the tiny human who is now screaming at me all the time. I wouldn't have traded that time for anything in the world. We try not to give any unsolicited advice to any new parents because we know how brutal and scary most of that advice can be, but the one piece of advice I do give any expecting dads is take as much time off as you possibly can because its time you will never get back and your wife could really use a hand. 




> FYI Doula /= Midwife.
> 
> A Doula is a support person and will be with you during the birth, but they don't have any medical involvement.
> 
> 
> To O.P
> First off congrats! its a amazing time and live in the moment.
> My wife and I had a doula (which I personally highly recommend) and she was phenomenal.
> 
> ...



This is all great advice! One note on the snacks front though is that make sure what ever you bring or give her is easy to throw up so things like muffins and soft fruit will be easier than granola bars. 

The bottle thing is also key the only thing I would add is that I believe its more about consistency than it is about early age as they can't form an association for quite a while. But if you're consistent with the bottle then once that ability to associate boob + bottle = food then you are ahead of the game. Our first was really good with the bottle but I wasn't consistent with it and we had about 3 months there where it was a fight to get him back on it. Also, your kid will end up having a preference for a bottle type and it probably won't be any of the first 2-3 that you buy because kids are assholes. 

Gripe water is the shit. It was the only thing that calmed our son down, it was our life blood for a little bit because he was so gassy. The second one hasn't needed it but we have a bottle on standby just in case.

I'd also recommend getting the app or the book Wonder Weeks. It had phenomenal information about the gestation of baby then about all of their developmental leaps. Just when you think they are in a routine they will switch it up and turn into terrorists, this book/app helps explain what new skills they are learning and why the sudden change in their behavior. 

Also, you're a ways away from this point now but when baby is here you're going to probably want a way to track naps, feeds, diapers, medication etc so find a good app to track that. We've used BabyTime for both kids because it syncs between our phones and its been clutch. Things are going to be a blurr and you and momma are going to forget when baby last ate or was changed so it really helps with your sanity. Plus when they start having legit naps and not sporadic sleeping its good to track that and get a bit of a feel of how that is going. Mind you, my wife and I are engineers so maybe we just like data....


EDIT: Side note, midwives carry the same amount of equipment with them everywhere they go that you would find in a level 1 hospital like High River. If you are a low risk pregnancy you're more than covered with medical training and equipment regardless of where you choose to have your kid and if there is an unexpected issue they are more than capable of handling it to get you transferred to emergency care (regardless if you are at the hospital or home). Again, like many people have mentioned just because you have a midwife doesn't mean you have to have a home birth, if you feel more comfortable in a hospital then the midwife will deliver your baby there. You get the same level of care and experience with a midwife regardless of where you choose to have the baby and I would say there is no argument that the total experience with a Midwife from pre to post birth far exceeds the random Doctor/Nurse combo you're going to get come delivery. Its more about having the same person who saw you through your whole pregnancy be there for the actual birth and do all of the follow up. It was a really educational experience for me and instilled a ton of confidence in us.

----------


## vengie

> vengie- your advice on the bottle made me laugh. I had a friend say breastfeeding is the only way to go this way they never had to help with bottles.



This is definitely the alternative.
But personally I'm not a dickhead and would prefer to help my wife in any way possible.

----------


## bjstare

> That’s an insane amount of time off.



Ya it’s a lot. Our company is driving pretty hard towards gender equality, and parental leave is an obvious area where typically men don’t take much time off, so they strongly encourage it. I could go on, but maybe save it for next time we get a coffee. 

In the grand scheme though, 3 weeks vs 10 or even 20 is inconsequential as far as my work is concerned. I only have one shot to spend that kind of time with my kids, I’m gonna take advantage of it, at least to some extent.

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## killramos

> Ya it’s a lot. Our company is driving pretty hard towards gender equality, and parental leave is an obvious area where typically men don’t take much time off, so they strongly encourage it. I could go on, but maybe save it for next time we get a coffee. 
> 
> In the grand scheme though, 3 weeks vs 10 or even 20 is inconsequential as far as my work is concerned. I only have one shot to spend that kind of time with my kids, I’m gonna take advantage of it, at least to some extent.



It’s pretty cool of them for sure.

How much to take off is definitely a complicated juggling act career wise.

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## nismodrifter

I had booked 1 week off for baby. I instantly turned that into 2 as soon as we returned home. I then worked usual hours for 2 weeks until we were told to shut down re COVID. Since that time I've been working 1/2 days only by choice. Going into month 5 now. 

COVID + WFH has been a blessing in disguise. I am self employed, so this has essentially been a paid paternity leave. Without COVID being the push to WFH I don't think I would have worked reduced hours for this long. Staying at home and seeing all the stuff happen during the day that I would have otherwise missed has made me realize how important these early months are. Take as much time off as possible, you will never regret it. I will definitely try and do this for future kids as well.  :Smilie:

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## austic

I just had my second child last month and have a two year old as well. 
Be prepared you will be tired all the time for the first three months so buy stronger coffee. I reccomend death wish coffee or make sure you are well stocked up on your favortie caffine source. 
Take as much time off as you can (see point one) you will be tired and will need to try to watch the baby while your wife sleeps etc.

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## JRSC00LUDE

I just hope you do a better job than I did with Rurr Jurr. I know it's a little late son but, I finally bought that pack of cigarettes I went out to get in 1993.

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## brucebanner

Instead of starting a new thread, I'm just going to piggy back off of this one. 

Expecting our first little one in the summer and finally went shopping for some stuff last week and there are tons of options for everything, obviously.

So I'm looking for some help in recommendations with your must haves and things you found helpful to have.

Also if there are decent sites to review different car seats / strollers etc. It seems as though every site I've come across are just terrible haha.

Any help would be much appreciated.

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## ExtraSlow

This isn't popular with the aspen crown, but get the graco for both. Wal mart and Costco both sell em. Buy a base for the infant seat for each car.

There's better stuff than graco out there, but not better value. It's a baby not a fashion accessory.

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## ThePenIsMightier

> This isn't popular with the aspen crown, but get the graco for both. Wal mart and Costco both sell em. Buy a base for the infant seat for each car.
> 
> There's better stuff than graco out there, but not better value. It's a baby not a fashion accessory.



x2 sort of. I recommend the Baby Trends brand for infant car seats because it had a handle that meant your hand was in a natural position when lugging it around. If your palms are facing forward, it's a lot more difficult and awkward.

Save the Diono car seats for Aspen. Fuck those completely. Horribly heavy and fragile.

Buy a used City Select stroller on Kijiji for like $700 and sell it in two years for $650. Or, scavenge hard and get one for $600 that you sell for a profit in two years.

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## gwill

We have 2 babies a year apart at home right now. The wife decided peg perrego strollers and car seats. Biggest help early on was a good swing. A good bouncy chair.

Both babies were born in summer so a good shade protector for spending time outside was crucial. Our back yard has turned into a jungle gym as we aren't taking the kids out much.

We picked up a Pickler recently which has been awesome for the older baby inside the house. Also the kitchen helper/stool device has been perfect for when cooking in the kitchen. The older baby likes helping or being involved.

Added options to consider for the wife are anything to help with simplifying some dinners. I bought a souve vide machine and one of the insta pots.

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## Cagare

That baby carrier just get the most reasonable thing you can get. They are not in it long enough to justify it. It's when they get into a car seat, get one that will go from rear to front facing, that will last you a long ass time and will be more of an annoyance if not a good quality.

My in-laws agreed to buy our stroller, so we bought new, and a nice one. If I were paying, 100% go used as noted above. For everything else focus on functionality first. I think we would have bought a lot more stuff used if we didn't have family giving gifts, etc.

The biggest game changer when our kids were born was the video baby monitor which was a relatively ne thing then. Especially one that can pan and tilt remotely, or multiple cameras if it doesn't have that.

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## ExtraSlow

Help for the wife is a huge one. Some families use a "postpartum doula" or a "mothers helper" when they are babies. Or house cleaners, or a husband who steps up and does the majority of the "pink" chores. Or weekly babysitting/respite care for the older kids.

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## killramos

Don’t go overboard on clothes, especially in NB sizes. Clothes are the easiest gifts and you will likely get a lot. That and people are always peddling them online in huge quantities if you are ok with used.

Our daughter is super into those little double arc play gym things that flash lights and sounds with hanging mobiles etc. Thing could 3/4 of the way to babysit her most of the day.

We have a mamaroo seat, huge waste of money for our kid, she much prefers the cheappo bouncer. Try not to get too much shit because there are going to be things your kid won’t gaf about. I know lots of people who swore by the mamaroo but just shows that the kid is the one in the driver seat for those preferences etc.

Have realistic expectations about what your life will be like post kiddo and you will be better off for it. Current covid rules of being locked up and never really seeing people, that’s your new life regardless of where covid is later in the year. At least for a while. It’s not so bad as long as you don’t expect otherwise.

Number one thing I can say, is if you are up before mom in the morning. Grab the baby and leave to let her get a few minutes of uninterrupted sleep. It’s easy for you to hold the baby while having your morning coffee and means a lot to mom.

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## 89coupe

> So...my wife and I are expecting our first youngster in December. Neither of us had intentions of having kids before, but things changed and we have been trying. I'm just looking to see what tips are out there. What are things I should be getting together? May sound silly but I have literally no idea what to do/expect, just looking for advice haha



Get your child into set schedules.
Sleeping
Eating 
Activities 
If you don’t they will rule your world. Once they become accustom to schedules they will never argue or complain about bedtime, eating, or anything really. 

Don’t spend crazy money on, car seats, strollers, cribs, etc. Waste of money.

Simple is best.

Don’t go crazy on brand name clothes, waste of money, they grow too fast to bother.

Take lots of photos, memories are amazing, they grow so fast.

Get them reading as early as possible, the more they read, the faster their brains develop.

Keep them away from iPads and electronics, or at least limit their exposure.

Get them involved in activities, sports, interaction with other kids, helps with social development.

My two cents.

Congrats and good luck. Kids are amazing!

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## killramos

> Never, under any circumstances, let them drink pop



Sorry, low hanging fruit is low hanging fruit.

----------


## gwill

> Help for the wife is a huge one. Some families use a "postpartum doula" or a "mothers helper" when they are babies. Or house cleaners, or a husband who steps up and does the majority of the "pink" chores. Or weekly babysitting/respite care for the older kids.



I hired cleaners quite regularly early on. It was always appreciated. I also picked up a nice patio set so my wife could spend as much time outside with the kids comfortably.

Backyard essentials have been more important now than ever.

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## 89coupe

> Sorry, low hanging fruit is low hanging fruit.



Yes, why the fuck would you let a child drink pop, pure sugar, just garbage for a growing body.

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## killramos

> Yes, why the fuck would you let a child drink pop, pure sugar, just garbage for a growing body.



Can’t argue with that one

----------


## brucebanner

Appreciate the info / opinions. Keep them coming.

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## 90_Shelby

Trackhawk is the perfect family vehicle.

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## ExtraSlow

> Trackhawk is the perfect family vehicle.



+1, and the interior is easy to clean.

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## Disoblige

> +1, and the interior is easy to clean.



Agreed. Simple basic cheaply made shapes; all plastic, non porous  :Wink:

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## dirtsniffer

Save your money and don't buy the fancy stuff. Graco has treated we well for the parts that ive conviced my wife for. Try not to buy much. 3 years later im still finding things new with tags. We had good luck with swaddlers diapers. Blow outs suck, so try s fee brands. Get used to a messy house.

Do a birth and babies class, you'll learn some useful info, but the biggest thing is your wife will have a group of people to talk and share with about some fucking hard realities. That's my biggest piece of advice, 3 years later and we are still friends with some and most still talk weekly. 

If you have a 2 story house put a second change and nap station on the main floor. 

No need to scare you with all the hard stuff. Take lots of photos, it'll go faster than you can believe

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## RX_EVOLV

It's true when they say The days are long, but the years are short. Can't believe our girl is turning 2 already. Feels like it was yesterday when we brought her home. 

My opinion is that there are some stuff absolutely worth splurging on (like a good baby monitor) and some stuff just go cheap or even borrow if you can since you might only need it for a couple of months. But either way, dont get it until you need it since every baby is different. 

We got so much stuff that we later realize we didn't need at all, like a bouncer/rocker or baby gates. Somehow we got away not needing either. or the infant insert for the baby carrier. That one is still BNIB.

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## bjstare

I'm going to buck the trend here, and say that lots of the brand name baby gear is actually nicer. It may or may not be worth the full pop retail cost to you (extra 50% cost gets you 15% more quality/better design), but at a minimum it's definitely worth scouring kijiji and getting a used "nice" [insert piece of baby gear] for the same price as a new "average" [same piece of baby gear]. We have basically all higher end stuff and when we end up selling it, it's going to be very lightly used, and significantly cheaper than retail.

If you like to spend any time outside, get a jogging stroller of some type. Doesn't necessarily have to be expensive, just have big wheels. Doing any type of outdoor walk with your normal mall cruiser Nuna or even worse yet an umbrella stroller is not great in summer, and impossible in winter if people haven't shovelled. FWIW we have a Thule chariot cross 2, and of all the expensive brand name kid stuff we have, this one is by far the most worthy of the cost. Quality is fantastic and our only experience with the warranty process (wife ripped the padding on the handle) was painless and efficient.

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## npham

> I'm going to buck the trend here, and say that lots of the brand name baby gear is actually nicer. It may or may not be worth the full pop retail cost to you (extra 50% cost gets you 15% more quality/better design), but at a minimum it's definitely worth scouring kijiji and getting a used "nice" [insert piece of baby gear] for the same price as a new "average" [same piece of baby gear]. We have basically all higher end stuff and when we end up selling it, it's going to be very lightly used, and significantly cheaper than retail.



Yea, this was our mindset too for the most part too. One caveat is that when we spent more money, it was something that would last a long time or serve multiple purposes. We got an expensive convertible car seat (a wool Clek Foonf), but one he stays in longer since it has a higher height limit than other car seats. This car seat is also a tank and one of the safest ones out there. A couple of other things we splurged on were his crib and high chair. Both of which you buy cheaply, but if you get a 3 in 1 or 4 in 1 crib (West Elm/Pottery Barn Mid-Century) that will last till he's 16+, it is a lot easier to open up the wallet. The high chair (Nomi) we got was one that is highly adjustable and as he grows, we just move the footrest and seat to accommodate him. When he outgrows it, it becomes a stool that's rated for 200 lbs or so. You can always buy a cheap Ikea highchair for the grandparent's house.

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## ThePenIsMightier

Screw high chairs. Fisher Price makes one that sits in a kitchen chair and is super easy to drag to others' houses.
It's called a Space Saver. You buy meow.

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## ExtraSlow

Ikea is amazing for kids stuff. If they sell it, get it there. High chairs, cribs, dishes, bedding, stuffed animals etc.

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## bjstare

We used the Ikea high chair for quite a while (>2years). In some senses it's great (cheap, reasonably easy to clean); it's got it's drawbacks too. Not adjustable, no footrest, and *the legs stick out so goddamn far that every single person who walks past it will trip on them*. Literally every family member, including those of us that actually live in this house, has tripped over that fucking chair.

We replaced it with a Stokke Tripp Trapp. Granted it's 15 or 20x the cost of the ikea chair (yes, it's ridiculous), it's definitely nicer in every respect. Also highly configurable, etc. After having a cheap high chair for the first kid, and an expensive one for the second kid, for us it was definitely an item worth splurging on. It gets many hundreds of hours of use.

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## TurboMedic

Scour marketplace for good things. My wife got really good at this, so we were able to score nice things that were gently used for cheap.....Things we found value in:

Bassinest by Halo - Find a used one, use it for a couple months, and sell it for the same. This was a zero cost item for us in the end. 

Hatch Baby Grow change pad scale - Again, look for used, picked up for the price of a mid range changing pad, and is awesome for tracking feeds, tracking growth, etc. 

Boon High chair - Looks good, rolls around, easy to clean, and again can be sold for what you buy it for used

Powered swing - Another short use item, when clean and used can be flipped for no cost

Jolly jumper - from about 4 months on this seems to be the favorite activity, and its stupid cheap. 

V-Tech RM5764HD baby monitor - We discussed monitors for a long time. We wanted the ability to watch local while we were in the house, but also the ability to watch while we were at the neighbors, or anywhere else. This one is an authenticated remote access (so not like an IP cam), where you can watch on the local monitor and a smart phone at the same time, you can control the pan tilt, talk, listen, everything through both as well. This covers us when babysat and when I'm at work and just want to peek at him sleeping. Super happy with this purchase and the research we did. 

Little einstein activity mat or fisher price kick piano - great entertainment to put the kid down and shower, or just let him/her explore. 

Bumbo seat - kids want to be part of the action, so sometimes when the activity mat is not what they want, bumbo them on the counter to just be part of it all. 

Uppababy Cruz v2 stoller - this is one we paid full bore for, and I will admit when I was wrong. I wanted a cheaper stroller, but this thing is just made good, folds and rolls good, has tons of accessories, and hold their value for resale. Its expensive, but you'll use it lots. 

Used carseat peg perego 4-32 - This is controversial, and I admit I won't buy a carseat from just anyone. This is a friends and family or coworkers kind of deal. We got a car seat with 2 more years to go on the clock, with 2 bases for $75. Our friends bought a Mesa for $600 and had to buy another base one top of that. Guess who makes out better in the end when they graduate to a convertible in the year

Britax convertible car seat - These are expensive but you'll use them a long time. For me, it was down to safety, comfort, adjustability as they grow (do you have to disassemble to adjust the belts? no good), and cup holders. My wife is funny with this because she makes fun of me wanting cup holders, well where do you think your kid is going to put things in their hands if there aren't places for it.......right on the perforated leather. Unfortunately you'll need 2 of these unless you want to lug a heavy seat back and forth between vehicles. Either way in our research, we liked these. Maybe a grandma wants to contribute

Car seat protector - just get a Diono knock off from Amazon, they all do the same thing. 


Things we didn't find value in:

Mammaroo - just a waste, glad we had this lent to us because it just wasn't as good as a swing. 

Boutique diapers, or kirklands - Just bulkier, not as nice, tended to not seal as well, and cost more. Just stick with pampers, do a subscribe and save

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## suntan

Definitely buy the Britax seats. They weren't in Canada when our kids were born, got them a couple of years later and they were way better to use than what we had before.

We went full hippie with the second child for sleep. Laid down with her in her room until she fell asleep and then left.

Then one day when she was about two, she said "I don't need you anymore. Good night".

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## legendboy

I could write an essay on this subject but I am not going to. I have 2 daughters, 11 and 14. I am 42 and my wife just turned 40. Let me know if you have any specific questions. I can't add to all the advice given in this thread, it is top notch. Take lots of pictures and videos so you can go back and re live the awesomeness of them as babies, toddlers and growing up. Frig I am almost in tears posting this, thinking about all of my experiences over the years. Time flies my friend. Lots of hard times the first year for you but mostly for your wife. Amazingness awaits!

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## cars5431

Like everyone else said time flys by. Enjoy it. Routines helped our kids, but the third kid we handled things a lot different. 1st kid is like disinfect everything, 3rd kid you don’t worry as much on this. (Besides COVID obviously taking a new swing on this). Don’t get to hung up on trying to to do everything by the book, find what works for you and your family. We have two older boys and decided 5 years later to have a baby. She’s just about 2 now but I will tell you we did spend a little extra on thing like stroller and others after using cheap stufff for first two. There is a difference but as mentioned in here look for used. If you need anything specifically and are ok with 2nd hand I’m willing to pass some stuff along. We have one of those uppababy strollers and bassinet combo but not sure if i would be able to pry from wife’s hands before you want. Everyone else advice so far totally agree with. Embrace the stages and enjoy the sleep while you can haha

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## BigDL

Britax convertible car seat has been great for us.

Birth and babies was really good too, but they have changed how it works due to covid is what I have heard. But still a great support group for your wife if you guys get along with the other couples, we had an amazing group.

babybrezza Steam Sterilizer, if you can find a used one in good condition is worth it. Makes life so easy for cleaning and drying the bottles. A bottle warmer is good too, especially when its some time in the middle of the night and the newborn is screaming their face off for food. My wife pumped so it made it easy for me to feed the monster in the middle of the night, the easier it is to feed them at night, the better for your sanity.

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## CLiVE

> If they suck their thumb, try and nip that in the bud early as it's a hard habit to break.
> .



This was an $8500 miss for me. Paying for the braces now.  :ROFL!:

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## bjstare

> This was an $8500 miss for me. Paying for the braces now.



I thought that was an old wives tale, and that thumb sucking doesn't actually fuck up kids' teeth? 

On a somewhat related note for new dads, take away the soother early. We took it away around 4 months IIRC (whenever they start rolling over and sleep with arms outside the swaddle). They complain a bit, but get over it within a couple days. I see people on my social media that have to take the soother away when the kid is 1-2yo, and it's a battle.

----------


## CLiVE

> I thought that was an old wives tale, and that thumb sucking doesn't actually fuck up kids' teeth? 
> 
> On a somewhat related note for new dads, take away the soother early. We took it away around 4 months IIRC (whenever they start rolling over and sleep with arms outside the swaddle). They complain a bit, but get over it within a couple days. I see people on my social media that have to take the soother away when the kid is 1-2yo, and it's a battle.



Nope - front teeth were significantly pushed outwards from it. She first had to have a 'habit breaker' which is a metal bridge between the teeth to stop thumb sucking and then braces later on.

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## ThePenIsMightier

Do not set your kid on a counter in a Bumbo seat.

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## bulaian

Birth and Babies courses are all virtual right now so I'm not sure how beneficial they would be, not being able to really interact with other couples.

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## Darkane

I’m sure it’s been said, but postpartum depression. 

Covid amplifies it, Keep an eye out for signs and changes in behaviour. 

A lot of women change for life after children. The woman you married and dated might not be the same. Not trying to scare you, just stating.

----------


## killramos

We took a birth and babies from AHS virtually and it was really really terrible.

I guess it depends on how interested you are in paying money to listen to a group of extremely pregnant ladies and new moms complain about how rough their week has been for 50-75% of the class time (0 exaggeration btw, we started every class with how has your week been) to watch a 90’s PowerPoint delivered by someone who’s qualifications can be summarized by “I’ve had 5 kids” rather than any actual medical credentials for a couple hours a week for a couple months.

IMHO you would be far better off cracking a beer and watching a few YouTube videos instead.

----------


## ExtraSlow

> I’m sure it’s been said, but postpartum depression. 
> 
> Covid amplifies it, Keep an eye out for signs and changes in behaviour. 
> 
> A lot of women change for life after children. The woman you married and dated might not be the same. Not trying to scare you, just stating.



Yeah keep and eye out for this. Minor for most people, but can be incredibly serious and life threatening. There's amazing resources for this, and if you need help, get it asap. "families matter Calgary" is who I'd call first.

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## haggis88

> This was an $8500 miss for me. Paying for the braces now.






> I thought that was an old wives tale, and that thumb sucking doesn't actually fuck up kids' teeth? 
> 
> On a somewhat related note for new dads, take away the soother early. We took it away around 4 months IIRC (whenever they start rolling over and sleep with arms outside the swaddle). They complain a bit, but get over it within a couple days. I see people on my social media that have to take the soother away when the kid is 1-2yo, and it's a battle.






> Nope - front teeth were significantly pushed outwards from it. She first had to have a 'habit breaker' which is a metal bridge between the teeth to stop thumb sucking and then braces later on.



Yup, first hand experience...luckily dental work for under-18s in the UK is provided by the NHS so my parents weren't out thousands for the extensive orthodontic work I had to have. I also apparently have a pretty severe tongue-tie which can contribute to it aswell. They diagnosed my son with it at the first visit to the Lactation consultant and it was fixed when he was like a week old.

My friends just had a daughter they diagnosed with a lip and cheek tie, she had it all lasered at 3 weeks old, but the bone of her top gum hadn't fully grown so she could have a slight cleft pallet - again, easy to reverse when they're newborns and will save extensive/expensive dental work later on.

The lactation consultant and baby chiropractor have been two invaluable resources for us. I'm not a believer in chiros, but I'd say she's more of a baby masseuse than a chiropractor in the adult sense, she doesn't crack baby at all, just massages and shows you different holds to stretch them for various scenarios


Also, the Once Upon A Child "thrift" stores....wife gets everything from there. They only take very good quality and clean stuff and have great sales on it too, we got the Basinest thing mentioned above and it was amazing!

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## sabad66

> This was an $8500 miss for me. Paying for the braces now.



Ugh, i haven't even considered that angle. Really need to get my 3 yr old son off it to avoid expensive braces in the future.

With my 1 yr old girl, we stopped her before it became a habit which was harder than people might think considering she watches her older brother do it all the time. We didn't let her get hooked to a soother either (she stopped taking it after 6 months) so definitely learned and applied the lesson from the first kiddo.

It's our own fault for taking advice from random internet parent forums when we googled about children sucking thumbs...the overwhelming consensus seemed to be to let them do it and they would grow out of it but it's much easier for everyone to just stop it early.

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## schurchill39

I am going to disagree with most beyonders here on the baby monitor suggestion. We tried a few of the expensive ones (on loan from friends in between kids) but always came back to the $40 wyze cams. Wyze cams were better video quality than 90% of what we tried and what other friends in my wife's birthing class use and you can access them from anywhere. If I am working on the road I am able to check in on them from my cell phone or if we are in the basement watching a movie we have an old cell phone we use as a monitor. We can talk back through it (to scare the shit out of my toddler so he naps) and the audio is great. We've had 1 crater in the 3 years its been set up so we replaced it for another $40. I believe 
@rage2
 had a suggestion a few years ago about using an app with an old cellphone which is basically how we came across the wyze cams and we've never regretted it since.



> Im sure its been said, but postpartum depression. 
> 
> Covid amplifies it, Keep an eye out for signs and changes in behaviour. 
> 
> A lot of women change for life after children. The woman you married and dated might not be the same. Not trying to scare you, just stating.



This is an excellent comment. Make a point of discussing PPD and PPA early in the pregnancy so it doesn't become a taboo subject. If you're with a midwife or even a doctor ask them about resources should momma go through that after baby is here. It all helps break down the stigma about recognizing there might be an issue and asking for help if she needs it. For our first we went as far as having a phone call with a therapist as a pseudo introduction should my wife need to talk to someone after. I don't think you necessarily need to go that far but talking about it before is key, then watch your wife closely after just to be sure she's okay.




> The lactation consultant and baby chiropractor have been two invaluable resources for us. I'm not a believer in chiros, but I'd say she's more of a baby masseuse than a chiropractor in the adult sense, she doesn't crack baby at all, just massages and shows you different holds to stretch them for various scenarios



We have taken both kids to chiro with Dr. Lindsay Nealon since they were about a month old and I 100% agree with you that they are a valuable resource. Like you said they don't crack or do weird manipulations like they do for adults and its more of a massage/information session. She helped identify different developmental milestones and when our kids might not be grasping a certain skill quite yet she gave us stretches or activities to do that definitely helped. Plus when they get mobile and fall on their asses she helps make sure nothing gets jammed up. My wife also saw her throughout her second pregnancy which helped a lot with her hip/back pain.

----------


## killramos

I splurged on a Nanit camera. Maybe a bit overkill but the quality is great, we make use of the white noise machine built in every night, the night light is also nice built in all in a solid app with great background audio support.

We use the “breathing monitor” features built in which helps my wife sleep at night.

No ragrets.

----------


## spike98

There is one piece of advise that i think is universal when looking at buying stuff. That is, to understand that this stuff is going to be almost worthless or sell for penny's on the dollar when the child grows out of them. Some stuff will hold a bit better value but for the most part, you lose BIG TIME. 

Get hand me downs on clothes where you can. That's the biggest waste IMO as the kid grows SO FAST you are just buying and buying then you have to sell a giant garbage back of it for $20 just to not have to throw it out. Second hand equipment where you would also save big. The only thing i wouldn't buy used would be the car seat(s).

As for my recommendation, the number one piece of equipment we couldn't live without would have been the Baby Brezza. Think keurig for milk. We put it in the baby's room and make late night feedings super easy and quick.

----------


## RX_EVOLV

> As for my recommendation, the number one piece of equipment we couldn't live without would have been the Baby Brezza. Think keurig for milk. We put it in the baby's room and make late night feedings super easy and quick.



Same here. The few things we have no regret splurging on and would recommend (if you need it).

1) Baby Brezza Formula Pro - Keurig for formula. life changing
2) Baby Brezza one step sterilizer
3) Arlo Baby monitor - all the convenience of a webcam (cast to any TV and phone around the house) + built in night light and sound machine. It also works on internal battery for a few hours so we can move it around the house the odd times the baby fell asleep somewhere else.
4) Snuggle Me - at first I thought my wife was crazy spending almost $200 on a pillow, but so worth it. 
5) Chicco keyfit 30 - it's so worth it to spend the money on an as light weight of an infant seat as possible. We didn't go with the Pipe lite because it can't stay flat on the ground by itself.
6) Pack and Play for the living room - we ended up changing 90% of the diapers (when she was an infant) in the living room pack and play changing pad rather than in her room. 
7) Diaper pail - I don't know why anyone would decide not to get a proper diaper pail but it's such a no brainer purchase. We use the Ubbi and then get Glad odorshield trash bag for it.

----------


## TurboMedic

> Do not set your kid on a counter in a Bumbo seat.



I'm sure this is an experience thing, and it always goes without saying that my suggestion was on the assumption they would not be left unattended and placement is key. I fail to see how its any different than a lobster chair. Keep stuff far enough away to not grab, and don't put them near an edge. I place mine on a big island. A little common sense is reasonable, no reason to bubble wrap

----------


## JfuckinC

6 months in, so far so good. 

only advice i can give is limit how much pop they get, we set that at 1 a day(usually diet too). and keep an eye on ipad usage, we avg about 4 hours per day (this doesn't include tv time).

Other wise have fun! take it all in, they grow up so fast.

----------


## A2VR6

+1 on the light weight infant seat (went with the nuna pipa) & daiper pail.

We got a Thule jogger (urban glide) and despite it being pretty huge its been amazing for snow/rough terrain. Totally worth the money.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> I'm sure this is an experience thing, and it always goes without saying that my suggestion was on the assumption they would not be left unattended and placement is key. I fail to see how its any different than a lobster chair. Keep stuff far enough away to not grab, and don't put them near an edge. I place mine on a big island. A little common sense is reasonable, no reason to bubble wrap



Totally. 


- - - Updated - - -




> 6 months in, so far so good. 
> 
> only advice i can give is limit how much pop they get, we set that at 1 a day(usually diet too). and keep an eye on ipad usage, we avg about 4 hours per day (this doesn't include tv time).
> 
> Other wise have fun! take it all in, they grow up so fast.



You should try giving them Red Bull. I mean not much more than half a can (I'm not a monster!!)
Their face really lights up when they drink that while in a Bumbo on the counter.

----------


## suntan

> Do not set your kid on a counter in a Bumbo seat.



Of course not, you put them in your coffee table in a Bumbo seat.

----------


## kJUMP

> I splurged on a Nanit camera. Maybe a bit overkill but the quality is great, we make use of the white noise machine built in every night, the night light is also nice built in all in a solid app with great background audio support.
> 
> We use the breathing monitor features built in which helps my wife sleep at night.
> 
> No ragrets.



Second this, the Nanit is great camera and app. lots of nice data too, overall way better than the POS Motorola camera thing we used for our first.

An update on my post in this thread from about a month ago... we enlisted Lisa Gelinas from the Mama Coach to help us with sleep training on our 5 month old. She was great. We did a modified cry it out (CIO) method in which we let her cry at night until she fell asleep but went in to check on her at set intervals, progressively lengthening them over time. The first week was rocky, not gonna lie, but now a few weeks out we got exactly the results we wanted, she is now sleeping through the night 10-12 hours waking up once midway or not at all to feed. Daytime naps are in the 3-4 hrs range total, no sweat. Totally different baby now, way happier and easier to manage. We've been freed from the shackles of sleep deprivation and constant frustration. Life is better now, it's a huge milestone step for them/us. 

I wish the OP a well rested baby that is capable of sleep. If things are going off the rails 3-4 months in, don't be afraid to start tinkering, but be consistent. Read lots of books, don't be afraid to ask for help. CIO methods and their cousins are powerful tools, yes the emotional investment is perhaps more taxing, but remember you are trying to improve life for them (with sleep) and you as parents will reap the benefits.

----------


## killramos

My wife swears by “taking cara babies” video courses which has helped a lot with our daughter sleeping and isn’t terribly expensive.

----------


## nismodrifter

> My wife swears by “taking cara babies” video courses which has helped a lot with our daughter sleeping and isn’t terribly expensive.



We also used these videos. They were very helpful. We did hire a sleep coach/consultant to further guide us through the process of sleep training. This helped us get sleep/wake times down to the minute. 

Our boy just turned 1 last week. The sleep deprivation is no longer an issue. I am drained at the end of the day just trying to keep up with him.  :Sleep ZzZZ: 

Lots of sound advice in this thread. So many resources out there for moms, very few for dads. This kind of thread is great.

----------


## Tik-Tok

On the subject of teeth, every kid is different, but DO NOT TRUST YOUR KID TO BRUSH THEIR OWN TEETH. Mine was doing really well brushing her own under supervision, so we figured we could trust her to do her own nightly routine. Due to Covid we avoided the dentist most of age 5. Then took her last January because a tooth was bugging her, and holy fuck. 5 major cavities on her molars that kids keeps until 10-12yo, so she had to have one pulled completely and 4 got silver caps.

Genetics is part of it, as my family has shitty teeth. I've brushed twice a day my entire life, and still have a crap ton of cavities, along with multiple other tooth issues. I won't even go into what some of my cousins had done.

But yeah, now I'm back to brushing her teeth for her because I don't want her to go through what I've had to.

----------


## BigDL

> On the subject of teeth, every kid is different, but DO NOT TRUST YOUR KID TO BRUSH THEIR OWN TEETH. Mine was doing really well brushing her own under supervision, so we figured we could trust her to do her own nightly routine. Due to Covid we avoided the dentist most of age 5. Then took her last January because a tooth was bugging her, and holy fuck. 5 major cavities on her molars that kids keeps until 10-12yo, so she had to have one pulled completely and 4 got silver caps.
> 
> Genetics is part of it, as my family has shitty teeth. I've brushed twice a day my entire life, and still have a crap ton of cavities, along with multiple other tooth issues. I won't even go into what some of my cousins had done.
> 
> But yeah, now I'm back to brushing her teeth for her because I don't want her to go through what I've had to.



Brutal, our kid had a fall, and messed up his bottom 2 front baby teeth. This is going to be fun to deal with in the long run, they had to remove them. Hopefully it won't screw up his speech development too much. Then again I was missing 2 teeth from both my top and bottom front teeth when I was a kid. They rotted away due to milk or something and had to be pulled.

----------


## TurboMedic

> Totally. 
> 
> 
> - - - Updated - - -
> 
> 
> 
> You should try giving them Red Bull. I mean not much more than half a can (I'm not a monster!!)
> Their face really lights up when they drink that while in a Bumbo on the counter.



I'm sure there is some real quality parenting out there, and I'm sure a factor in these was leaving children unattended or using the seat as a means of "child care". Be cautious, its fine. All of the lowest common denominator warnings and product recalls are just that. Don't be the lowest common denominator.

And, FWIW, the number of injuries vs. units sold in your graphic is infinitesimal value. Better yet, don't let your kid sleep in a crib, those things are death traps. Keep them awake at all times

https://www.cpsc.gov/s3fs-public/pdf...21313FINAL.pdf

----------


## haggis88

I guess we got lucky, ours has been sleeping through the night since he was about 5 weeks

We must be bad parents by not waking him exactly every 3 hours to feed him and only feeding him when he's hungry  :thumbs up:

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> I'm sure there is some real quality parenting out there, and I'm sure a factor in these was leaving children unattended or using the seat as a means of "child care". Be cautious, its fine. All of the lowest common denominator warnings and product recalls are just that. Don't be the lowest common denominator.
> 
> And, FWIW, the number of injuries vs. units sold in your graphic is infinitesimal value. Better yet, don't let your kid sleep in a crib, those things are death traps. Keep them awake at all times
> 
> https://www.cpsc.gov/s3fs-public/pdf...21313FINAL.pdf



You really want to keep arguing about what a great idea it is to perch children on a counter that's >3' high with a hard floor, below? Ok.
I've smoked a cigarette and I didn't die of cancer, therefore it's fine. I shoplifted a few chocolate bars and didn't get caught, so that's fine. I'll start promoting what good ideas those are.
I don't drive when I'm so tired that I can barely see, but people will be forced to parent in that state. So, why take a small probability risk on something that can have a catastrophic consequence when you're potentially in that state?
PS - I've had my kid roll off a change table and onto the carpet. It was the damnedest thing. She couldn't do it the week before and then she did it. Almost like they develop and change at alarming rates. 33" down to carpet and screams that will haunt me until I die (even though she was not injured, at all).

----------


## Tik-Tok

> I guess we got lucky, ours has been sleeping through the night since he was about 5 weeks
> 
> We must be bad parents by not waking him exactly every 3 hours to feed him and only feeding him when he's hungry



Yes you're lucky. We did the same, but it was over two years. Night terrors are a bitch.

----------


## ExtraSlow

It's super weird seeing turbo medic arguing this side.

----------


## 88CRX

> We also used these videos. They were very helpful. We did hire a sleep coach/consultant to further guide us through the process of sleep training. This helped us get sleep/wake times down to the minute. 
> 
> Our boy just turned 1 last week. The sleep deprivation is no longer an issue. I am drained at the end of the day just trying to keep up with him. 
> 
> Lots of sound advice in this thread. So many resources out there for moms, very few for dads. This kind of thread is great.



Sleep coaches? I had no idea that was a thing!

Going to be reading this thread in detail... expecting our first at the end of July.

----------


## ExtraSlow

most kids sleep fine. Some don't. If yours doesn't, don't fuck around, get help. Same as a lot of things. 

And in terms of legit fatherhood advice, the #1 most important thing you can do for your children and your family is to be there, and be truly present. Work less if you can, unplug from the email/phone, and be open to spending your time with the kids even when you aren't "accomplishing" something. That's the most important time of all.

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## nismodrifter

> Sleep coaches? I had no idea that was a thing!
> 
> Going to be reading this thread in detail... expecting our first at the end of July.



Congrats dude!

Re sleep trainer, its a huge stress reliever. The lady we hired was recommended by multiple colleagues. She help setup a sleep training program which we followed, and then was available on by phone or e-mail follow up to see how the bed time went. She could then suggest tweaks to the routine accordingly.

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## asp integra

+1 for hiring a sleep trainer/expert if your kid does not sleep.

With my first we eventually broke down and hired a sleep trainer when he was 11 months old. Best $350 we have ever spent. He went from sleeping for 2 hours at a time and needing to nurse multiple times during the night to fall back asleep, to sleeping from 730pm to 730am and rarely waking up throughout the night within the first week of implementing the plan. It was amazing.

With my second, we started to sleep train him as soon as he was about 4 months old and he has slept through the night consistently from that point on.

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## TurboMedic

> It's super weird seeing turbo medic arguing this side.



Because I believe strongly in personal accountability and common sense, over absurd things like warning labels and bubble wrapping children. How about those "keep away from fire" warnings on kids clothing. You know something happened to necessitate that one.

----------


## TurboMedic

> +1 for hiring a sleep trainer/expert if your kid does not sleep.
> 
> With my first we eventually broke down and hired a sleep trainer when he was 11 months old. Best $350 we have ever spent. He went from sleeping for 2 hours at a time and needing to nurse multiple times during the night to fall back asleep, to sleeping from 730pm to 730am and rarely waking up throughout the night within the first week of implementing the plan. It was amazing.
> 
> With my second, we started to sleep train him as soon as he was about 4 months old and he has slept through the night consistently from that point on.



Agree with sleep training! For us, sleep training happened at 4 months and it went amazing. We did it from a book called "the happy sleeper", and it took all of 1 night and he's been great since then. Routine was huge, weaning a soother was huge, and empowering him to self soothe helped him sleep through the night with nearly no issues. I never understand why people don't sleep train, I have friends that don't and I'm all feeling rested over here

----------


## CLiVE

> +1 on the light weight infant seat (went with the nuna pipa) & daiper pail.
> 
> We got a Thule jogger (urban glide) and despite it being pretty huge its been amazing for snow/rough terrain. Totally worth the money.



If anyone needs / wants a jogging stroller - my second kid has finally grown out of ours recently. Fire me a PM. 
Its an older Instep (run around) Jogging stroller with hand brake. Paid like $100 for it used....free for a beyonder. Great condition, and got me thru 6 years of Ironman training and running sessions with my kid in tow. haha (edit: spoken for already)

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## Ekliptix

I didn't read all the posts, but I have a 16 month old, with a second on the way in 3 months.
https://takingcarababies.com/ was our bible for sleep training. It has worked awesome. My daughter is very easy to put to sleep, following the lessons.

We also signed up at the hospital for some baby training, a few months before the birth. It taught swaddling, diaper changing, what to expect, feeding, how to help the Mom during the birth process, etc. Very helpful. Everyone in the class was noobs like us. They may offer it online now. We also to a hospital course for baby first aid (choking, etc).

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## killramos

I’ve got a question for people for their opinions around car seats. Any life hacks to getting around the sheer depth that rear facing car seats take up? Recommendations for ones that take up less space?

We have a Nuna Pipa and it’s great for day to day, but even in the wife’s SUV my knees are touching the dash in front of it which kind of blows chunks... I’m considering what would happen in a car where space is even more constrained than her SUV.

It makes me consider if maybe a “permanent” install rear facing convertible would be more compact for occasional use, yea you can’t carry the baby around in it but it works and is still safe.

Anyway, very interested in any thoughts and elaboration.

----------


## ExtraSlow

rear facing seats are monsters and don't fit well in most vehicles. They do fit well in minivans and Ford crew cab trucks. I have no suggestions on specific seats that are smaller. Many families like to rush the kids into front-facing ASAP for convenience alone, despite the fact that rear facing is MUCH safer.

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## killramos

Yea I’m thinking more of an occasional works in a pinch option without being overtly unsafe for a baby.

----------


## 90_Shelby

> I’ve got a question for people for their opinions around car seats. Any life hacks to getting around the sheer depth that rear facing car seats take up? Recommendations for ones that take up less space?
> 
> We have a Nuna Pipa and it’s great for day to day, but even in the wife’s SUV my knees are touching the dash in front of it which kind of blows chunks... I’m considering what would happen in a car where space is even more constrained than her SUV.
> 
> It makes me consider if maybe a “permanent” install rear facing convertible would be more compact for occasional use, yea you can’t carry the baby around in it but it works and is still safe.
> 
> Anyway, very interested in any thoughts and elaboration.



Assuming your wife is smaller then you, put the car seat behind her or get a Trackhawk, problem solved.

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## killramos

Our pipa is fine for her Lexus, I can live with the fitment in there. My comment is more that it’s already tight in the SUV so how to accommodate something with less space. My though was are there any “compactish” rear facing convertibles that people have found or like.

I’m about as likely to buy a pornstar red track hawk as I am to move to Aspen. Or drive a Tesla. Or maybe a Kia.

----------


## dirtsniffer

The graco 4ever convertible was the best fit for my wifes former rogue. The diono is fucking massive when rear facing. Ironically, I'm now looking at it because it appears to fit much better forward facing.

----------


## suntan

Buy bigger SUV.

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## 88CRX

In for smaller car seat recommendations. This is one of the main reasons why we got the RDX rather then a Tacoma. Apparently these rear facing seats are just fucking massive. But we also need something that fits in the Fit.

----------


## riander5

> I’ve got a question for people for their opinions around car seats. Any life hacks to getting around the sheer depth that rear facing car seats take up? Recommendations for ones that take up less space?
> 
> We have a Nuna Pipa and it’s great for day to day, but even in the wife’s SUV my knees are touching the dash in front of it which kind of blows chunks... I’m considering what would happen in a car where space is even more constrained than her SUV.
> 
> It makes me consider if maybe a “permanent” install rear facing convertible would be more compact for occasional use, yea you can’t carry the baby around in it but it works and is still safe.
> 
> Anyway, very interested in any thoughts and elaboration.



What SUV? We have our kid right behind us in our Audi Q5 and I have quite a bit of room (6'0 tall for reference)

We had a Lexus IS250 which we sold as we never drove i can imagine my knees would be to my chin in that car.

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## killramos

We have an NX which is the usual baby hauler. I imagine similar to IS but maybe a bit bigger?

I’m not that tall and I definitely couldn’t open the glove compartment but it’s “fine”.

----------


## schurchill39

We have two Clek Fllo car seats, one in my wife's 2015 RDX and one in my F150. In the rear facing position you'd never notice it in the truck but in the RDX you definitely have to have the front seat quite a bit forward especially when its in the infant recline position. When you are able to adjust it up to the next weight class incline position it fits better in the RDX but we put it behind the passenger seat as my wife is only 5'6. 

My wife says for "compact" rear facing car seats check out the Nuna Rava, Cosco Scenera-Next, Graco Forever, or Graco Extend-to-Fit. Apparently we have a friend who drives a Mazda 3 and the only one that would fit rear facing is the Nuna Rava.

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## ThePenIsMightier

Rear facing seats suck grundel but it's only for about two years.

----------


## skandalouz_08

My wife is shorter than me so I always stuck the seat behind her and I drove. Now that we have 2 kids the forward facing seat is behind me and rear facing behind her. Always take my car since its bigger for family trips but ran into the same issue when I used to drive my Beamer and had no room for a car seat at all.

----------


## cars5431

> I’ve got a question for people for their opinions around car seats. Any life hacks to getting around the sheer depth that rear facing car seats take up? Recommendations for ones that take up less space?
> 
> We have a Nuna Pipa and it’s great for day to day, but even in the wife’s SUV my knees are touching the dash in front of it which kind of blows chunks... I’m considering what would happen in a car where space is even more constrained than her SUV.
> 
> It makes me consider if maybe a “permanent” install rear facing convertible would be more compact for occasional use, yea you can’t carry the baby around in it but it works and is still safe.
> 
> Anyway, very interested in any thoughts and elaboration.



We have a diono and if you use the angle adjuster for rear facing makes a difference of couple inches of space for seats. In my wife’s Kia and for one I have in my bmw allows for seat not to be right to the front. Other trick if vehicle allows is to put in middle and buckets from front fits between perfectly. https://www.westcoastkids.ca/radian-...ngle-adjuster#

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## Misterman

> I guess we got lucky, ours has been sleeping through the night since he was about 5 weeks
> 
> We must be bad parents by not waking him exactly every 3 hours to feed him and only feeding him when he's hungry



Maybe lucky, or maybe just way overfeeding with formula before bedtime? A lot of parents do the overfeeding on purpose to make the kid sleep. But a bottle makes it very easy to overfeed accidentally since they flow so fast. Everyone does what they have to for their sanity. I've learned to live with completely broken sleep the last 8 months, if he goes a 5 hour stretch it's heaven. 






> Agree with sleep training! For us, sleep training happened at 4 months and it went amazing. We did it from a book called "the happy sleeper", and it took all of 1 night and he's been great since then. Routine was huge, weaning a soother was huge, and empowering him to self soothe helped him sleep through the night with nearly no issues. I never understand why people don't sleep train, I have friends that don't and I'm all feeling rested over here



Because of the studies surrounding it. I don't judge, everyone should raise their kids how they see fit. For us personally we decided that with the overwhelming evidence on the subject, that we were not going to sleep train. "Self Soothe" is the term people always use, but they don't really soothe per se. They just learn that if they cry, nobody comes. It's a good way to break a trust bond with the child right away, which is something that can be beneficial to have later in life when they need questions answered about sex, drugs, relationships, religion, etc. But it's not like sleep trained babies are growing up to be serial killers, so I'm sure it's not the end of the world, or maybe no big deal at all. 

It's a conversation I don't like having with people, because they tend to take it personally if they sleep trained. As a sleep deprived parent, I completely understand why someone would sleep train, and certainly have no judgement or malice towards them about what they chose to do. 

And Canada is weird. They are very against co-sleeping for reasons of potentially rolling on your baby and killing it or something? Meanwhile SIDS is WAY more common in babies that crib sleep. Japan exclusively co-sleeps and has the lowest SIDS in the world last I read. 





> I’ve got a question for people for their opinions around car seats. Any life hacks to getting around the sheer depth that rear facing car seats take up? Recommendations for ones that take up less space?
> 
> We have a Nuna Pipa and it’s great for day to day, but even in the wife’s SUV my knees are touching the dash in front of it which kind of blows chunks... I’m considering what would happen in a car where space is even more constrained than her SUV.
> 
> It makes me consider if maybe a “permanent” install rear facing convertible would be more compact for occasional use, yea you can’t carry the baby around in it but it works and is still safe.
> 
> Anyway, very interested in any thoughts and elaboration.



It would be a pain in the ass, but you could always ditch the base and just buckle the seat itself in. Some are rated to do that. I don't know what other option there is if leg space is a super premium? Buy a Yukon XL maybe? Ours is a pain in the ass too. We did just switch to a convertible awhile ago, and it is better at least.

----------


## Misterman

Biggest mistake we made was trying to be super prepared and buy everything in advance. You find out that half the stuff you bought the kid doesn't like or doesn't have any value. We got the Halo Basinet, kid ended up being a contact sleeper. Got the fancy Owlet baby camera monitor system, but a camera was no use to us when we realized we were going to be doing co-sleeping. Got the Momaroo swing because of it's great reviews, turns out it is an epic piece of junk that the kid hated and seems to be the same thing we hear from lots of other parents. 

One thing I'm a huge advocate for, is identifying tongue tie!! Our kid was checked in the hospital by the Pede, and told no tongue tie. Wifes nipples were getting tore to shit, and we saw 4 different Lactation Consultants in the hospital while we were locked there. Not a single one of them ever considered there was an issue with the kid, they just kept telling the wife she was breastfeeding wrong. By week 6 when the kids weight was dropping percentiles on the chart, he would feed for half hour on each tit, would not sleep longer than 2 hour stretches maximum, could not be put down ever. We decided we were done dealing with public healthcare. Got a private LC that we paid for, she immediately diagnosed the tongue tie, we booked in to get it lasered, and never had a problem since. His weight jumped back up to where it should be, he drains a tit in like 5 minutes now, he can sleep without laying directly on my chest, and the wife isn't losing her mind with how hard breastfeeding is. 

I think most people(myself included) think that a tongue tie is when the front of the tongue is tied down. But a tongue tie can be just 50% length of the tongue underneath, and cause massive issues. Not just with feeding either. They're starting to find out that this can cause sleep apnea later in life, wisdom teeth issues, and a host of other problems. The hospitals don't seem to care enough to pick up on this, because if the baby doesn't gain weight, they can just tell you to switch to bottle feeding and problem is solved.

----------


## sabad66

> I’ve got a question for people for their opinions around car seats. Any life hacks to getting around the sheer depth that rear facing car seats take up? Recommendations for ones that take up less space?
> 
> We have a Nuna Pipa and it’s great for day to day, but even in the wife’s SUV my knees are touching the dash in front of it which kind of blows chunks... I’m considering what would happen in a car where space is even more constrained than her SUV.
> 
> It makes me consider if maybe a “permanent” install rear facing convertible would be more compact for occasional use, yea you can’t carry the baby around in it but it works and is still safe.
> 
> Anyway, very interested in any thoughts and elaboration.



We used the angle adjuster on our Diono with rear facing and it definitely helped a bit, but even then it was still always relatively uncomfortable sitting in the front passenger seat (Q5). Ultimately we just lived with it and at about 11 months switched it to front facing. I know the recommendation is to leave it rear facing first two years and 'mandatory' for 1st year but our kids were pretty big around 11 months so we just did it.

----------


## bjstare

> I’ve got a question for people for their opinions around car seats. Any life hacks to getting around the sheer depth that rear facing car seats take up? Recommendations for ones that take up less space?
> 
> We have a Nuna Pipa and it’s great for day to day, but even in the wife’s SUV my knees are touching the dash in front of it which kind of blows chunks... I’m considering what would happen in a car where space is even more constrained than her SUV.
> 
> It makes me consider if maybe a “permanent” install rear facing convertible would be more compact for occasional use, yea you can’t carry the baby around in it but it works and is still safe.
> 
> Anyway, very interested in any thoughts and elaboration.



We have Diono convertible seats, and they are indeed humungous when rear-facing. We put the angle adjuster in for the extra couple inches room, but front seat still only comfortable for my 5'3" wife (which is fine, because I'm always the driver when we're both in the car). The Diono is great when front facing, but it is a pain in the dick to switch between cars and as mentioned is pretty heavy.

Here's a tidbit that I got from our resident baby gear expert when I asked what would be a good fit in RDX (on the small side for rear seat room). Only reason I didn't go with his recommendations and still went with the Diono is because it was on sale, we liked it front facing, and wife still fits when it was installed rear facing.




> Id recommend you look at either the Britax Essentials (Allegiance or Emblem) carseat or the Peg Perego 5-65 convertible. For the Britax, I prefer the Emblem model, as it has the reinforced side impact head support and is very similar to the Perego (side impact head support).
> 
> Both seats will accommodate up to 65 lbs or 49" forward facing. Both have steel reinforcement in the chassis. Both have similar widths. Both install either with UAS or seatbelt. The Britax is slightly less deep though rear facing, which will give you slightly more leg room up front. However, the Peg Perego does have many more colours to choose from, including some leatherettes which are much nicer to look at vs the Britax which is pretty blatantly "fun kid design". Personal choice, I like stuff that doesnt stick out. Aside from nicer upholstery quality on the perego, the build quality for both is very similar and should hold up to 4-5 years or wear and tear if you maintain it somewhat regularly, ie. take it apart and wash it according to manufacturer instructions a couple times a year or if theres puke/major spill.

----------


## killramos

I can basically confirm that a Yukon XL fixes the issue haha, but seems like a ridiculous solution to the problem. The removing the base and trying only with the seatbelt sounds intriguing to me, fortunately my pipa supports that.

Might be something I will try over the lunch hour to see the relative difference to installing with the base.

I am trying to avoid basically doing what Sabad suggested, but its not out of the consideration for the use case I am contemplating. If I have to pickup a convertible a bit earlier than we originally contemplated that doesn't really bother me. Unfortunately our daughter is really quite small ( 15th percentile for weight but 50th for length ) so pushing her into the next level of seat seems like an unrealistic plan.

----------


## RX_EVOLV

Nothing to add beside confirming that those rear facing seats do take up ALOT of room and our solutionwas just to get a bigger car. We have the Dionos in all our cars and it just barely fits in the X5 and Cayenne without having to adjust the front seat forward. 

In my wife's old GLK the front seat had to be pushed all the way forward to that point that I could barely sit in it my myself and I'm only 5'10.  We got another one to put into my inlaw's S550 and even that barely fit without having to really put the front seat back. I can't imagine the Diono in rear-facing form fitting in any cars like A4, Mazda3, etc... without completely sacrificing the front passenger seat. 

That said, the Diono is bulky but skinny. We were able to go on long road trips with 4 adults (2 front 2 back) + the car seat in the X5. I think it's designed so that you can have 3 across if you really wanted to.

----------


## sabad66

> ]Because of the studies surrounding it. I don't judge, everyone should raise their kids how they see fit. For us personally we decided that with the overwhelming evidence on the subject, that we were not going to sleep train. "Self Soothe" is the term people always use, but they don't really soothe per se. They just learn that if they cry, nobody comes. It's a good way to break a trust bond with the child right away, which is something that can be beneficial to have later in life when they need questions answered about sex, drugs, relationships, religion, etc. But it's not like sleep trained babies are growing up to be serial killers, so I'm sure it's not the end of the world, or maybe no big deal at all. 
> 
> It's a conversation I don't like having with people, because they tend to take it personally if they sleep trained. As a sleep deprived parent, I completely understand why someone would sleep train, and certainly have no judgement or malice towards them about what they chose to do. 
> 
> And Canada is weird. They are very against co-sleeping for reasons of potentially rolling on your baby and killing it or something? Meanwhile SIDS is WAY more common in babies that crib sleep. Japan exclusively co-sleeps and has the lowest SIDS in the world last I read.



This is pretty much my wife and mine's train of thought. My parents were FOB and poor as hell so i co-slept with my mom and brother in a big bed until probably around 3 or 4 years old while dad slept in another bed. Wife was similar growing up in Lebanon so that probably influenced us too. 

Definitely a lot of crankyness due to sleep deprivation the first 8 months or so doing it this way but it gets better. Son is now 3.5 and he mostly sleeps through the night in his own bed but if he wakes up from a nightmare and comes into our bed we just let it happen, not a big deal. Our daughter sleeps from 8-6AM and again if she happens to wake up screaming from teething or something one of us will go get her and let her finish the night in our bed between us.

Sleep training for sure sounds like a dream and i applaud parents that can do it, but it doesn't mean you failed if you take a different approach. Just do whatever works and always keep it in the back of your mind it gets better.

----------


## rage2

I used this guy for rear facing infant seat back in the day.

https://ca.pegperego.com/baby/primo-viaggio-4-35

Was the smallest one I found. Fit nicely in the back of both the C63 BS and RC-F. It removes easily to carry the baby around.

----------


## riander5

> We have an NX which is the usual baby hauler. I imagine similar to IS but maybe a bit bigger?
> 
> Im not that tall and I definitely couldnt open the glove compartment but its fine.



Yea those NX's look pretty small... akin to a Q3 inside id imagine. I bet an RX350 wouldn't have the same issues. List the NX for sale with your truck, package deal. RX350 and.... new C63 incoming i imagine for you!

----------


## haggis88

> Maybe lucky, or maybe just way overfeeding with formula before bedtime? A lot of parents do the overfeeding on purpose to make the kid sleep. But a bottle makes it very easy to overfeed accidentally since they flow so fast. Everyone does what they have to for their sanity. I've learned to live with completely broken sleep the last 8 months, if he goes a 5 hour stretch it's heaven



Nope, he's breast and supplemented with formula for lunch usually. Basically as soon as we got his tongue tie fixed he's been a dream, with the exception of him already having 6 teeth through before he was 6 months!




> We used the angle adjuster on our Diono with rear facing and it definitely helped a bit, but even then it was still always relatively uncomfortable sitting in the front passenger seat (Q5). Ultimately we just lived with it and at about 11 months switched it to front facing. I know the recommendation is to leave it rear facing first two years and 'mandatory' for 1st year but our kids were pretty big around 11 months so we just did it.



Our Safety1st didn't even fit in the Ecosport, which was annoying as the back seats seemed huge for such a small car when we first got it...which i'm thinking was mostly due to the roof height rather than the legroom




> I can basically confirm that a Yukon XL fixes the issue haha, but seems like a ridiculous solution to the problem



And this, Expedition Max worked for us nicely, and with 2 dogs soon to be 150lbs each, the extra trunk space will be nice  :Smilie:

----------


## bjstare

> Yea those NX's look pretty small... akin to a Q3 inside id imagine. I bet an RX350 wouldn't have the same issues. List the NX for sale with your truck, package deal. RX350 and.... new C63 incoming i imagine for you!



Despite the RX350 being (appearing?) quite a bit bigger than the NX, the actual increase in interior and cargo space is marginal. NX is quite a bit bigger inside than the Q3 IIRC.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

There is *now* a long RX350-L.
OmG stop getting me triggered on the Diono car seats! They are heavy enough to impact the tidal waters in the Atlantic.

----------


## killramos

> Yea those NX's look pretty small... akin to a Q3 inside id imagine. I bet an RX350 wouldn't have the same issues. List the NX for sale with your truck, package deal. RX350 and.... new C63 incoming i imagine for you!



We actually really like the NX for all its flaws. Might even keep it after the cheap lease is up.

I haven’t decided if I am buying a new car yet. Need to figure out if I can sometimes fit the baby seat in the back of something I actually want  :ROFL!:

----------


## A2VR6

> In for smaller car seat recommendations. This is one of the main reasons why we got the RDX rather then a Tacoma. Apparently these rear facing seats are just fucking massive. But we also need something that fits in the Fit.



We used the Pipa in a rear facing configuration for my daugther and we were mainly using my wifes 2013 Fit. We managed to squeeze in everything and have enough room for my wife (5'6") be able to sit in the front passenger seat. No way I could fit however haha.

----------


## bjstare

> We actually really like the NX for all its flaws. Might even keep it after the cheap lease is up.
> 
> I haven’t decided if I am buying a new car yet. Need to figure out if I can sometimes fit the baby seat in the back of something I actually want



Buy a car2go AMG like I did. It is so much fun, and works for families/carseats.. definitely more than enough while you only have one kid. I'm sure 
@rage2
 and 
@Buster
 would endorse as well.

----------


## CLiVE

> I used this guy for rear facing infant seat back in the day.
> 
> https://ca.pegperego.com/baby/primo-viaggio-4-35
> 
> Was the smallest one I found. Fit nicely in the back of both the C63 BS and RC-F. It removes easily to carry the baby around.



Same - this worked for us in both our MINI and 3-series at the time.

----------


## rage2

> Same - this worked for us in both our MINI and 3-series at the time.



Forgot to add, get multiple bases. Worth every dollar.

----------


## rage2

> Buy a car2go AMG like I did. It is so much fun, and works for families/carseats.. definitely more than enough while you only have one kid. I'm sure 
> @rage2
>  and 
> @Buster
>  would endorse as well.



Yup. Family of 5, camping trip, roof rack. Unbelievable how well that car works. Just wished it wasn't so damn laggy haha.

Have to go bling and get the AMG seats or you lose 1-2 inches of rear knee room.

----------


## haggis88

I friggin love the A Class AMG, but the wife wouldn't let us buy something so "low and car like"

I had to get a B-Class in the UK cos the ML was a pig to road tax and fuel and the C-Class was too "low and car like"

"Happy wife, happy life, boring car"

----------


## Misterman

> We actually really like the NX for all its flaws. Might even keep it after the cheap lease is up.
> 
> I haven’t decided if I am buying a new car yet. Need to figure out if I can sometimes fit the baby seat in the back of something I actually want



Other than horridly garbage bluetooth in the Lexus', I love the NX. Still considering getting one when we are done with the Merc. Because the NX has that adjustable bench seat in the back, I think it actually has a lot better rear leg room than say the Audi Q3/5 or GLK, etc. 

Just to stay on topic of baby stuff. I hear everyone talk about the Diono as the cadilac of car seats. But if you ever have to have multiple car seats at once, the Clek is the narrowest on the market from what I read. We went with the Clek Foonf because it provides the most room in the car. Plus it is Canadian company which is nice. Because of our kids weight currently, it is supposed to be at its greatest incline position, which still gives us more front seat room than the UppaBaby infant seat we had. But once he is a little heavier, we can lean the car seat farther forward(toward the rear since it is rear facing for now), and it will free up even more room in the front seat.

----------


## TurboMedic

> Because of the studies surrounding it. I don't judge, everyone should raise their kids how they see fit. For us personally we decided that with the overwhelming evidence on the subject, that we were not going to sleep train. "Self Soothe" is the term people always use, but they don't really soothe per se. They just learn that if they cry, nobody comes. It's a good way to break a trust bond with the child right away, which is something that can be beneficial to have later in life when they need questions answered about sex, drugs, relationships, religion, etc. But it's not like sleep trained babies are growing up to be serial killers, so I'm sure it's not the end of the world, or maybe no big deal at all. 
> 
> It's a conversation I don't like having with people, because they tend to take it personally if they sleep trained. As a sleep deprived parent, I completely understand why someone would sleep train, and certainly have no judgement or malice towards them about what they chose to do. 
> 
> And Canada is weird. They are very against co-sleeping for reasons of potentially rolling on your baby and killing it or something? Meanwhile SIDS is WAY more common in babies that crib sleep. Japan exclusively co-sleeps and has the lowest SIDS in the world last I read.



I'm not going to judge you if you chose to do that because it worked for you, if your kid didn't sleep comfortably on his own, or didn't settle, or whatever, but don't frame it as its detrimental to the kids who sleep trained with no issue, that's why people take it personally. I don't sit here and say your kid is going to become snowflake soft because you coddled him to sleep, so why would you say my kid is going to have trust issues? This is the problem with the non sleep training group, they claim some bizarre thing about maladjusted kids because of detachment syndromes because they sleep in their own bed? I'm sure the evidence is well supported in some helicopter parent groups, where the groupthink is the same. My kid, at 5 months, knows when its bedtime, get read a story, listens to some lullabies, get heavy eyes and blinks, gets placed in his crib BEFORE he is asleep so he doesn't wake up confused and feeling abandoned because he knows he was there before he fell asleep, and sleeps fine through the night. He's happy as shit all day long, plays, trusts, eats, learns, etc. This took no time, and virtually no effort, with no cruelty, no "letting him cry endlessly until he figures it out". 

I'd love to see these "studies" you're referencing. Allow me to do some of the work for you

https://pediatrics.aappublications.o...37/6/e20151486

https://pediatrics.aappublications.o...tent/130/4/643

----------


## ExtraSlow

All I know is that everyone you talk to did it the right way, and "knows" that other ways will be worse in some major way. Fuck that attitude.

----------


## TurboMedic

> All I know is that everyone you talk to did it the right way, and "knows" that other ways will be worse in some major way. Fuck that attitude.



That's all I'm saying. If my friends don't want to sleep train, great! Don't! But don't come up with a bunch of fake later in life findings to make it seem like you're doing your kid a favor, that in turn are a backhanded jab at those that sleep trained. Your teens trust in you is more a product of their experiences from parenting and guidance in their more mentally conscious years than at a few months of age laying in their crib. This works for me because I like sleep too  :Burn Out:

----------


## RX_EVOLV

> Other than horridly garbage bluetooth in the Lexus', I love the NX. Still considering getting one when we are done with the Merc. Because the NX has that adjustable bench seat in the back, I think it actually has a lot better rear leg room than say the Audi Q3/5 or GLK, etc. 
> 
> Just to stay on topic of baby stuff. I hear everyone talk about the Diono as the cadilac of car seats. But if you ever have to have multiple car seats at once, the Clek is the narrowest on the market from what I read. We went with the Clek Foonf because it provides the most room in the car. Plus it is Canadian company which is nice. Because of our kids weight currently, it is supposed to be at its greatest incline position, which still gives us more front seat room than the UppaBaby infant seat we had. But once he is a little heavier, we can lean the car seat farther forward(toward the rear since it is rear facing for now), and it will free up even more room in the front seat.



My parents had a '16 NX and that touch-pad infotainment alone is a complete deal breaker for me. It doe shave more room in the old GLK but less room than the new GLC. All said, it's a good car for the price. They got the F sport Series 3 with pre-paid maintenance and extended warranty for <$60K. That seems like good value.

I didn't think Diono is consider higher end is it? or maybe it's because we got all of ours onsale for 30-50% off, including one when from katz kidz when they were closing. I originally wanted the Clek Foonf but wife doens't want to spend that much on it... then she wanted the Uppababy Knox and i definitly dont want to spend that much. So Diono at ~ $250 seemed like a great deal

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

Diono is considered "higher end" and I do believe they are also a Canadian company.
I hated mine but was pleased to get a great price for it when I sold it.

*In before some Aspen shit-dick rattles off 5 car seats that cost more. I didn't say it was a custom Rolls Royce.

----------


## sabad66

I got both my Dionos for under 275 each. One at toys r us when they had a wicked sale, and the other at kacz kids when they closed down. So I guess that’s a parenting tip - keep an eye out for sales while you’re still using the newborn seats during first 6 months or so, then buy ASAP if you see a good deal on a higher end convertible.

Edit: well look at that, one of the models is on sale now at toys r us for $280. This is one of the better ones too with the head support
https://www.babiesrus.ca/en/Diono-ra.../8C113808.html

----------


## Misterman

> I'm not going to judge you if you chose to do that because it worked for you, if your kid didn't sleep comfortably on his own, or didn't settle, or whatever, but don't frame it as its detrimental to the kids who sleep trained with no issue, that's why people take it personally. I don't sit here and say your kid is going to become snowflake soft because you coddled him to sleep, so why would you say my kid is going to have trust issues? This is the problem with the non sleep training group, they claim some bizarre thing about maladjusted kids because of detachment syndromes because they sleep in their own bed? I'm sure the evidence is well supported in some helicopter parent groups, where the groupthink is the same. My kid, at 5 months, knows when its bedtime, get read a story, listens to some lullabies, get heavy eyes and blinks, gets placed in his crib BEFORE he is asleep so he doesn't wake up confused and feeling abandoned because he knows he was there before he fell asleep, and sleeps fine through the night. He's happy as shit all day long, plays, trusts, eats, learns, etc. This took no time, and virtually no effort, with no cruelty, no "letting him cry endlessly until he figures it out". 
> 
> I'd love to see these "studies" you're referencing. Allow me to do some of the work for you
> 
> https://pediatrics.aappublications.o...37/6/e20151486
> 
> https://pediatrics.aappublications.o...tent/130/4/643



I didn't frame it any certain way. Someone asked(rather rudely too, insinuating you're stupid if you don't sleep train), and I responded with why someone might choose not to. I was even very clear about the fact that both ways are fine, and tried to be as straight forward as I could that it wasn't from a judgemental place. But I see you've chosen to be offended by it regardless. I'm sure whatever you do to raise your kid will be just fine, so stay focused on that and don't worry about anything else. Good luck. 






> All I know is that everyone you talk to did it the right way, and "knows" that other ways will be worse in some major way. Fuck that attitude.



Pretty much this. As witnessed above.

- - - Updated - - -




> My parents had a '16 NX and that touch-pad infotainment alone is a complete deal breaker for me. It doe shave more room in the old GLK but less room than the new GLC. All said, it's a good car for the price. They got the F sport Series 3 with pre-paid maintenance and extended warranty for <$60K. That seems like good value.
> 
> I didn't think Diono is consider higher end is it? or maybe it's because we got all of ours onsale for 30-50% off, including one when from katz kidz when they were closing. I originally wanted the Clek Foonf but wife doens't want to spend that much on it... then she wanted the Uppababy Knox and i definitly dont want to spend that much. So Diono at ~ $250 seemed like a great deal



I thought those Diono's were up there price wise like the clek and uppababy? Like 600$ range. We just saw how big they are and it was no way we could go that route.

----------


## TurboMedic

> I didn't frame it any certain way. Someone asked(rather rudely too, insinuating you're stupid if you don't sleep train), and I responded with why someone might choose not to. I was even very clear about the fact that both ways are fine, and tried to be as straight forward as I could that it wasn't from a judgemental place. But I see you've chosen to be offended by it regardless. I'm sure whatever you do to raise your kid will be just fine, so stay focused on that and don't worry about anything else. Good luck. 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pretty much this. As witnessed above.



Still waiting for your studies. You said you had some

----------


## killramos

i think there is a separate thread somewhere for arguing about whether pop ruins your kids

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

Which sleep training camp makes you want to put your infant on the kitchen counter?
Pro or Anti?

Does one of those make you tell stories to First Aid classes?
I bet it does...

*Asking for 
@SKR

----------


## ExtraSlow

you forgot #sorrynotsorry

----------


## killramos

Figured I’d rather not start a new thread….

Anyone have any insights on different “standards” for car seats and how quickly we expect new designs to show up in Canada?

Getting close to needing a couple new car seats for the baby, so I have been browsing around and got myself kind of psyched for a seat that I later realized isn’t available in Canada…

https://nunababy.com/uk/catalog/prod...olor_ref=16366

The ability to rotate the seat in place for strapping in and out with good secure latch anchors seemed like a huge win to me?

Any idea on when I could expect these new systems to show up in Canuckistan or is it best not waiting around?

I probably don’t really NEED a new seat for 2-3 months but could transition any time. My hope was to start shopping for one in a couple weeks after my new car lands.

----------


## bjstare

I wouldn’t hold your breath.

The rotating thing has been around long before nuna did it, but I don’t think any of them are certified in Canada. 

Fwiw we’ve been happy with our diono seats. They weigh 7 tons, but if you aren’t switching the seat between cars, it’s irrelevant. They’re monsters when rear facing, but some of the most compact (width and depth) once you spin them forward.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> I wouldnt hold your breath.
> 
> The rotating thing has been around long before nuna did it, but I dont think any of them are certified in Canada. 
> 
> Fwiw weve been happy with our diono seats. They weigh 7 tons, but if you arent switching the seat between cars, its irrelevant. Theyre monsters when rear facing, but some of the most compact (width and depth) once you spin them forward.



x2 sort of. Their weight is truly ludicrous and you must never take them on a plane. The baggage throwers will break a new portion of them on every flight - without fail.

----------


## bjstare

> x2 sort of. Their weight is truly ludicrous and you must never take them on a plane. The baggage throwers will break a new portion of them on every flight - without fail.



You must have bad luck haha. We’ve flown with ours a few times, no issues so far!

----------


## killramos

I’ll look into the Diono.

As long as it is t so massive as to make the front passenger seat useless I am pretty open minded.

----------


## ExtraSlow

My advice was buy shitty graco from Walmart. Get the shitty graco stroller and the shitty graco bases and you are set.

----------


## Strider

> I’ll look into the Diono.
> 
> As long as it is t so massive as to make the front passenger seat useless I am pretty open minded.



Diono makes the front passenger seat only suitable for 5'1" wife in an X3 (that's already using the angle adjuster). Not sure how it'll fare in an X5.

----------


## bjstare

My wife is 5’3” and fits in the front in our rdx with the angle adjuster. Unless your wife is tall, she’ll be ok in an x5.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

Rear facing Diono and front facing ain't the same fuckin sport.

----------


## spikerS

> My advice was buy shitty graco from Walmart. Get the shitty graco stroller and the shitty graco bases and you are set.



truth.

----------


## RX_EVOLV

> Diono makes the front passenger seat only suitable for 5'1" wife in an X3 (that's already using the angle adjuster). Not sure how it'll fare in an X5.



We had the massive Diono 3RXT rear facing in our X5 with no issues. Didn't have to adjust the front seat at all.

----------


## JordanLotoski

Don't ever under any circumstances let your child (daughter) near a barn nor horse.....If you do kiss your extra money goodbye

----------


## Strider

> We had the massive Diono 3RXT rear facing in our X5 with no issues. Didn't have to adjust the front seat at all.



Sounds like I need to switch up to an X5 winter beater.

----------


## Tik-Tok

> Don't ever under any circumstances let your child (daughter) near a barn nor horse.....If you do kiss your extra money goodbye



Sounds like a great winter beater though.

----------


## XylathaneGTR

> My advice was buy shitty graco from Walmart. Get the shitty graco stroller and the shitty graco bases and you are set.



That's what I did...workin' out so far.

----------


## chongkee_

> Don't ever under any circumstances let your child (daughter) near a barn nor horse.....If you do kiss your extra money goodbye



LOL.
Worked with a guy almost a decade ago that said the exact same thing and why he tries not to have people come over to his acreage with their kids.

----------


## vengie

> LOL.
> Worked with a guy almost a decade ago that said the exact same thing and why he tries not to have people come over to his acreage with their kids.



Buddy of mine just bought two horse for his daughters.

Officially never going over there ever again.

----------


## suntan

> Don't ever under any circumstances let your child (daughter) near a barn nor horse.....If you do kiss your extra money goodbye



It's only costing me over $600 month for my youngest's horse lessons.

----------


## Kloubek

> It's only costing me over $600 month for my youngest's horse lessons.



For what it's worth, all-in, we pay a similar monthly amount for our son's hockey during the active season.

Recreation is expensive, yo.

----------


## suntan

True dat!

For Lotoski it's paid off forever with like 1/5 of a house sale  :ROFL!:

----------


## mr2mike

Horses will end your savings.

----------


## vengie

> Horses and boats will end your savings.



Fixt

----------


## suntan

Luckily not whores and cocaine.

----------


## JordanLotoski

> It's only costing me over $600 month for my youngest's horse lessons.



Hahaha, welcome to the beginning of what's going to be a very long financial nightmare

I started that way as well...Now I own a beast of a show jumping horse that costs more then alot of luxury cars, My monthly board and vet bills run about 2k a month- that does include her trainer though

Keeps her out of trouble, but its pricey

----------


## killramos

I think trouble would be cheaper…

----------


## JordanLotoski

Take a good look boys and run




- - - Updated - - -




> I think trouble would be cheaper…



haha lets assume it cost me 30k a year for the house- after tax dollars

she gets into some trouble once over 5 years that costs me 50k

5x30k= 150,000 - trouble @ 50k = 100k Up

Up trouble is cheaper

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

I know someone who claims to enjoy owning horses. He owns a boat at one of his vacation properties that cost more than my house.
I know another person who owns a horse. I think she is literally on AISH. 

Help spot the idiot.

----------


## ExtraSlow

If my kids start talking about horses I'm just going to get them into crime.

----------


## killramos

Yea most people I know with horses are hilariously insolvent.

The common denominator is obvious.

----------


## suntan

> I know someone who claims to enjoy owning horses. He owns a boat at one of his vacation properties that cost more than my house.
> I know another person who owns a horse. I think she is literally on AISH. 
> 
> Help spot the idiot.



The Alberta government?

----------


## npham

> Ill look into the Diono.
> 
> As long as it is t so massive as to make the front passenger seat useless I am pretty open minded.



We have a Clek Foonf and Fllo. Canadian-made, heavy-duty/overkill, stylish, etc. They are having 15% off Black Friday right now on some styles.

----------


## haggis88

We've entered a new phase now at 15 months where he'll just scream bloody murder if he doesn't get his own way.

Decided now that he doesn't want to sleep, so when he gets put in his bed it's literal top of the lungs screaming for 20 mins before he nods off

So that's awesome

----------


## JfuckinC

> We've entered a new phase now at 15 months where he'll just scream bloody murder if he doesn't get his own way.
> 
> Decided now that he doesn't want to sleep, so when he gets put in his bed it's literal top of the lungs screaming for 20 mins before he nods off
> 
> So that's awesome



haha 15 months checking in, wants to sweep the floor for an hour straight, don't try and take the broom or she'll snap... if only it was useful sweeping

----------


## haggis88

> haha 15 months checking in, wants to sweep the floor for an hour straight, don't try and take the broom or she'll snap... if only it was useful sweeping



Wish he would take a broom haha! He uses the fly swatter and tries to beat the cat up with it

I've let the cat react and bite him and he just laughs at it...sadistic little shit

----------


## G

> For what it's worth, all-in, we pay a similar monthly amount for our son's hockey during the active season.
> 
> Recreation is expensive, yo.



Your son in elite hockey?

----------


## you&me

> We have a Clek Foonf and Fllo. Canadian-made, heavy-duty/overkill, stylish, etc. They are having 15% off Black Friday right now on some styles.



We have the Foonf as well and would recommend...

----------


## rage2

> We've entered a new phase now at 15 months where he'll just scream bloody murder if he doesn't get his own way.
> 
> Decided now that he doesn't want to sleep, so when he gets put in his bed it's literal top of the lungs screaming for 20 mins before he nods off
> 
> So that's awesome



That’s like 5 songs with noise cancelling headphones. Or 2 freebirds. Easy shit!

----------


## ExtraSlow

20 minutes? Fuck that's easy mode.

----------


## schurchill39

> Decided now that he doesn't want to sleep, so when he gets put in his bed it's literal top of the lungs screaming for 20 mins before he nods off



My daughter is going through 2 weeks of this now where she also rips off her sleep sack and onsie while she's screaming so after she falls asleep we need to go back in and carefully get her dressed again.

----------


## suntan

Did I mention that we went full hippy with the second one? And then one day she said "You don't have to sleep here anymore" and that was that?

----------


## killramos

> Did I mention that we went full hippy with the second one? And then one day she said "You don't have to sleep here anymore" and that was that?



It was just a bit weird that you waited until she was 17 for her to say that…

----------


## suntan

17 months? Yes.

----------


## Tik-Tok

> Did I mention that we went full hippy with the second one? And then one day she said "You don't have to sleep here anymore" and that was that?



She said that to you, or your kid?

----------


## suntan

She being my child.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> She being my child.



Was this in the Shareholders' Agreement? Because no one understands what the fuck you're not trying to unsay!

----------


## suntan

God you’re fucking annoying.

----------


## haggis88

> That’s like 5 songs with noise cancelling headphones. Or 2 freebirds. Easy shit!



Not baller enough to have noise cancelling headphones  :ROFL!: 

I'll need to take out a Flexiti card to get some when they re-instate my US Work Permit though, cos I'll be flying a lot

----------


## you&me

My kids are well past diapers, but for some reason I thought of this earlier today thought to share... 

I hate to admit, but it took us longer than it maybe should have to realize that infant onesies are designed to be pulled off the shoulder and _down_, in case of a blow out... Sorry about that, eldest child...

----------


## ExtraSlow

you stroller guys: https://www.bestbuy.ca/en-ca/product...llion/13506655 Sale for $349

----------


## CLiVE

> May sound silly but I have literally no idea what to do/expect, just looking for advice haha



It will quickly become apparent.  :facepalm:  Start working on horrible puns / dad jokes, and go with the flow. Every kid is different.

----------


## ?????

> Figured Id rather not start a new thread.
> 
> Anyone have any insights on different standards for car seats and how quickly we expect new designs to show up in Canada?
> 
> Getting close to needing a couple new car seats for the baby, so I have been browsing around and got myself kind of psyched for a seat that I later realized isnt available in Canada
> 
> https://nunababy.com/uk/catalog/prod...olor_ref=16366
> 
> The ability to rotate the seat in place for strapping in and out with good secure latch anchors seemed like a huge win to me?
> ...






> Ill look into the Diono.
> 
> As long as it is t so massive as to make the front passenger seat useless I am pretty open minded.



Seen this at babies r us today.

https://www.babiesrus.ca/en/Evenflo-.../C4DAE958.html

But if you want non bulky, Diono is probably the way to go. Diono will be longer when rear facing for the first bit.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Have the greatest Christmas present ever for a little kid. Adding machines. The noise and the paper is a hell of a sensory party for the littles. Free, PM me. Can trash or re-gift in 2-3 months when the sound drives you insane.

----------


## R-Audi

> Have the greatest Christmas present ever for a little kid. Adding machines. The noise and the paper is a hell of a sensory party for the littles. Free, PM me. Can trash or re-gift in 2-3 months when the sound drives you insane.



Reminds me of when my Wifes Aunt gave us a bag of random stuff for the plane, including several rolls of masking tape. Her suggestion was to give them the tape and let them run wild as it will keep them occupied for a very long time sticking it to everything. (and fairly easy to clean up)

----------


## ExtraSlow

> Reminds me of when my Wifes Aunt gave us a bag of random stuff for the plane, including several rolls of masking tape. Her suggestion was to give them the tape and let them run wild as it will keep them occupied for a very long time sticking it to everything. (and fairly easy to clean up)



For a really small kid, like under 1 years, their own box of kleenex is a nice present. They'll spend 45 minutes pulling them all out, stuffing them back in, whatever, and it's easy to tidy up afterwards. Great fun.

----------


## haggis88

> Reminds me of when my Wifes Aunt gave us a bag of random stuff for the plane, including several rolls of masking tape. Her suggestion was to give them the tape and let them run wild as it will keep them occupied for a very long time sticking it to everything. (and fairly easy to clean up)






> For a really small kid, like under 1 years, their own box of kleenex is a nice present. They'll spend 45 minutes pulling them all out, stuffing them back in, whatever, and it's easy to tidy up afterwards. Great fun.



Wow, kids are so like dogs huh! My Boxer was obsessed with kleenex and tape lol

I leave old remotes around now that mini me has realised that he can't have the actual tv remote.

He thinks the old remotes are forbidden fruit too so runs away giggling thinking he's got one over on you  :ROFL!:

----------


## JRSC00LUDE

> Seen this at babies r us today.
> 
> https://www.babiesrus.ca/en/Evenflo-.../C4DAE958.html
> 
> But if you want non bulky, Diono is probably the way to go. Diono will be longer when rear facing for the first bit.



 
@Buster

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

LoL at bringing several rolls of tape onto an airplane!
Don't forget a copy of the Quran and some box cutters.

----------


## killramos

> LoL at bringing several rolls of tape onto an airplane!
> Don't forget a copy of the Quran and some box cutters.



 :ROFL!: 

Seriously if you let your kids run wild with several rolls of tape on an airplane you are parenting wrong.

----------


## vengie

> I leave old remotes around now that mini me has realised that he can't have the actual tv remote.
> 
> He thinks the old remotes are forbidden fruit too so runs away giggling thinking he's got one over on you



Hah! We do the same thing

----------


## Buster

> @Buster



Bastard!

----------


## JfuckinC

> Seen this at babies r us today.
> 
> https://www.babiesrus.ca/en/Evenflo-.../C4DAE958.html
> 
> But if you want non bulky, Diono is probably the way to go. Diono will be longer when rear facing for the first bit.



i got that for my wife, she's preggo again and ramming a kid into a seat is annoying enough without a giant belly..

----------


## R-Audi

> Seriously if you “let your kids run wild” with several rolls of tape on an airplane you are parenting wrong.



A roll (or two) of tape will keep a 2-4yr old busy for quite some time...its not literally running around the plane taping things, but doing whatever they want with the tape while sitting in their seat. If that keeps a kid happy and quiet on a plane and considered 'parenting wrong' Im not sure what your expectations are.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Killys kids will sit silently with thier hands in their laps the entire flight.

----------


## bjstare

> A roll (or two) of tape will keep a 2-4yr old busy for quite some time...its not literally running around the plane taping things, but doing whatever they want with the tape while sitting in their seat. If that keeps a kid happy and quiet on a plane and considered 'parenting wrong' Im not sure what your expectations are.



Give him a break, his kid just isn't old enough yet for him to have an informed opinion  :ROFL!:

----------


## killramos

> A roll (or two) of tape will keep a 2-4yr old busy for quite some time...its not literally running around the plane taping things, but doing whatever they want with the tape while sitting in their seat. If that keeps a kid happy and quiet on a plane and considered 'parenting wrong' Im not sure what your expectations are.



I think letting your kid run around on an airplane with a hundred feet of sticky string is pretty ignorant yes.

I’m not sure what other way I am supposed to interpret “let your kids run wild on a plane with several rolls of tape”

----------


## Buster

> Killys kids will sit silently with thier hands in their laps the entire flight.



One of the kiddless peeps on beyond once said (without irony) that they have trained their dogs well, so when they have kids their kids will also behave.

It wasn't killy, but someone said it.

----------


## bjstare

> One of the kiddless peeps on beyond once said (without irony) that they have trained their dogs well, so when they have kids their kids will also behave.
> 
> It wasn't killy, but someone said it.



Be a man and tag them.

----------


## killramos

> Killys kids will sit silently with thier hands in their laps the entire flight.



My kid will not sit quietly on a flight. That’s why she is in Calgary  :ROFL!:

----------


## Buster

> Be a man and tag them.



I can't remember who it was!

----------


## R-Audi

> I think letting your kid run around on an airplane with a hundred feet of sticky string is pretty ignorant yes.
> 
> I’m not sure what other way I am supposed to interpret “let your kids run wild on a plane with several rolls of tape”




Ok.. so not LITERALLY running around the airplane.. perhaps go wild would fit your requirements. Either way, meant as hand them the tape in their seat and do whatever they want with it. Either way, keeps them quiet, occupied and entertained.

----------


## Tik-Tok

> Ok.. so not LITERALLY running around the airplane.. perhaps go wild would fit your requirements. Either way, meant as hand them the tape in their seat and do whatever they want with it. Either way, keeps them quiet, occupied and entertained.



Do you also stuff dirty diapers into the seat back? I mean why not, you aren't cleaning up the mess, right?

----------


## R-Audi

> Do you also stuff dirty diapers into the seat back? I mean why not, you aren't cleaning up the mess, right?



Not once did I say anything about not cleaning up whatever mess my kids had made, but yeah, go ahead and assume the worst. Clown.

----------


## bjstare

> Do you also stuff dirty diapers into the seat back? I mean why not, you aren't cleaning up the mess, right?



Wait, you _don't_ stuff your kids dirty diapers into the seatback?

----------


## Tik-Tok

> Not once did I say anything about not cleaning up whatever mess my kids had made, but yeah, go ahead and assume the worst. Clown.



I have to assume anyone letting their kids go crazy with a roll of tape on an airplane is also ignorant enough to do a half-assed job of cleaning up after them.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

Jesus Christ, you'd think this guy used the wrong pronouns at Lilith Fair 2021!! 
I'm pretty sure the kids tape books to a tray for 39 minutes of partially uninterrupted peace. Give him a break. I don't think he Upper Deckered the plane toilet and StinkFingered the flight attendant!
LoL!!

----------


## haggis88

i dealt with 2 hours of whining the other day and him not wanting to be entertained by anything

didn't have any masking tape, but did give him the box of kleenex

wife was raging when she got home and found us both asleep on the couch and the dog playing with the empty tissue box  :ROFL!:

----------


## Tik-Tok

> Jesus Christ, you'd think this guy used the wrong pronouns at Lilith Fair 2021!! 
> I'm pretty sure the kids tape books to a tray for 39 minutes of partially uninterrupted peace. Give him a break. I don't think he Upper Deckered the plane toilet and StinkFingered the flight attendant!
> LoL!!



If you've had to deal with the aftermath of a shitty parent on an airplane, you'd be sensitive about the subject matter too.

----------


## suntan

Ha ha I was on a flight once where a kid cried for the entire 3.5 hour flight.

----------


## bjstare

> Ha ha I was on a flight once where a kid cried for the entire 3.5 hour flight.



My kid once shrieked in ~5-10 min intervals on the red eye back from hawaii for 5 of the 6 hours.  :Pimpin':

----------


## ExtraSlow

Aside from losing containment of bodily fluids, there is nothing that kid can be doing that would offend me if they are being mostly quiet and happy. I'm sure flight attendant agrees.

----------


## killramos

> My kid once shrieked in ~5-10 min intervals on the red eye back from hawaii for 5 of the 6 hours.



The real way to win is to convince your stay at home wife to go up a few days prior and come home a few days after you with the kids.

Because work emergency or some nonsense.

Then bump yourself to the front and enjoy the trip.

She thinks she is winning getting a few extra days in Hawaii. She isnt.

----------


## ExtraSlow

> The real way to win is to convince your stay at home wife to go up a few days prior and come home a few days after you with the kids.
> 
> Because work emergency or some nonsense.
> 
> Then bump yourself to the front and enjoy the trip.
> 
> She thinks she is winning getting a few extra days in Hawaii. She isn’t.



You are wise beyond your years.

----------


## XylathaneGTR

> If you've had to deal with the aftermath of a shitty parent on an airplane, you'd be sensitive about the subject matter too.



ok Karen.

----------


## FraserB

> One of the kiddless peeps on beyond once said (without irony) that they have trained their dogs well, so when they have kids their kids will also behave.
> 
> It wasn't killy, but someone said it.



Up to a certain age, shouldnt it be very similar? Keep it fed, keep it mentally stimulated so it doesnt cause havoc around the house, teach it new things and teach it where to go to the washroom.

You could probably also have a kid root around in a box of crumpled newspaper for treats

----------


## bjstare

> The real way to win is to convince your stay at home wife to go up a few days prior and come home a few days after you with the kids.
> 
> Because work emergency or some nonsense.
> 
> Then bump yourself to the front and enjoy the trip.
> 
> She thinks she is winning getting a few extra days in Hawaii. She isn’t.



In theory that might work. We go there often enough that I have to bargain to get her there. i.e., my parents fly back here to fly down there with the kids and babysit them on the plane, and bump her to the front.

But, on the other hand, she knows how to use the thermostat and leave the HVAC in the car on auto. It all evens out in the end  :ROFL!:

----------


## killramos

We all make our sacrifices  :ROFL!:

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> ...
> 
> But, on the other hand, she knows how to use the thermostat and leave the HVAC in the car on auto. It all evens out in the end



Pics of wife using HVAC correctly, plz...

----------


## ercchry

> Pics of wife using HVAC correctly, plz...



Mine figured out how to use the programable thermostat… the complaining about the home temp sort of just stopped one day… found out why. I’ve gotta password protect it I guess  :ROFL!:

----------


## JfuckinC

Dad tip of the day - if your kid wakes up screaming and sweaty hold them pointing away from you....

----------


## 03ozwhip

> Dad tip of the day - if your kid wakes up screaming and sweaty hold them pointing away from you....



Oh fuck yea, them projectiles tho...Hopefully you didn't taste any of it lol

----------


## Buster

you guys are all suckers for having kids.

----------


## max_boost

> you guys are all suckers for having kids.



I’m only doing it if she’s hot and her family is rich. So it’s not gonna happen for me lol lol

----------


## JfuckinC

> Oh fuck yea, them projectiles tho...Hopefully you didn't taste any of it lol



i was a bystander lol wife's hair caught most of it, i cleaned the rest off the floor  :Barf:

----------


## 03ozwhip

> i was a bystander lol wife's hair caught most of it, i cleaned the rest off the floor



Faaaaa. Happened to me just as I was turning him around, got my arm, floor and couch. Burned the couch, sold the house.

----------


## killramos

> you guys are all suckers for having kids.



I mean. Yea

----------


## JRSC00LUDE

> Faaaaa. Happened to me just as I was turning him around, got my arm, floor and couch. Burned the couch, sold the house.



But you kept the wife?

----------


## 03ozwhip

> But you kept the wife?



If she was there, she wouldn't be now. She's lucky.

----------


## killramos

> Diono makes the front passenger seat only suitable for 5'1" wife in an X3 (that's already using the angle adjuster). Not sure how it'll fare in an X5.



So I spent some time trying seats yesterday.

Diono rear facing meant front seat all the way forward and seat back straight up in the X5, no bueno. Car seat sales chick was hilariously unhelpful, pretty sure they get kick backs to sell britax seats because that was the only thing she wanted to talk about. Completely glossed over availability of the angle adjuster so I never got to try the diono with it.

I think the Diono is what I want but I also dont want to own a seat that will make road trips unpalatable.

I did end up picking up a britax boulevard for the NX just because it was clear that the Diono was never going to be an option in that car.

My kid is only 18lb so we have a long road until forward facing is even an option let alone recommended.



Pretty significantly delta plus more more upright than the infant bucket we are currently using.

----------


## cars5431

> So I spent some time trying seats yesterday.
> 
> Diono rear facing meant front seat all the way forward and seat back straight up in the X5, no bueno. Car seat sales chick was hilariously unhelpful, pretty sure they get kick backs to sell britax seats because that was the only thing she wanted to talk about. Completely glossed over availability of the angle adjuster so I never got to try the diono with it.
> 
> I think the Diono is what I want but I also don’t want to own a seat that will make road trips unpalatable.
> 
> I did end up picking up a britax boulevard for the NX just because it was clear that the Diono was never going to be an option in that car.
> 
> My kid is only 18lb so we have a long road until forward facing is even an option let alone recommended.
> ...



The angle adjuster makes a big difference with that car seat. We have same one. (Dino)

----------


## bjstare

I'm pretty sure the angle adjuster (just a 1.5" thick foam square) gives you an extra ~4" of room; it's a tangible difference. If it matters, I'm happy to go outside and actually measure it for you.

----------


## killramos

> I'm pretty sure the angle adjuster (just a 1.5" thick foam square) gives you an extra ~4" of room; it's a tangible difference. If it matters, I'm happy to go outside and actually measure it for you.



Does it just prop up the front of the chair to make it more upright?



One of the things I found confusing about the Diono is with the rear facing wedge there are these little feet (poking against the isofix point in the image), that I assume are designed to just wedge themselves into the seat? But they don’t really insert into my seats so the car sets doesn’t really rest against the seat back but rather on these weird little pegs that are sticking out ( that I would be very tempted to “remove”).

I tried to talk these things through with the car seat expert at WCK and they just kept trying to upsell the britax seat.

----------


## cycosis

> Does it just prop up the front of the chair to make it more upright?
> 
> 
> 
> One of the things I found confusing about the Diono is with the rear facing wedge there are these little feet (poking against the isofix point in the image), that I assume are designed to just wedge themselves into the seat? But they don’t really insert into my seats so the car sets doesn’t really rest against the seat back but rather on these weird little pegs that are sticking out ( that I would be very tempted to “remove”).
> 
> I tried to talk these things through with the car seat expert at WCK and they just kept trying to upsell the britax seat.






> Does it just prop up the front of the chair to make it more upright?
> 
> 
> 
> One of the things I found confusing about the Diono is with the rear facing wedge there are these little feet (poking against the isofix point in the image), that I assume are designed to just wedge themselves into the seat? But they don’t really insert into my seats so the car sets doesn’t really rest against the seat back but rather on these weird little pegs that are sticking out ( that I would be very tempted to “remove”).
> 
> I tried to talk these things through with the car seat expert at WCK and they just kept trying to upsell the britax seat.



Thats because that seat is likely incompatible with your vehicle dude. Sry to say.

I was a certified car seat tech for years when I was in the industry. I installed hundreds of Dionos. You are quite right, those 'feet' on the rear facing wedge MUST go into your upholstery's gap. In a head on collision, they assist in preventing the seat from slamming forward. Many luxury vehicles suffer from this problem and are not compatible with the Diono.

Normally the gap that those feet nest into is on the same plane as the bottom cushion. You can see in your vehicle, the gap is actually 1-2" above the bottom cushion. This throws the default angle of the car seat off. You *might be able to correct this using the angle adjuster foam block will correct the plane of your bottom cushion, thus allowing those feet to go into your vehicle's upholstery gap.

Send me a PM if you wish for further clarification.

----------


## killramos

Well fuck me then. 

I’m very disappointed your store isn’t still around, it’s nice to have the option to go talk to someone who actually seems to know something about the products they sell.

I’m tempted to just use the infant bucket for another 4 months until my kid works her way up the weight curve and then just go forward facing.

----------


## cycosis

> Well fuck me then. 
> 
> I’m very disappointed your store isn’t still around, it’s nice to have the option to go talk to someone who actually seems to know something about the products they sell.
> 
> I’m tempted to just use the infant bucket for another 4 months until my kid works her way up the weight curve and then just go forward facing.



Strongly recommend keeping your kiddo rear facing until at least 2!!!! They just dont have the neck development. The diono is a great seat! Dont get me wrong. You just may need to finesse the install a bit further as what I saw in those pictures are not good enough. Those weight/height ratings for switching to the next stage are the minimums! Your kiddo is always safer rear facing vs forward facing. Just as they are safer in a 5 point harness forward facing vs booster seat.

----------


## Buster

Feed your kid some pizza and burgers and get them front facing.

----------


## danno

I dont miss dealing with rear facing, we always had a full size truck or navigator while rear facing. Maybe a minivan could handle a rear facing decently, just got to go return the x5 and get a sienna.

----------


## killramos

Can I just return the kid?

----------


## npham

Could just move the front passenger seat all the way forward and sit in the back until the pizza/burger diet kicks in.

----------


## Disoblige

> Can I just return the kid?



You could go grab some smokes.

----------


## dirtsniffer

for rear facing in my double cab truck I found the graco 4ever fit the best. front facing it's a bit bigger than the diono, but they fit way easier then anyways.

----------


## Buster

> You could go grab some smokes.



repped

----------


## schurchill39

> You could go grab some smokes.



When my wife has to run out and my toddler asks where mom went I say she went to get smokes. Its been pretty funny when he tells someone "my mom just ran out to get smokes yesterday".

----------


## 88CRX

Can someone just tell me what rear facing kid seat to get? Dealing with West Cost is the worst or is there somewhere better to go? Shes in a infant seat right now but need to upgrade in the coming months here. 

What is the smallest rear facing seat.... any chance of one fitting in a savage AF Fit?

----------


## A2VR6

> What is the smallest rear facing seat.... any chance of one fitting in a savage AF Fit?




Not happening. I just gave up and took separate cars if my wife wanted to use the Fit and take the kid. Currently using an rear facing infant seat (Nuna Pipa) + a forward facing Britax (Clicktight Marathon) in the Wagon with no issues for the two kids. Theres enough room to go rear facing with the Nuna or the Britax without moving the front seat all the way to the front.

----------


## killramos

Yea the Britax marathon is going in the NX which is much tighter. Nana Pipa is actually a great seat for a newborn carrier, highly recommend.

----------


## nismodrifter

> Can someone just tell me what rear facing kid seat to get? Dealing with West Cost is the worst or is there somewhere better to go? Shes in a infant seat right now but need to upgrade in the coming months here. 
> 
> What is the smallest rear facing seat.... any chance of one fitting in a savage AF Fit?



We got graco 4ever 4 in 1 car seat after reading about many positive reviews other Beyonders gave. Nice seat. Comes on sale at Canadian Tire. Our kid is almost 2. Looking forward to the day I can turn this thing around. Squeezing him in there is biggest pain in buttocks.

----------


## arcticcat522

Everyone with a kid should just buy a full size SUV

----------


## ExtraSlow

> everyone with a kid should just buy a minivan



ftfy

----------


## arcticcat522

Wife wouldn't go for it. I personally love them. Dam wife doesn't know what she is missing..

----------


## ExtraSlow

If your wife controls your vehicle choices then she's the man in your marriage. You are a vagina woman person. Sad.

----------


## 90_Shelby

> Everyone with a kid should just buy a Trackhawk



This.

----------


## arcticcat522

> If your wife controls your vehicle choices then she's the man in your marriage. You are a vagina woman person. Sad.



Not my vehicle.....I wouldn't drive the mini van. It's the family car. She controls the family vehicle choice.

- - - Updated - - -




> This.



I can get behind this

----------


## ExtraSlow

> Not my vehicle.....I wouldn't drive the mini van. It's the family car. She controls the family vehicle choice.
> 
> - - - Updated - - -
> 
> 
> 
> I can get behind this



Sorry about your balls.

----------


## Darell_n

We had dual rear facing seats in the back of our WRX, no problem. Clearly you guys need to drive outdated little Japanese cars instead of full-size luxury haulers.

----------


## killramos

Just a pro tip in case anyone else is in the market. Diono 3QX seats on currently on sale on Amazon (420 depending on Color vs 550 in store).

----------


## rage2

I’ve blocked out car seats from memory. I do have this photo of 2 seats including a rear facing in the RC-F. 



Can’t remember what model they are but if it fits there it should fit everywhere. Pretty sure I got both from 
@cycosis
.

----------


## arcticcat522

> Sorry about your balls.



 :Wink:

----------


## killramos

I am a Stubborn Bastard

Angle adjuster did the trick and i was able to get it nicely installed with the feet properly wedged into the seat and it’s not going anywhere.



Lots of room up front, even for me at 6’. My stubby wife is swimming in space up there.

----------


## bjstare

Angle adjuster ftw?

----------


## killramos

Pretty much

----------


## ramminghard

Has anyone investigated saving cord blood and cord tissue lately? We are having a kid early January and been bouncing around on whether or not to do it. Been looking at doing it with Insception Lifebank.

----------


## killramos

I’m not a Druid. So no.

----------


## Darkane

> I’m not a Druid. So no.



Can’t rep you, but that is awesome. 

First time fathers: what did you say when the nurse or doc asked you if you want to take the placenta home to eat?

----------


## killramos

> Can’t rep you, but that is awesome. 
> 
> First time fathers: what did you say when the nurse or doc asked you if you want to take the placenta home to eat?



We had our baby delivered by our actual OB/GYN so she knew that we weren’t into that nonsense and didn’t ask.

----------


## vengie

> First time fathers: what did you say when the nurse or doc asked you if you want to take the placenta home to eat?



No.

Baby number two is due end of Feb, slightly scared to get back into baby mode...

----------


## schurchill39

> Has anyone investigated saving cord blood and cord tissue lately? We are having a kid early January and been bouncing around on whether or not to do it. Been looking at doing it with Insception Lifebank.



We looked into it pretty extensively with the first and at the end of the day we decided against it. Yes it would be great to have it if (god forbid) you needed it because your kiddo gets sick, but technology is so advanced and continues to advance so rapidly that there are effective alternate treatments. There were a pile of reviews and opinions out there on it and we spent a few hours reading other people's points of view before deciding that the $$ and process wasn't worth it for us given the likelihood of needing it with no other alternative medicine available. I'd suggest doing your own reading, see other people's opinions both for and against and see what resonates with you and momma. 




> Cant rep you, but that is awesome. 
> 
> First time fathers: what did you say when the nurse or doc asked you if you want to take the placenta home to eat?



Well most people who do it don't just fry it up with Saturday morning breakfast and eat it. But unless you know what it's used for and have already made arrangements to have it processed, then I can see how it would come across as a really strange question. Some people think the idea is crazy, others don't so to each their own.

We took the planceta from both children and had a lady in the SE process it into pills for my wife. When she brought the idea to me before the first kid I thought she was nuts but at the end of the day I realized most animals eat it raw after birth and I wouldn't be the one consuming it so as long as the midwife didn't have a problem with it then giver. Personally, I thought the planceta was kind of neat. On the second kid the midwife actually laid it out and showed us the different parts before packaging it up for us. 

I could definitely tell when my wife didn't take a pill or ran out because her anxiety would start to go wild pretty quickly. It was actually crazy how much of a difference they had on her overall mood for those first few months. We talked a bunch about PPD and PPA before the kid and I think that for us it was another very successful tool to combat that.

----------


## A2VR6

> Cant rep you, but that is awesome. 
> 
> First time fathers: what did you say when the nurse or doc asked you if you want to take the placenta home to eat?



First kid: "fuck no"

Second kid: they didnt even ask.

----------


## Buster

/slowly backs out of thread.

----------


## killramos

> /slowly backs out of thread.



 :ROFL!:

----------


## ExtraSlow

Is this the thread where people call me crazy because we had both kids in our house?

----------


## killramos

> Is this the thread where people call me crazy because we had both kids in our house?



Yes

More specifically your wife.

----------


## ExtraSlow

I figured. Ah well, I've been called worse by better.

----------


## suntan

Why didn't you go to the place where all the sick people are to give birth? It makes complete logical sense.

----------


## Buster

> Is this the thread where people call me crazy because we had both kids in our house?



Let's be honest, you didn't have anything to do with the decision.

----------


## schurchill39

> Is this the thread where people call me crazy because we had both kids in our house?



We wanted to have both kids at home but the first one was stubborn so we went to the hospital for a bit of help. The second came so quick I had to quarterback it before the midwife was able to show up. Thank god I've been playing fantasy football for 7+ years so I was ready. I'm not sure I would have even gotten the wife to the car if we wanted to go to the hospital with how quick she was born so I'm glad we were set up for her.

I can now add "birthing a human" to my resume so I'm basically halfway to MD as far as I can tell.

----------


## Buster

> We wanted to have both kids at home but the first one was stubborn so we went to the hospital for a bit of help. The second came so quick I had to quarterback it before the midwife was able to show up. Thank god I've been playing fantasy football for 7+ years so I was ready. I'm not sure I would have even gotten the wife to the car if we wanted to go to the hospital with how quick she was born so I'm glad we were set up for her.
> 
> I can now add "birthing a human" to my resume so I'm basically halfway to MD as far as I can tell.



Not a ringing endorsement of midwifery.

On a related note, on my flight to Vancouver a couple of weeks ago we had the head flight attendant fly the plane.

----------


## ExtraSlow

People who don't know what midwives are. 

Edit: sorry that was for the pet peeves thread.

----------


## Buster

they're mid. It's right in the name.

----------


## suntan

I thought they fucked the dad?

----------


## killramos

> I thought they fucked the dad?



That’s the Au Pair.

Get your women helpers straight.

----------


## Buster

> I thought they fucked the dad?



have you seen midwives?

Hard pass.

----------


## vengie

> have you seen midwives?
> 
> Hard pass.



Have you seen a midwife in the last 5 years?  :Love:

----------


## killramos

> Have you seen a midwife in the last 5 years?



*buster does some math with his kids ages*

----------


## XylathaneGTR

Buster is this you?

----------


## suntan

He's not that young.

----------


## Misterman

> I am a Stubborn Bastard
> Attachment 103532
> Angle adjuster did the trick and i was able to get it nicely installed with the feet properly wedged into the seat and its not going anywhere.
> Attachment 103533
> Attachment 103534
> 
> Lots of room up front, even for me at 6. My stubby wife is swimming in space up there.



That looks way easier to get a kid in and out of than the Clek Foonf we got. I didn't want to deal with the extreme lean angle of the Diono and have no leg room in the front. Turns out we had no leg room with the Clek anyway. And as soon as my wife found out that it's safer to mount the seat in the middle instead of the sides, my next honey do task was to move the car seat. Now there is no issue with leg room. 

With my hindsight I would have got the Diono. Kids always fall asleep in the car, and without the lean angle of the Diono their head just falls forward which we were not too keen about. I figure the Diono would keep his head naturally leaning back in a proper posture position, and not leaving chest buckle marks all over his chin. 

6 more months till we can turn him forward facing can't come soon enough. He hates facing rear and essentially feeling like he is back there alone and not able to be involved with us.

----------


## Darell_n

Our kids always did well with a mirror on the headrest to look forward. They learn how to make eye contact with it pretty much instantly.

----------


## bjstare

99% sure mounting your car seat in the middle isn’t safer. 
@Misterman
 did your wife research that on Facebook mom groups?

----------


## killramos

Is this like those little chunks of foam you attach to the side of the seat every manufacturer has that they call side impact protection for another $100?

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> 99% sure mounting your car seat in the middle isnt safer. 
> @Misterman
>  did your wife research that on Facebook mom groups?



It sounds like that would be safer, but I've never thought about it before. Is it a known thing that is not?

----------


## Tik-Tok

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18450877/

TL;DR "Children seated in the center rear have a 43% lower risk of injury compared with children in a rear outboard position."

Old study from over a decade ago, but probably still true.

----------


## bjstare

Interesting. I recall reading somewhere that was disproven, but I could be mistaken and definitely can't be bothered to look it up again. 

I wonder why most cars don't have any isofix attachments in the center, if that's the case.

----------


## Misterman

> 99% sure mounting your car seat in the middle isn’t safer. 
> @Misterman
>  did your wife research that on Facebook mom groups?



No. It's basically confirmed by everything I quickly googled on it.

----------


## nismodrifter

What kind of poo receptacles are yall using?

Diaper genie bags are freaking $$$$$$$$$$$$$$. Getting tired of paying for that. Anything else similar that does NOT smell but takes regular bags (or maybe small bin sized garbage bags).

Must NOT smell.

Or is Diaper Genie the best and I must take HELOC to pay for the bags?

----------


## Cagare

> What kind of poo receptacles are yall using?
> 
> Diaper genie bags are freaking $$$$$$$$$$$$$$. Getting tired of paying for that. Anything else similar that does NOT smell but takes regular bags (or maybe small bin sized garbage bags).
> 
> Must NOT smell.
> 
> Or is Diaper Genie the best and I must take HELOC to pay for the bags?



We had something from Arm and Hammer which was less expensive but it got discontinued so we had to move to diaper genie. The best prices I have found for diaper genie inserts are on subscribe and save from Amazon, it's like finding them on-sale anywhere else. It does an impressive job of managing the smell, and you don't need to replace the little filter at the top I didn't find that did anything.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Diaper genie, don't overthink it. Shop around.

----------


## you&me

> What kind of poo receptacles are yall using?
> 
> Diaper genie bags are freaking $$$$$$$$$$$$$$. Getting tired of paying for that. Anything else similar that does NOT smell but takes regular bags (or maybe small bin sized garbage bags).
> 
> Must NOT smell.
> 
> Or is Diaper Genie the best and I must take HELOC to pay for the bags?



Just get the Diaper Genie bags from Costco. 

We had one for kids 1-3 and my wife thought it would be a good idea to try and save money and replaced it with an Ubbi that takes regular bags... It sucked, leaked stench, was easily overloaded so diapers spilled into the pale (the Genie bags aren't a predetermined size, so you can cram them as full as you want)... 

When it comes to baby gear, there are some things that are the gold standard for a reason and the Diaper Genie is one of those items.

----------


## vengie

Diaper Genie here as well. 

Order from Amazon, way cheaper..

----------


## haggis88

Wife gets DG refills from Walmart, off brand ones

Work just the same and way cheaper

----------


## 88CRX

We’re using the ubbi and no smell or spills. Uses regular bags.

----------


## bjstare

Ours says dekor on top. It works well, hides stink. Absolutely no idea what the bags cost, not my dept.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> Wife gets DG refills from Walmart, off brand ones
> 
> Work just the same and way cheaper



This.
90% as good and half the price.

----------


## arcticcat522

We switched from DG to the ubbi, because it's metal and looks cooler.....DG was way better. Done with thoes time now tho. Good luck

----------


## nismodrifter

> Wife gets DG refills from Walmart, off brand ones
> 
> Work just the same and way cheaper



Will give this a shot.

Thanks all. How times have changed on this forum. May the poop be with you.

----------


## suntan

What a world we live in where there’s off brand DG refills.

----------


## dirtsniffer

> Were using the ubbi and no smell or spills. Uses regular bags.



Me too.

----------


## Buster

Students shouldnt have kids

----------


## Misterman

> What kind of poo receptacles are yall using?
> 
> Diaper genie bags are freaking $$$$$$$$$$$$$$. Getting tired of paying for that. Anything else similar that does NOT smell but takes regular bags (or maybe small bin sized garbage bags).
> 
> Must NOT smell.
> 
> Or is Diaper Genie the best and I must take HELOC to pay for the bags?



https://www.buybuybaby.com/store/pro...rd=diaper-pail

This is the one we have. It only stinks when you slide the lid open, but if I'm quick I won't even notice it. 


https://www.buybuybaby.com/store/pro...ags/1044750817

Here is the bags, I don't know if that is considered expensive? I go through a bag per week roughly. Kid is 18 months old and I've never bought a 2nd box of bags yet.

----------


## killramos

^ I have that one as well. Its great. I use the glad bags with some
Febreeze scent on them. With the tie straps to seal it up quick.

Want to know how to prevent stink? Change the bag on a reasonable schedule. If its too heavy to lift out, you waited too long.

Then I febreeze the pail after every change. 

Btw. Diapers. Nbd. Doesnt even crack the top 10 for hard things about being a parent. Thats even with my kid screaming while you do it. Everyone talks up the diapers, not even a dent.

----------


## dirtsniffer

Yea, after they start having real shits I just changed the bag every weekend. 

Diapers weren't bad I agree. Just the blowouts were gross

----------


## killramos

My kid is regular as fuck too which is awesome  :ROFL!:

----------


## Misterman

> My kid is regular as fuck too which is awesome



Mine too. I think I've dealt with maybe 3 blowouts in 18 months. Generally he has his big morning dump after breakfast, it's solid, and he will just grab my finger and walk me upstairs to change him.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

I had 2 diaper-aged children simultaneously for a period of time and our #ClimateEmergency trash can was so fucking small that I ended up needing to take some of those Diaper Genie Sausages Of Stink to work, which was actually fucking hilarious. I'd pull into the parking lot and find a can and you'd hear this wicked frozen thud as 17 pounds of frozen shit crashed into a can that would normally have nothing in it but rogue Tim Hortons cups and cigarette butts.
Fuck you, Royal Dutch Shell. Fuck. You.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Any dads of younger kids need a distracting toy? Not joking these are wicked for ages like 3-8. Free.

----------


## bjstare

> Any dads of younger kids need a distracting toy? Not joking these are wicked for ages like 3-8. Free.



I'll take em. Text or email me and we can figure something out.

----------


## Pacman

> Any dads of younger kids need a distracting toy? Not joking these are wicked for ages like 3-8. Free.



If cjblair doesn't take them, I would be interested in one. My son was playing with a digital cash register today at IKEA and this would probably be more fun. Good idea for kids.

----------


## bjstare

> If cjblair doesn't take them, I would be interested in one. My son was playing with a digital cash register today at IKEA and this would probably be more fun. Good idea for kids.



Yup theyre loving them. I can let you know when they move on to something else and you have have them haha.

----------


## haggis88

Well lads, that's my carefree life over

#2 and #3 on the way, due September 7

Pray for me

----------


## tirebob

> Well lads, that's my carefree life over
> 
> #2 and #3 on the way, due September 7
> 
> Pray for me



You need to find a job waaaaay out in the field bro... haha!

----------


## Tik-Tok

> You need to find a job waaaaay out in the field bro... haha!



And then work for you again on his days off. He'll need the money, and sanity.

----------


## DonJuan

> Well lads, that's my carefree life over
> 
> #2 and #3 on the way, due September 7
> 
> Pray for me



TWINS....

That's my nightmare. Wife is talking about having a 2nd, twins runs her family.  :Shock:

----------


## bjstare

> Well lads, that's my carefree life over
> 
> #2 and #3 on the way, due September 7
> 
> Pray for me



Jeeeesus, aren't you a relatively new dad? Using catholic form of birth control or what? 

Congrats though, and god speed!

----------


## ExtraSlow

Book the vasectomy today.

----------


## haggis88

Thanks dudes, its finally sunk in but the first scan was like a driveby with a baseball bat, and I was the mailbox hahah




> You need to find a job waaaaay out in the field bro... haha!



Already in the works haha, I've spoken to the Europe and Australia managers to let them know if they need manpower to request me and will be eligible for my Canadian citizenship which supposedly makes my US work visa a little easier




> And then work for you again on his days off. He'll need the money, and sanity.



Oh definitely, its funny how it will actually be relaxing doing a rush at Urban hahaha




> TWINS....
> 
> That's my nightmare. Wife is talking about having a 2nd, twins runs her family.



Yep its all down to the woman, they say it skips a generation but it's the wife's great grandmother who was a twin and that was the last twins in the family

Funny thing is, wifes cousin has a kid who is 3 days younger than our boy...and she's also pregnant about a week ahead of us, with twins. Said great grandma is the common ancestor lol




> Jeeeesus, aren't you a relatively new dad? Using catholic form of birth control or what? 
> 
> Congrats though, and god speed!



My wee man will be two by the time the twins get here - it was honestly a case of "if it happens, it happens" so we weren't trying, but weren't not trying either




> Book the vasectomy today.



If one or both of the twins is a girl, im defo getting done, otherwise I'll maybe hold off for a few years, but my feelings may change lol

----------


## arcticcat522

I have a feeling you won't want more. 3 under 3 will be tough. I booked my vasectomy 1 month after our second. No regrets. Good luck.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Once you are a parent you rarely get to buy something that's truly for yourself. A vasectomy is that thing.

----------


## haggis88

> Once you are a parent you rarely get to buy something that's truly for yourself. A vasectomy is that thing.



With the exception of a car, I don't really want/need anything for myself  :ROFL!:

----------


## schurchill39

> With the exception of a car, I don't really want/need anything for myself



Vasectomy is cheaper than a car

----------


## bjstare

> If one or both of the twins is a girl, im defo getting done, otherwise I'll maybe hold off for a few years, but my feelings may change lol



How long til you find out the gender? If you want girl stuff, we have tons of new/hardly used clothes, shoes, etc etc you can have (size 0-3T). PM me if you're interested in hand-me-downs. We have lots of boy stuff too, but I assume you're covered for that.

----------


## tirebob

> How long til you find out the gender? If you want girl stuff, we have tons of new/hardly used clothes, shoes, etc etc you can have (size 0-3T). PM me if you're interested in hand-me-downs. We have lots of boy stuff too, but I assume you're covered for that.



Haggis is the epitome of Scottish. If you have lightly used diapers, he will probably grab them. :ROFL!:  Waste not, want not.

----------


## haggis88

> How long til you find out the gender? If you want girl stuff, we have tons of new/hardly used clothes, shoes, etc etc you can have (size 0-3T). PM me if you're interested in hand-me-downs. We have lots of boy stuff too, but I assume you're covered for that.



Gender scan is next month iirc, we're defo finding out and I'd definitely be interested in baby girl stuff if we do have one (or two) coming.

You're right that we're covered for boy stuff, and that's actually most of the reason for finding out gender this time round, so I can either get rid or fold and organise all the boy stuff - it's all been hand-me-down or from OnceUpon, barely bought any new stuff ourselves for him unless it was on clearance  :Smilie: 




> Haggis is the epitome of Scottish. If you have lightly used diapers, he will probably grab them. Waste not, want not.



Yip, but my wife is the epitome of a Calgarian millenial who grew up in the O&G boom...apparently Scottish tightfistedness is no match for that  :ROFL!:

----------


## tirebob

> Yip, but my wife is the epitome of a Calgarian millenial who grew up in the O&G boom...apparently Scottish tightfistedness is no match for that



Hahaha! Truth...

----------


## JfuckinC

Twins, insane, but also cool once they're not babies hahaha... i have a couple friends with them, and my cousin too. Kinda wish i got twins... my wife sure didn't though  :ROFL!:  One girl and another girl on the way, i hope on of them at least likes golf and cars...


Is haggis the guy who sold me my last couple sets of tires bob?? i need some for my new lease, just called why isn't there an end of season sale ?! haha

----------


## haggis88

> Twins, insane, but also cool once they're not babies hahaha... i have a couple friends with them, and my cousin too. Kinda wish i got twins... my wife sure didn't though  One girl and another girl on the way, i hope on of them at least likes golf and cars...
> 
> 
> Is haggis the guy who sold me my last couple sets of tires bob?? i need some for my new lease, just called why isn't there an end of season sale ?! haha



If you spoke to a Scottish guy at Urban, it was me  :ROFL!: 

I don't always match screen names to people though, usually people want to keep their internet identities secret  :Big Grin:

----------


## JfuckinC

> If you spoke to a Scottish guy at Urban, it was me 
> 
> I don't always match screen names to people though, usually people want to keep their internet identities secret



Oh ya you def hooked me up for 3 of my rides haha..

You should remember my Wife's Explorer  :ROFL!:

----------


## haggis88

> Oh ya you def hooked me up for 3 of my rides haha..
> 
> You should remember my Wife's Explorer



Oh fuck, now I want to keep my identity secret  :Frown:

----------


## prae

> Oh fuck, now I want to keep my identity secret



Why, what did you do to 
@JfuckinC
's wife?  :ROFL!:

----------


## ExtraSlow

> Oh ya you def hooked up ... my Wife






> Oh fuck, now I want to keep my identity secret



Women want him, men want to be him.

----------


## JfuckinC

> Why, what did you do to 
> @JfuckinC
> 's wife?



Nothing crazy, just some winters haha

----------


## schurchill39

> Why, what did you do to 
> @JfuckinC
> 's wife?



He explored her, duh! Didn't you read his post?

----------


## 16hypen3sp

Figured I'd just put this in this thead.

DTaP vaccine. Did any of you guys get it to be around a newborn? Was it recommended? Sister in law wants everyone that's going to be in close proximity to baby to have a DTaP shot. She's due mid next month.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

I've never heard of that.

----------


## nismodrifter

> Figured I'd just put this in this thead.
> 
> DTaP vaccine. Did any of you guys get it to be around a newborn? Was it recommended? Sister in law wants everyone that's going to be in close proximity to baby to have a DTaP shot. She's due mid next month.



Yes. 
Yes. 
And yes I agree with sister in law.

----------


## 16hypen3sp

> I've never heard of that.



Me neither, until she spoke about it. She's an AHS employee tho so perhaps that's why she more serious about it. 

Found this page from the CDC... which says that we need it. 

https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pregnan...20and%20adults)

- - - Updated - - -




> Yes. 
> Yes. 
> And yes I agree with sister in law.



Sounds good nismo, thanks.

----------


## Misterman

> Figured I'd just put this in this thead.
> 
> DTaP vaccine. Did any of you guys get it to be around a newborn? Was it recommended? Sister in law wants everyone that's going to be in close proximity to baby to have a DTaP shot. She's due mid next month.



I remember being told I needed this before ours was born, so I got it.

----------


## bulaian

Yes, both the wife and I got it at the pediatric clinic before our daughter was born.

----------


## JfuckinC

strange, my wife said she got it, but she didn't make me.. and she's a vaccine nazi nurse haha.. maybe i should for baby 2.



for anyone who doesn't know this, the new red diaper genie refills are wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better. there's no more gnarly smells coming from the genie anymore!

----------


## schurchill39

> Figured I'd just put this in this thead.
> 
> DTaP vaccine. Did any of you guys get it to be around a newborn? Was it recommended? Sister in law wants everyone that's going to be in close proximity to baby to have a DTaP shot. She's due mid next month.



Yep we both did. Its highly recommended. My arm hurt like a bitch for a few days after but when you realize how susceptible baby's are to that sort of illness it was worth it.

----------


## bjstare

Was gonna post in pet peeves thread but thought it might be more fitting here. 

Going through a parental right of passage at the moment, whole fam has food poisoning. Thought it was somehow just me and my wife up all night puking, turns out both my kids puked silently in their beds then went back to sleep in it until morning came around. Also after breakfast I was holding my son and he threw up on the both of us. 

 :Clap:

----------


## nismodrifter

> was gonna post in pet peeves thread but thought it might be more fitting here. 
> 
> Going through a parental right of passage at the moment, whole fam has food poisoning. Thought it was somehow just me and my wife up all night puking, turns out both my kids puked silently in their beds then went back to sleep in it until morning came around. Also after breakfast i was holding my son and he threw up on the both of us.



r.i.p

----------


## DonJuan

> for anyone who doesn't know this, the new red diaper genie refills are wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better. there's no more gnarly smells coming from the genie anymore!



I'm gonna buy these asap. Every time I change the bag in the diaper genie it takes a year off my life, I'd light a candle but the house may explode.

It's these right?
https://www.playtexbaby.com/products...-scent-refills

----------


## nismodrifter

The problem I see with any scented product is that the human waste smell mixes with the "fresh laundry scent" of the bag. Add a little bit of heat as the weather warms up, and then you have a new, more potent, absolutely disgusting odor. Similar to what air fresheners do in stinky washrooms. Be careful friend.

----------


## Buster

> Was gonna post in pet peeves thread but thought it might be more fitting here. 
> 
> Going through a parental right of passage at the moment, whole fam has food poisoning. Thought it was somehow just me and my wife up all night puking, turns out both my kids puked silently in their beds then went back to sleep in it until morning came around. Also after breakfast I was holding my son and he threw up on the both of us.



Did you find the culprit?

----------


## DonJuan

> The problem I see with any scented product is that the human waste smell mixes with the "fresh laundry scent" of the bag. Add a little bit of heat as the weather warms up, and then you have a new, more potent, absolutely disgusting odor. Similar to what air fresheners do in stinky washrooms. Be careful friend.



Damn, I was hoping for odor absorbing. Maybe I'll just light a match and end it all.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Empty that Genie more often guys. If you can smell it, empty it. This phase don't last that long.

----------


## JfuckinC

> Damn, I was hoping for odor absorbing. Maybe I'll just light a match and end it all.



the bags are thicker it seems? i dunno, seems like a different product. i don't actually smell the laundry scent, just less poop haha.





> Empty that Genie more often guys. If you can smell it, empty it. This phase don't last that long.



We empty often, they don't even really hold that many cause im not squishing them in with my hand or something haha.. it jus smells awful quick usually. not anymore though

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> Damn, I was hoping for odor absorbing. Maybe I'll just light a match and end it all.



Take the thing outside to change the bag! Then you can squeeze the shit-air out of it (DOWNWIND), tie it up and throw that consolidated sausage of stink directly into the outdoor trash can.
Profit.

----------


## bjstare

> Did you find the culprit?



Ya, had to be the eggs we ate. It’s the only thing the four of us all had.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> Ya, had to be the eggs we ate. Its the only thing the four of us all had.



Wow, that's rare. Eggs last like 5 weeks until "best before" and I think you'd need another 1+ weeks after that to get sick.
I have to buy 60 every fucking time I'm in Costco to keep up with our demand.

----------


## bjstare

> Wow, that's rare. Eggs last like 5 weeks until "best before" and I think you'd need another 1+ weeks after that to get sick.
> I have to buy 60 every fucking time I'm in Costco to keep up with our demand.



Yup super weird. We just bought them, best before is like mid April. I noticed they had a funny texture, my wife told me I was being silly. Well look who’s laughing now!

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> ... Well look whos laughing now!



Totally!!

----------


## DonJuan

> the bags are thicker it seems? i dunno, seems like a different product. i don't actually smell the laundry scent, just less poop haha.
> ...
> We empty often, they don't even really hold that many cause im not squishing them in with my hand or something haha.. it jus smells awful quick usually. not anymore though



Just thought I would update.

I bought the scented "orange" diaper genie refills. Has a kind of light bounce smell to to them, does seem like a slightly different product. Packaging is also slightly different.
Main point is the scent does nothing really. The excrement overpowers the supposed fresh scent easily and basically get this "methane" gas that is released anytime you open the diaper genie. Only solution is to empty often or outside and save the $0.87 by buying the regular blue ones.

----------


## killramos

Empty often and cleaning the genie is the correct choice.

----------


## bjstare

Put my 3yo (almost 4) daughter into a real bed last week. First couple nights were perfect, went right to sleep and didn't come out of her room til her awake light came on.

ffwd to last night, she went to sleep fine, but spent the hours of 1:45-3:45am getting up every 5-10 min to open her door and check the hallway or play pretend games with imaginary things flying around her room and "letting them out of the door". Anyone have any tips and tricks for getting a kid to stay in their room (short of locking the door from the outside)? I don't really expect her to sleep perfectly all night quite yet, but at least want her to stay in her room. I don't want her waking my 1yo up... or my wife, as she gets miserable when she doesn't sleep.

We've already tried bribing with gifts in the morning if she stays, sticker chart to work towards a big gift, threatening to cancel fun activities the next day. She just dgaf, calls our bluff on everything.

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## killramos

Define real bed ( just for my own curiosity and benchmarking).

To answer your question, maybe childproof door handles are the right choice? We had these spinny things put on knobs when I was a kid that make the knob very hard to turn.

Not sure how such contraptions fit into fire hazards these days (namely do they work so well you can’t get out in an emergency).

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## arcticcat522

If you figure it out,let me know. Our 4yo starts in his bed, but ends up in ours every night. 2 yo is in his bed all night. Some times yells for mom or dad to come lay with him at 2am, but stays in his bed.

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## ExtraSlow

Couple tips. 
1) Never, ever, say a consequence you aren't 100% ready to impose. 
2) Getting out of bed is pretty normal, and not really preventable. You need to figure out what the kid is an is not permitted to do when they get out of the bed. 
3) if it becomes a safety issue, you can consider locking them into the room somehow. Reversed door handle etc. But that can cause more problems sometimes.

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## Tik-Tok

> If you figure it out,let me know. Our 4yo starts in his bed, but ends up in ours every night. .



Time and multiple conversations about how they need to stay in their own bed. Ours stopped coming into our bed pretty much when she started grade 1.

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## ExtraSlow

Had one kid come to my bed every night. Just didn't let them stay. Still drops by when they are sick for a cuddle. I make them have a drink of water, use the bathroom etc on the way back to thier bed.

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## JustinL

> Put my 3yo (almost 4) daughter into a real bed last week. First couple nights were perfect, went right to sleep and didn't come out of her room til her awake light came on.
> 
> ffwd to last night, she went to sleep fine, but spent the hours of 1:45-3:45am getting up every 5-10 min to open her door and check the hallway or play pretend games with imaginary things flying around her room and "letting them out of the door". Anyone have any tips and tricks for getting a kid to stay in their room (short of locking the door from the outside)? I don't really expect her to sleep perfectly all night quite yet, but at least want her to stay in her room. I don't want her waking my 1yo up... or my wife, as she gets miserable when she doesn't sleep.
> 
> We've already tried bribing with gifts in the morning if she stays, sticker chart to work towards a big gift, threatening to cancel fun activities the next day. She just dgaf, calls our bluff on everything.



I've been through this too. We started just after she turned 2 because we needed the crib for the next kid. Just be consistent, we call it "the night of 100 walks". Just keep walking her back to bed. I had to post up outside the door for hours at a time at first just to tell her to not come out. We also got a alarm clock light that turns green when she can come out of the room. Try not to get frustrated (ha! easier said than done), just keep walking her back. Don't lock her in, that will hurt your heart.

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## ExtraSlow

> Don't lock her in, that will hurt your heart.



Yeah, if you have options that are safe, don't lock the kid in. Locking them into their room, daytime or nighttime, is really only for cases where there is a safety issue.

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## vengie

Asshole dad here. 

Reverse door lock. 

Our son now stays in his room and doesn't even check the door.

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## 90_Shelby

Likely not a popular option but I know someone who would simply inform the child that leaving their room or bed, implied that they did not want to sleep in their room and the only alternative was the dark and scary spare bedroom in the basement. Once the child was promptly relocated to the basement bedroom which absolutely struck the fear of god in their eyes, they quickly realized that their bedroom was a much nicer and less scary option. The typical response is an initially terrified child, who will more then willingly return to their bedroom under their own power, never to step out of their bed or bedroom ever again.

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## killramos

^I like these two options above

Out of curiosity for those of you who have issues with this…

Did your kids have a history of being in bed with mom and dad when they are younger?

My take, our daughter has never once spent the night in bed with mom and dad so I don’t think the concept would even occur to her. She loves her room lol she begs to go in there at bed time.

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## DonJuan

> ...
> Did your kids have a history of being in bed with mom and dad when they are younger? ...



This is the question I am asking myself. Our daughter is 14 mo old and still sleeps in our bed, I don't mind it because she sleeps through the night now. But I am wondering if we are setting a precedent that she wont want to sleep in her crib in her room. We were planning on transitioning her to her room after vacation in May, since she will be sleeping with us again there as there is no crib avail where we are going.

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## 90_Shelby

> ^I like these two options above
> 
> Out of curiosity for those of you who have issues with this…
> 
> Did your kids have a history of being in bed with mom and dad when they are younger?
> 
> My take, our daughter has never once spent the night in bed with mom and dad so I don’t think the concept would even occur to her. She loves her room lol she begs to go in there at bed time.



If you don't want something to be an issue in the future don't enable it to begin with, is my thought process, you are setting precedence and a difficult habit to break. I know someone who had a kid sleep in their bed every night until an unreasonable age, they didn't know how to reverse it as the kid will certainly respond negatively when you try to change the norm. 

I didn't want this to be a problem with my kids, so I don't let my kids sleep in my bed. Even if a kid is sick or nightmares, take the kid to a spare bedroom and sleep with them or sleep in their bed but I wouldn't normalize the kid sleeping in my bed.

Alternatively, use drugs. A crumb of melatonin does absolute wonders to put a restless toddler to sleep. "Apparently"

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## arcticcat522

> Time and multiple conversations about how they need to stay in their own bed. Ours stopped coming into our bed pretty much when she started grade 1.



We have had talks, but the wife is a pushover and just blows up and says fine, get into our bed and goto sleep...

She has no follow thorough and can't deal with a little screaming...

Well, alot of screaming........

Also, on the morning clocks. We have one. Absolutely useless for us. First day with it, told out son not to get out of bed until the clock is yellow. 2am, runs into our room, yelling "my clock is yellow, my clock is yellow" dam kid pushed buttons until he figured out how to get the clock yellow.

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## bigbadboss101

One or both of our kids end up in our bed at some point. 7 and 3.5 years old. When it's early, eg. 10pm we would send our 7 year old daughter back. Our son we are more lenient with. If it's later on and we are half asleep they end up staying in our bed. 10% of the time we will wake up with kids in their own rooms. We are too nice!

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## bjstare

Good responses. A couple of answers: 
@killramos
 a real bed is... a real bed. Just got a cheap twin from ikea. Gave her crib to Haggis88. 
@ExtraSlow
 we enforce consequences. We tell her mom is no longer taking her to the zoo today (and they don't go), she says "that's ok."

We likely won't be locking her in. She's really sensitive to things like that and it takes her weeks/months to get over it. Also, not sure about Calgary/AB fire code, but I did read that it's against code in some places. Moot point for me though, as that's a last last last resort.

She never has and still doesn't spend the night in our bed. On rare occasions (like when she was miserably sick), I'd sleep with her in the spare room. Once last week I went and slept in her bed for half the night; that was the last time.
I sat outside for a couple hours before, and she came out more often to see if I was still there. The path forward now is to tell her where I'm going to be (my bed) and she'll check once or twice to confirm, then drop it.

This is difficult because she isn't really doing anything seriously wrong, not crying (well, very rarely), she's just being a kid that took a 6hr nap then decides to get up and play.

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## killramos

> If you don't want something to be an issue in the future don't enable it to begin with, is my thought process, you are setting precedence and a difficult habit to break. I know someone who had a kid sleep in their bed every night until an unreasonable age, they didn't know how to reverse it as the kid will certainly respond negatively when you try to change the norm. 
> 
> I didn't want this to be a problem with my kids, so I don't let my kids sleep in my bed. Even if a kid is sick or nightmares, take the kid to a spare bedroom and sleep with them or sleep in their bed but I wouldn't normalize the kid sleeping in my bed.
> 
> Alternatively, use drugs. A crumb of melatonin does absolute wonders to put a restless toddler to sleep. "Apparently"



I shit you not my wife’s sister ( half sister from a second marriage ) still to this day climbs into bed with her mom and dad. Shes 18.

They were here visiting a few weeks ago and she pulled that stunt I couldn’t believe it. 

Fucking maritimers.

Re the “real bed” comments, I have conversion kits to convert our crib to a gated toddler bed and ultimately to a real bed. I was wondering if you came right from crib to real bed or had an intermediate step.

I was considering converting my 16 month olds crib to the next level toddler bed some time in the next 6 months. I really have no idea timing on that.

I have a friend who did the co sleeping thing from a young age, they are having a nightmare of a time trying to get their kid to even sleep in a crib now.

Practically speaking, what’s the difference between a crib with walls and “locking” the door? To me it’s just about setting firm boundaries.

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## ExtraSlow

If the mom doesn't mind them in the bed, the kid will be in the bed. Sounds like the only problem is the dad.

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## Buster

> 1) Never, ever, say a consequence you aren't 100% ready to impose.



This might be the singles best piece of parenting advice available on the internet.

Too bad my wife doesn't get it.

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## Tik-Tok

Have none of you tried beating your kids?

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## cet

^^ +1. I also think the same rule applies to promises. I never promise anything to my daughter that I can't or won't follow through on.

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## DonJuan

> ...
> 
> I have a friend who did the co sleeping thing from a young age, they are having a nightmare of a time trying to get their kid to even sleep in a crib now.
> 
> ...



fml

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## Doozer

Lots of good stuff here. Agree with the consequences 100%. In fact, I would often sometimes over-react on purpose a bit when I was at home, in a controlled environment. IE take their games away for some minor infraction. By showing that you'll carry through with things in a controlled environment, I rarely had to worry about it when I made threats in public. They knew I'd carried through with other punishments (which were suitable to me) so why wouldn't I carry through that one?

Also, letting them into your bed is something you should only do if you're prepared to do it forever. Go sleep in their bed if you need to, but our bed was always off-limits. I know too many people with teenagers that are still bothered by their kids coming in sometimes. No thank you. It caused some hefty fights with the wife but we got through it when the kids were young and she's happier now for it. 

Also, like some have said, this "waking up" may be a phase that you have to live through. It's terrible while it's happening but honestly most of the time it doesn't last long. The only other thing I might suggest that hasn't been stated is seeing if you can manage the sleep times differently. Depending on the age, she just might not quite be old enough to sleep through the whole night? I don't know if she was doing that in her crib, but stretching our her bedtime or manipulating her naps/sleeping/etc might help her get through that stretch better.

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## bjstare

> Also, like some have said, this "waking up" may be a phase that you have to live through. It's terrible while it's happening but honestly most of the time it doesn't last long. The only other thing I might suggest that hasn't been stated is seeing if you can manage the sleep times differently. Depending on the age, she just might not quite be old enough to sleep through the whole night? I don't know if she was doing that in her crib, but stretching our her bedtime or manipulating her naps/sleeping/etc might help her get through that stretch better.



Yeah she's always been a phenomenal sleeper. Made it through the whole night starting from some really early age like 6-7 months old IIRC. She's almost 4 now, this is just a regression since she's discovering newfound freedom.

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## Darell_n

My 5 year old has been waking up with nightmares after Christmas. Her same age cousin was sleeping over in my daughters bedroom and my daughter told her that her bookshelf comes alive at night and the books attack her. Her cousin noped out of there so fast it was hilarious. They really start to get an active imagination when they’re 4/5.

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## JustinL

> Did your kids have a history of being in bed with mom and dad when they are younger?



Never for us; always in her crib until she changed to a new room with a double bed. It's just a new found freedom and testing the boundaries of that freedom. It was a tough month or so getting her to learn that she can't come out and play, but now it's a dream. She stays in her bed and sings or talks until she falls asleep. If she gets up in the night, we know something's wrong. It's hard, but just be consistent and don't break their trust. Don't yell or show your frustration, just keep walking her back to bed. Decide where the boundary is, tell your kid, then enforce it consistently. They're good learners even though they fight it.

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## JfuckinC

> My 5 year old has been waking up with nightmares after Christmas. Her same age cousin was sleeping over in my daughters bedroom and my daughter told her that her bookshelf comes alive at night and the books attack her. Her cousin noped out of there so fast it was hilarious. They really start to get an active imagination when theyre 4/5.



hahahah wtf, that's creepy.

I love this thread, just a bunch of dads blindly making their way through fatherhood. I'm right there with you fellas. No co sleeping though, our kid only like sleeping in her crib, literally no where else haha.. it took 19 months, but she sure is being an asshole lately  :ROFL!:  (her being an asshole took 19 months, shes always slept like a dream... not to rub it in)

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## vengie

Any advice on dealing with the terrible two's?

My son has become an asshole.

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## DonJuan

> Any advice on dealing with the terrible two's?
> 
> My son has become an asshole.



Have you tried fucking his dad? ... wait

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## rage2

> Any advice on dealing with the terrible two's?
> 
> My son has become an asshole.



It's more like terrible 2 to 5. Man I remember our 2nd child starting the terrible 2's phase when we were expecting our 3rd. Had us saying WTF were we thinking. Fuck those were tough years.

I have no advice for you.

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## 88CRX

> I love this thread, just a bunch of dads blindly making their way through fatherhood. I'm right there with you fellas. No co sleeping though, our kid only like sleeping in her crib, literally no where else haha.. it took 19 months, but she sure is being an asshole lately  (her being an asshole took 19 months, shes always slept like a dream... not to rub it in)



I read this thread and wonder how bad its going to get in the coming years haha. Ours is 8 months old and sleeps 8:30-9:30 every night and has for months (knock on wood).

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## vengie

> It's more like terrible 2 to 5. Man I remember our 2nd child starting the terrible 2's phase when we were expecting our 3rd. Had us saying WTF were we thinking. Fuck those were tough years.
> 
> I have no advice for you.



Even worse is we now have a newborn as well  :facepalm: 

The assholeness does not coincide with the new baby, he was an asshole before baby came.

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## bjstare

> Even worse is we now have a newborn as well 
> 
> The assholeness does not coincide with the new baby, he was an asshole before baby came.



Like others said, it'll get worse before it gets better. Good luck.

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## haggis88

> I read this thread and wonder how bad its going to get in the coming years haha. Ours is 8 months old and sleeps 8:30-9:30 every night and has for months (knock on wood).



There will be regressions, its just natural development of babies brain. Our little guy is 19 months now and going through another regression. He'll go down fine at his usual 8pm bedtime and for the last ~8 months was sleeping thru til 10am sometimes, but now he's back up at around 2am, moans a little bit for 10 mins and goes back down. Then at 6am there's a scream-fest for about 10 mins and he goes back down before getting up around 8-9am

We had a similar thing around 9 months, then about 13 months and now this. There's milestones they approach with brain development at these ages, the wife reads some baby journal thing and so far everything has gone along with what it says.




> Even worse is we now have a newborn as well 
> 
> The assholeness does not coincide with the new baby, he was an asshole before baby came.



I'm coming up about 5/6 months behind you here brother...we'll have 2 newborns coming and #1 is going through an asshole stage now. No-one is allowed to do anything for him except mummy and he'll have a shit-fit over not getting his own way

Trying to teach him to help mummy out by feeding the dog and cats, and he's gotten quite good at it, even though he's still trying to eat the dogs kibble  :ROFL!:

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## ExtraSlow

> Like others said, it'll get worse before it gets better. Good luck.



This right here. They turn nice again usually by grade 2.

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## Darell_n

> This right here. They turn nice again usually by grade 2.



Agreed. Then you can have actual civil and intellectual conversations with them. I think a handful of members posting lately haven’t progressed to Grade 2 yet.

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## schurchill39

My boy likes to fiddle fuck around before he goes to sleep which includes getting up a lot to check if I am in bed too. Or he will start getting up around 5:30-6am every 10 minutes when we usually don't get them out of bed until 7:30. Although I try not to, if I am desperate I usually give him a few books and turn his lamp on. For my kid he gets up because he says he's done sleeping or doesn't want to sleep so I tell him he doesn't have to but he has to stay in his room and he can read books until I get him. 9/10 times I find him asleep when I come back, the other 1/10 times hes signing to himself while stacking the books.

We transitioned my son just after his 2nd birthday to a real bed (twin from ikea) that had a hockey stick guard rail on it that I built. We made a big deal about it which I think helped solidify how cool it was for him. He actually would never get out of bed at all until he was 3.5 and we started to night potty train. My daughter is going to be a handful though so she might have to stay in the crib for longer.

We never co-slept but had friends whose kids were 6 and 4 before he finally put his foot down and made them sleep in their own beds. That sounds like hell.

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## bjstare

> My boy likes to fiddle fuck around before he goes to sleep which includes getting up a lot to check if I am in bed too. Or he will start getting up around 5:30-6am every 10 minutes when we usually don't get them out of bed until 7:30.
> 
> [...]
> 
> We never co-slept but had friends whose kids were 6 and 4 before he finally put his foot down and made them sleep in their own beds. That sounds like hell.



Yeah, now my girl is making it through the night fine, but it's exactly what you just described. She has to watch me go into my room to "go to bed" at the same time as her, and she'll be up by 5:45-6:00. Oh well, progress is progress.

RE: Co-sleeping, a buddy of mine did the co-sleeping with his two kids, I think they transitioned them to their own rooms somewhere between 2-3yo. He didn't have anything bad to say about it, says now they sleep in their own beds normally for the most part (they're 4 and 6 now). What I don't understand is how you find the time to conceive a second child when the other one is with you whenever it's sleeping  :Confused:

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## skandalouz_08

If my daughter comes to our room in the middle of the night because of a nightmare we let her sleep with us. However, at some point when she starts kicking or laying across the bed sideways I try to carry her back to her bed and then she'll typically stay there until the morning. If you constantly let her stay then it becomes the norm and we don't want that as a norm.

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## RX_EVOLV

We are dealing with our 3yo coming over at around 1am and/or 3am every night too . Not necessarily to climb into our bed, but she need to know we are there. We just need to walk her back to her room and wait ~ 1-2 mins for her to fall back asleep. It's not too bad but it also means I haven't had an uninterrupted sleep in about 1.5 years.

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## suntan

> Yeah, now my girl is making it through the night fine, but it's exactly what you just described. She has to watch me go into my room to "go to bed" at the same time as her, and she'll be up by 5:45-6:00. Oh well, progress is progress.
> 
> RE: Co-sleeping, a buddy of mine did the co-sleeping with his two kids, I think they transitioned them to their own rooms somewhere between 2-3yo. He didn't have anything bad to say about it, says now they sleep in their own beds normally for the most part (they're 4 and 6 now). What I don't understand is how you find the time to conceive a second child when the other one is with you whenever it's sleeping



I'm sure I mentioned it in this thread but the wife and I took turns co-sleeping with our second in her bedroom. One day she just said "I can sleep by myself" and that was that.

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## nismodrifter

Kids are very interesting. All winter long we kept on trying to get our 2 year old to wear his gloves/mittens. He refused. This was an issue for many outings unfortunately. We had to return home many times because his hands couldn't be out in the cold that long. Nor could he play in the snow etc for too long.
Yesterday I see him digging through his little basket of clothes, and in his hands are on his winter gloves, never worn of course. He was very interested in putting them on (weather outside was +16c). He calmly let me put them on for him and was amazed. Did not want to take them off. 

 :crazy nut:

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## Misterman

> Any advice on dealing with the terrible two's?
> 
> My son has become an asshole.



Toddlers are basically hard wired for power struggles. I just try to avoid giving him hard NO's on the things I can, and getting to that level with him. The strategy I read about that seems to work pretty well for us, is to give him a choice of things as much as possible. For example, if he doesn't want PJ's on, I don't argue with him and try to force him into them. I hold up two pairs and ask him to choose which one he wants. It's not fool proof, but it certainly saves a lot of headaches.

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## Tik-Tok

The illusion of choice has been a great method of control for centuries.

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## vengie

> Toddlers are basically hard wired for power struggles. I just try to avoid giving him hard NO's on the things I can, and getting to that level with him. The strategy I read about that seems to work pretty well for us, is to give him a choice of things as much as possible. For example, if he doesn't want PJ's on, I don't argue with him and try to force him into them. I hold up two pairs and ask him to choose which one he wants. It's not fool proof, but it certainly saves a lot of headaches.



Yeah we do this. Coupled with reverse psychology. 

"I did not want either!!" Okay be naked, then he freaks out and will make a choice. 

Exhausting

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## Misterman

> Yeah we do this. Coupled with reverse psychology. 
> 
> "I did not want either!!" Okay be naked, then he freaks out and will make a choice. 
> 
> Exhausting



Lol. Mine isn't that wild yet, he is still 3 months away from being 2. So I'm sure I have more joys of terrible twos coming my way.

But I've found it helpful to read a lot about this stuff. There's been a lot of parents before my time that have figured things out that can potentially work for me. Seems like a lot of parents tend to just assume this parenting thing is all intuitive and expect to get it right all on their own. I follow a few toddler parenting pages on Instagram, and they tend to have some helpful suggestions more times than not.

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## vengie

We also have a three week old newborn... So that's also a thing.

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## bjstare

We do the choice thing too, it works well.

Also, terrible twos is inaccurate. Was not terrible at all for us. Year 3 was way harder than year 2.

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## jwslam

> even though he's still trying to eat the dogs kibble



Serious question: Is there actually any harm in just allowing him to eat it?

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## killramos

There is the emotional/reputational harm of knowing your kid literally eats dog food

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## R-Audi

2 wasnt bad for either of my boys, but came across someone calling them the 'fucking fours' which seemed to fit.

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## ThePenIsMightier

I used to eat some dog bones (much to the dismay of Drago) and I turned out fi...

*It's harmful...

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## bjstare

> Serious question: Is there actually any harm in just allowing him to eat it?



My boy has eaten a bit of dog food. He seems fine. Too bad he didn't like it more, would be a lot cheaper.

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## schurchill39

Another useful tip that is insanely effective for our kids is using a timer. We use one for everything from sharing a toy they both seem to want, to TV time, to playing before we have to leave anywhere. Anything that was previously a fight and you can associate a time frame too has been made so much easier. For example there is a park on the walk back from daycare, before if we stopped it was a nightmare getting them to leave when it was time to keep going home but as we walk up we tell them we are going to set a timer for 10 minutes and when it goes off its time to go. I have them press the "start" button on my phone so they have some involvement and off they go. The other day they were fighting over riding a scooter on the deck so we set 2 minute timers where each got a turn and repeated that until they were over it. Its been one of the most effective tools we've had.

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## JfuckinC

haha we're at the terrible 1.5's, everything is a battle right now... and i jinxed myself, last couple nights shes been waking up at 12 in like 10-15 minutes intervals and crying. im scared for june and kid 2  :Cry:

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## vengie

> haha we're at the terrible 1.5's, everything is a battle right now... and i jinxed myself, last couple nights shes been waking up at 12 in like 10-15 minutes intervals and crying. im scared for june and kid 2



Two is WAY easier than one!!!!



...... Said no dad ever.

Buckle up.

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## DonJuan

> Lol. Mine isn't that wild yet, he is still 3 months away from being 2. So I'm sure I have more joys of terrible twos coming my way.
> 
> But I've found it helpful to read a lot about this stuff. There's been a lot of parents before my time that have figured things out that can potentially work for me. Seems like a lot of parents tend to just assume this parenting thing is all intuitive and expect to get it right all on their own. I follow a few toddler parenting pages on Instagram, and they tend to have some helpful suggestions more times than not.



I got 6 months before mine turns 2 and I already get eye rolls and even some of straight up yell NO's.

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## schurchill39

> Two is WAY easier than one!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> ...... Said no dad ever.
> 
> Buckle up.



I don't know why I thought my second kid would be like my first one. I had it in my mind that I would be on easy street because the first one was so easy. Boy was I wrong. They couldn't be any more different.

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## Tik-Tok

> Serious question: Is there actually any harm in just allowing him to eat it?



Have you seen how often dry kibble recalls happen? It's a lot.

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## JfuckinC

> I don't know why I thought my second kid would be like my first one. I had it in my mind that I would be on easy street because the first one was so easy. Boy was I wrong. They couldn't be any more different.



stoppppp, let me live this lie for two more months.

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## arcticcat522

> Another useful tip that is insanely effective for our kids is using a timer. We use one for everything from sharing a toy they both seem to want, to TV time, to playing before we have to leave anywhere. Anything that was previously a fight and you can associate a time frame too has been made so much easier. For example there is a park on the walk back from daycare, before if we stopped it was a nightmare getting them to leave when it was time to keep going home but as we walk up we tell them we are going to set a timer for 10 minutes and when it goes off its time to go. I have them press the "start" button on my phone so they have some involvement and off they go. The other day they were fighting over riding a scooter on the deck so we set 2 minute timers where each got a turn and repeated that until they were over it. Its been one of the most effective tools we've had.



This works for us too. Our 4 yr old is good if he has a time frame. Most of the time.

----------


## killramos

I’m starting to get the sense that kids can be little shits at all ages or something…

----------


## suntan

My kids now: "I can't do the dishes, I have to study!"

----------


## killramos

Tell me you are Asian without telling me

----------


## suntan

Buster told me I'm white.

----------


## sabad66

Easy way to win dad of the year award is to buy this at Sunridge Costco:


A steal at $30. We put our kids’ towels and pyjamas in here before bath time and they love it. We went thru a phase where they hated baths but now we mention the warm pjs after and they love it again.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Husband of the year too for your wife. Warm towel and pj's and a long bath while you handle kids.

----------


## vengie

Going to need to find my Costco card. 
That's something I need that I didn't realize I needed.

----------


## 90_Shelby

You guys don’t own clothes dryers?

----------


## bjstare

> You guys don’t own clothes dryers?



My dryer is 4 flights of stairs away from my kids bathroom.

----------


## 90_Shelby

> My dryer is 4 flights of stairs away from my kids bathroom.



5 story house!  :Shock: 

Humble brag?

----------


## killramos

Such flex. Much stairs

Either that or it’s in the communal laundry in the basement of his apartment building  :ROFL!:

----------


## nismodrifter

> My dryer is 4 flights of stairs away from my kids bathroom.



Ballin.

----------


## ExtraSlow

True ballin is a bungalow.

----------


## suntan

Can’t even afford a second dryer.

----------


## bjstare

> True ballin is a bungalow.



My post was a commentary on how poorly my house is laid out. I can't wait to move to a bungalow.

----------


## JfuckinC

Number 2 came a week early last week, so now I’m designated toddler dad. Way more work than expected lol.

Anyone know how to secure a child seat in the back seat of an S14? The seat belt is too loose for sure..

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> Number 2 came a week early last week, so now Im designated toddler dad. Way more work than expected lol.
> 
> Anyone know how to secure a child seat in the back seat of an S14? The seat belt is too loose for sure..



It should tighten (not release) during any sudden stop or accident. You rely on that, non?

----------


## killramos

We used bungee chords when I was a kid?

----------


## JfuckinC

I gave it a reasonably quick tug and it had a lot of play lol

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> I gave it a reasonably quick tug and it had a lot of play lol



Maybe whatever that safety retractor thing isn't working correctly and needs to be replaced. But in a back seat? I doubt it.

----------


## vengie

> Number 2 came a week early last week, so now I’m designated toddler dad. Way more work than expected lol.
> 
> Anyone know how to secure a child seat in the back seat of an S14? The seat belt is too loose for sure..



You're fucked. 

10 weeks in to baby #2. 
 :Whipped:

----------


## ExtraSlow

Babies!

----------


## DonJuan

> Number 2 came a week early last week, so now I’m designated toddler dad. Way more work than expected lol.
> 
> Anyone know how to secure a child seat in the back seat of an S14? The seat belt is too loose for sure..



I've offered to put one in mine... wife was a hard no because of noise level and exhaust fumes.

But if you do really want to get it in, get one of these buckles, its how they used to do it back in the day. It's called a seatbelt lock clip or something like that.



My bad, stupid pic didn't work.

----------


## SJW

> Babies!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmgb...dicusTheDamned

----------


## JfuckinC

> I've offered to put one in mine... wife was a hard no because of noise level and exhaust fumes.
> 
> But if you do really want to get it in, get one of these buckles, its how they used to do it back in the day. It's called a seatbelt lock clip or something like that.
> 
> Attachment 106677



attachment doesn't work, but i googled and i think ill try one of those haha.. I don't find my car too fumey, i only need to have her in the car for 5 mins before and after work to and from dayhome... just wanna save some money on gas here haha

----------


## Buster

> Number 2 came a week early last week, so now Im designated toddler dad. Way more work than expected lol.
> 
> Anyone know how to secure a child seat in the back seat of an S14? The seat belt is too loose for sure..



Congrats!

The image in my head:

----------


## cycosis

> Number 2 came a week early last week, so now Im designated toddler dad. Way more work than expected lol.
> 
> Anyone know how to secure a child seat in the back seat of an S14? The seat belt is too loose for sure..




Alright way too much misinformation being given here. In a prior job, I was a certified car seat tech (yea those are a thing).

Need some info from ya. Is your kiddo rear facing or forward facing and what carseat do you have them in?

If rear facing, you can use EITHER the UAS (universal anchor system) clips OR the seatbelt. Not both. 

If you are forward facing, and your child is under 40 lbs, you can use UAS clips OR seatbelt, but you MUST also use the top anchor. If your car does not have a top anchor, you cannot legally or safely use any forward facing carseat in your vehicle until you have one installed.

Being that your car is older, you may not have UAS anchor points at all. So you're stuck with a seat belt install. If this is the case, you now need to figure how to lock your seatbelt. You'll need to determine if the seatbelt's retractor is only an emergency locking retractor (meaning it locks when you pull on it quick, but releases if pull on it gently), or if it is a switchable locking retractor (meaning if you pull all the webbing out, the seat belt is then locked as you feed it back in - you'll hear a ratcheting sound - and you can only pull it out again if you feed it all back in first).

If you an emergency only locking retractor, you'll need a locking clip and they are a pain. If you have a switchable retractor, there are numerous videos online demonstration how to install car seats with this method in a secure manner.

Now, this is where your carseat model matters because some newer carseats have built in seatbelt locks, which enable you to skip dealing with your vehicle's retractor and makes the install much easier. Every brand/model is different, but let me know cause Im pretty familiar with all of them.

Over 90% of carseats are installed incorrectly and frankly, if its not done properly, you may as well stick your kid on the roof cause you're providing no benefit from a harm reduction perspective during a collision.

Cycosis recommends the following:

1. Read your damn carseat manual cover to cover. 
2. Understand the terminology.
3. Know the weight and height limits of your carseat for both positions (if applicable).
4. Learn what installation options you have specific to the vehicle your are installing the car seat in.
5. Practice the install. If the carseat just slides around on the vehicle's upholstery once you think its 'installed', you've done a terrible job. The goal is to make the carseat part of the frame of the vehicle as much as possible. You should have less than 1" of lateral movement in any direction. When you go to move the car seat, the vehicle should rock back and forth on the suspension, the carseat should not move.

Hit me up with any questions, feel free to post pictures.

----------


## Darell_n

> I've offered to put one in mine... wife was a hard no because of noise level and exhaust fumes.
> 
> Attachment 106677



You’re talking about having a kid, right?

----------


## killramos

I feel like it might need to be explained that I was joking about the bungie chords… lol

----------


## SJW

> I feel like it might need to be explained that I was joking about the bungie chords… lol



I understood you were being facetious. I have goodly brains.

----------


## cycosis

> I feel like it might need to be explained that I was joking about the bungie chords… lol



Worked some carseat checkstops, can confirm, bungie cords/ratchet straps/duct tape have all been observed.

----------


## schurchill39

> Worked some carseat checkstops, can confirm, bungie cords/ratchet straps/duct tape have all been observed.



Holy shit.... thats fucked.

----------


## cycosis

> Holy shit.... thats fucked.



My all time favourite was someone was using a plastic bath seat and then had rolls of duct tape in the footwell. They literally taped their kid each time and then used scissors to cut them out.

*This was not observed by me, but a lead trainer at ST Johns ambulance.

----------


## suntan

I once saw a family in a Toyota pass me, the kid was in the front seat in the mom's lap. I then passed them as a cop pulled them over a couple of lights up.

----------


## rage2

> My all time favourite was someone was using a plastic bath seat and then had rolls of duct tape in the footwell. They literally taped their kid each time and then used scissors to cut them out.
> 
> *This was not observed by me, but a lead trainer at ST Johns ambulance.



Damn that’s insane. Everyone knows you need flex tape for truly securing the child.

----------


## taemo

> Worked some carseat checkstops, can confirm, bungie cords/ratchet straps/duct tape have all been observed.



what era was this, Calgary quadrant and family ethnicity? lol

----------


## 90_Shelby

Dog owners do this all the time as well. I can only imagine a dog between someone’s face and an air bag going off……

Woof!

----------


## JfuckinC

great info Cycosis, i will take it all in and try and make it work...

I don't think it's going to work though, so my hopes are not high haha

----------


## schurchill39

> Cycosis recommends the following:
> 
> 1. Read your damn carseat manual cover to cover. 
> 2. Understand the terminology.
> 3. Know the weight and height limits of your carseat for both positions (if applicable).
> 4. Learn what installation options you have specific to the vehicle your are installing the car seat in.
> 5. Practice the install. If the carseat just slides around on the vehicle's upholstery once you think its 'installed', you've done a terrible job. The goal is to make the carseat part of the frame of the vehicle as much as possible. You should have less than 1" of lateral movement in any direction. When you go to move the car seat, the vehicle should rock back and forth on the suspension, the carseat should not move.
> 
> Hit me up with any questions, feel free to post pictures.



This whole post was great. It should be stickied in the Parenting subforum

----------


## bjstare

> Any dads of younger kids need a distracting toy? Not joking these are wicked for ages like 3-8. Free.
> Attachment 103889



All done with these. Free to the next dad that wants to pick them up. Still lots of paper left. 
@Pacman
?

----------


## Pacman

> All done with these. Free to the next dad that wants to pick them up. Still lots of paper left. 
> @Pacman
> ?



Thanks man. I ended up buying one. HOpefully someone else can use them.

----------


## Ekliptix

> Number 2 came a week early last week, so now Im designated toddler dad. Way more work than expected lol.
> 
> Anyone know how to secure a child seat in the back seat of an S14? The seat belt is too loose for sure..



I get in the car and put my knee into the child seat. This pressure, while pulling the everloving shit out of the seat belt while wiggling gets mine as tight as possible.

----------


## nismodrifter

Yeah that's the only way to do it.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

Said she what that's.

----------


## JfuckinC

That’s what I do to get those UAS things in on my truck and suv, but I can’t get this sucker tight in the S14 haha and there’s no anchor so cycosis says it’s not legal anyway! SOL gotta keep burnin fuel in the dodge.

----------


## 90_Shelby

Dude, get off your wallet and buy my wagon. You have two kids and no cool cars to haul them around and I need to buy another Trackhawk.

Let’s do this!

----------


## DonJuan

> I've offered to put one in mine... wife was a hard no because of noise level and exhaust fumes.
> 
> But if you do really want to get it in, get one of these buckles, its how they used to do it back in the day. It's called a seatbelt lock clip or something like that.
> 
> ...






> You’re talking about having a kid, right?



Literal GOLD

----------


## JfuckinC

90_shelby i'm at my limit for cars (as decided by my wife) already haha

Cycosis, What about in the front seat of a car with no air bags? (safety air bags at least lol) I can strap the seat down with a seat belt, and connect the anchor strap to the harness bar on the roll bar haha....

----------


## 90_Shelby

> 90_shelby i'm at my limit for cars (as decided by my wife) already haha
> 
> Cycosis, What about in the front seat of a car with no air bags? (safety air bags at least lol) I can strap the seat down with a seat belt, and connect the anchor strap to the harness bar on the roll bar haha....



I wasn't suggesting the wagon in addition, I was suggesting the wagon as a replacement. Sell the Camaro and S14, the wagon is probably faster, out stops and handles both anyways, while also safely transporting children! 

It's a no brainer really.

Your wife will thank me for the suggestion.

----------


## sabad66

Anyone else notice a shortage on children’s Tylenol lately? I haven’t seen the 3 pack at Costco for at least a couple months now, and even the singles at other grocery store pharmacies are sold out. Infant stuff is around, but just the ages 2-11 is hard to find

Also can’t even find this herbal cough syrup…can’t remember the name but it had a frog on it. Just went to 3 pharmacies and none had it.

Wtf is going on? Thx biden!!!

----------


## colsankey

Tylenol's been super hard to get, every 4-5 weeks I see a single bottle sitting on the shelf at Safeway and snap it up, and so far we've just gotten by that way. But I don't like not having an extra bottle around.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

Agree it's been hard to find.
You'll potentially need a full dose of Tylenol plus a full dose of Advil to curb the rampant fever that often comes with CoVid for kids 2-9.

----------


## ExtraSlow

unless the kid is really tiny, a single regular strength adult pill is fine for kids. Assuming they are old enough to swallow pills I guess.

----------


## RX_EVOLV

> Anyone else notice a shortage on children’s Tylenol lately? I haven’t seen the 3 pack at Costco for at least a couple months now, and even the singles at other grocery store pharmacies are sold out. Infant stuff is around, but just the ages 2-11 is hard to find
> 
> Also can’t even find this herbal cough syrup…can’t remember the name but it had a frog on it. Just went to 3 pharmacies and none had it.
> 
> Wtf is going on? Thx biden!!!



We've been ordering the herbal cough or cough and cold from Amazon. Same (or cheaper) price and always in stock.

Superstore 64ave had 2 bottles of children Tylenol left about 30 mins ago.

----------


## killramos

Does anyone make a quality forward facing only ( non convertible ) harness car seat for young toddlers ( 20-30lb ).

Serious question.

Lots of forward only boosters. But finding a decent one that is a harness seems annoying.

Trying to find something with less bulk to use forward only in my car.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> Does anyone make a quality forward facing only ( non convertible ) harness car seat for young toddlers ( 20-30lb ).
> 
> Serious question.
> 
> Lots of forward only boosters. But finding a decent one that is a harness seems annoying.
> 
> Trying to find something with less bulk to use forward only in my car.



Yes... But it's bulky as shit, heavy like depleted uranium and will damage your seats without a pad.
Diono.

----------


## killramos

I have a diono seat… It is a convertible. To my understanding Diono don’t make a FORWARD ONLY harness seat.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> I have a diono seat It is a convertible. To my understanding Diono dont make a FORWARD ONLY harness seat.



You might be correct and reading > me on that. Mine wasn't, but I was still pretty sure they made one.
Either way fuck them and their 40kg seats

----------


## killramos

The exact problem I am trying to solve

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> The exact problem I am trying to solve



Stop mansplaining

----------


## killramos

I only wish I was

----------


## bjstare

The diono might be heavy, but it’s pretty compact. You’ll have a hard time finding anything smaller, I’d imagine.

----------


## killramos

I figured it was a question worth asking.

It shocks me that there is no slimmer option than a convertible.

----------


## schurchill39

> Does anyone make a quality forward facing only ( non convertible ) harness car seat for young toddlers ( 20-30lb ).
> 
> Serious question.
> 
> Lots of forward only boosters. But finding a decent one that is a harness seems annoying.
> 
> Trying to find something with less bulk to use forward only in my car.



We have the Grow-With-You ClickTight car seats from Britax for our 4 year old. Its a harness seat that converts to a booster. They start at 25lbs based on the website.

----------


## skandalouz_08

> Does anyone make a quality forward facing only ( non convertible ) harness car seat for young toddlers ( 20-30lb ).
> 
> Serious question.
> 
> Lots of forward only boosters. But finding a decent one that is a harness seems annoying.
> 
> Trying to find something with less bulk to use forward only in my car.



I bought a forward only one off Amazon. It's light and I'd recommend a seat cover. It's pretty big though, my 4 year old sits in it and has tons of room plus built in cupholders. I don't remember the brand but it's just one of those random cheaper brands. Think it was around $150 and works as our second seat in the car that she doesn't ride in daily.

----------


## vengie

We use the Graco 4 Ever for my older son, and will buy another when the infant is out of his carrier.

Size wise, a buddy of mine has the same chair in his S4, and I saw a Taycan with the same seat once haha.

----------


## nismodrifter

+1 Graco 4ever (purchased 2 as result of Beyonds strong recommendation in another thread). But that is a convertible rear/front seat. I don't think he wants that?

----------


## killramos

Yea I have a 3QX diono convertible and a britax convertible (what a piece of junk compared to the diono btw).

Just wondering if anyone knew of a forward only harness seat that is slimmer than the convertibles. Basically a seat for kids 2-4 years old only rather than this swath of seats that accommodate everything from a newborn to an 8 year old. I can only manage this accommodation adds bulk hence the curiosity.

My thesis is these seats have gotten out of hand trying to be one size fits all.

----------


## 88CRX

> My thesis is these seats have gotten out of hand trying to be one size fits all.



Can confirm. Trying to switch from our Uppababy infant car seat to a convertible seat... FML x 1,000,000. There are no less than a dozen stickers on the side. "Do this", "Must not do this!".... "Warning"!!!!

----------


## arcticcat522

Not sure what justifies convertible, we have a couple Clek's that apparently can fit 3 a across in a bunch of vehicles. They seem big to me still. Looking forward to getting the oldest into a booster this winter.

----------


## killramos

If it can be both rear facing and forward facing its a convertible?

----------


## ExtraSlow

The day you switch to boosters is a great day.

----------


## suntan

Just drive in reverse then it’s forward facing.

----------


## cycosis

> If it can be both rear facing and forward facing its a convertible?



Yes

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> The day you switch to boosters is a great day.



Somehow, there is no actual legislation regarding _booster_ seats in the province of Alberta.

----------


## killramos

Coming from a guy who spend a lot of his childhood laying on a foam pad in the bed of a pickup I am not overly sympathetic to these regulations.

----------


## cycosis

> Yea I have a 3QX diono convertible and a britax convertible (what a piece of junk compared to the diono btw).
> 
> Just wondering if anyone knew of a forward only harness seat that is slimmer than the convertibles. Basically a seat for kids 2-4 years old only rather than this swath of seats that accommodate everything from a newborn to an 8 year old. I can only manage this accommodation adds bulk hence the curiosity.
> 
> My thesis is these seats have gotten out of hand trying to be one size fits all.




Just wanting to offer some clarity here on convertible seats and combo harness/booster seats.

Most convertible seats go to either 65lbs or 49". Thats a big kid, hence why they are wider than infant car seats (the one with the handle).

The forward facing only seat that are combo harness than booster are usually even wider because in harness mode, they accommodate up to 65lbs and varying height restrictions depending on the brand. Britax for example, with their Pioneer/frontier/Pinnacle line (now Grow with you), go to 57" inches tall vs the 49" for a typical convertible seat.

BUT, these seats also convert to a booster seat which then has a weight capacity of up to 120 lbs! They are wide. Booster seats are also wider because the arm rests are part of the safety system which holds the lap belt in place over the kids legs, rather than riding up over their abdomen. 


Many people fall for the marketing gimmick of '3 across'. Most cars cannot have 3 seats installed properly on the same row, even if they are narrow seats such as the Dionos or the Cleks. Its all bullshit. 

It gets even worse when you try to do 3 booster seats side by side or convertible seats next to booster seats because you cant access the vehicles latch plate to secure the seatbelt as there is no clearance.

----------


## DonJuan

> ...
> Many people fall for the marketing gimmick of '3 across'. Most cars cannot have 3 seats installed properly on the same row, even if they are narrow seats such as the Dionos or the Cleks. Its all bullshit. 
> 
> It gets even worse when you try to do 3 booster seats side by side or convertible seats next to booster seats because you cant access the vehicles latch plate to secure the seatbelt as there is no clearance.



Just the thought of 3 kids across made my head twinge. All that forward facing noise... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

----------


## ExtraSlow

> Somehow, there is no actual legislation regarding _booster_ seats in the province of Alberta.



This doesn't bother me at all. Fucking gubbermints.

Don't have three kids without a three row vehicle. Or at all.

----------


## JfuckinC

> Just the thought of 3 kids across made my head twinge. All that forward facing noise... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa



my sister has 3, rode home from a wedding with them saturday, it was chaos. My wife keeps asking if we can try for a third so we get a boy.. haha passsssssss.

----------


## killramos

Cool.

So does anyone make a simple forward facing only, namely does not convert to rear facing, harness car seat that is designed to accommodate a 2-4 year old. That isn’t 30 inches wide with a relatively slim back.

I am getting the sense that the answer is no. But it seems people are very confused by my question.

----------


## DonJuan

> my sister has 3, rode home from a wedding with them saturday, it was chaos. My wife keeps asking if we can try for a third so we get a boy.. haha passsssssss.



I think I'd have a stroke.

Adopt a 14 year old. Nice and quiet and give them money and they will leave you alone.

Ok maybe not "nice".




> Cool.
> So does anyone make a simple forward facing only, namely does not convert to rear facing, harness car seat that is designed to accommodate a 2-4 year old. That isn’t 30 inches wide with a relatively slim back....



Our travel seat and the one I have in my car is the Evenflo Titan 65. Its light and slim back and my daughter doesn't mind being in it even for long drives. I just measured it and its ~22" wide.

Our main seat is the Graco 4 Ever, ... a fukin' beast.

----------


## arcticcat522

> Many people fall for the marketing gimmick of '3 across'. Most cars cannot have 3 seats installed properly on the same row, even if they are narrow seats such as the Dionos or the Cleks. Its all bullshit.



Good info. I was just using it as in "they are narrower than others"

----------


## schurchill39

> Cool.
> 
> So does anyone make a simple forward facing only, namely does not convert to rear facing, harness car seat that is designed to accommodate a 2-4 year old. That isnt 30 inches wide with a relatively slim back.
> 
> I am getting the sense that the answer is no. But it seems people are very confused by my question.



 :dunno:  I answered your question. Our 4 year old is in it with a full harness




> We have the Grow-With-You ClickTight car seats from Britax for our 4 year old. Its a harness seat that converts to a booster. They start at 25lbs based on the website.

----------


## killramos

> I answered your question. Our 4 year old is in it with a full harness



I’ll take a look at that. We have a Britax convertible and it’s terrible but maybe this is better.

----------


## schurchill39

We bought one to see if we liked it and after a couple weeks bought a second one for the other vehicle. With the click tight installation is super easy and it fits my kid great. Seems solid. The fabric isn't as plush as what we had in the Clek but its also way easier to clean when he barfed in it.

----------


## cycosis

> I’ll take a look at that. We have a Britax convertible and it’s terrible but maybe this is better.



What do you not like about your britax convertible? Is it a clicktight (white plastic hull) or the classic style (Black plastic hull)? I sold thousands of those things

Id recommend the britax grow with me seats as they are the newer version of the pioneer/frontier. Theyre wide though....

----------


## killramos

It’s a click tight convertible.

It’s extremely difficult to tighten and loosen the harness, 100x worse than my diono.

We have basically just resorted to leaving the harness in fully tightened position at all times because it’s so hit or miss whether you will be able to get it tight again after you loosen.

Have removed it and taken it apart several times to ensure the belt paths are all without tangles etc. always clear. The seat just sucks.

Very hesitant to buy another.

----------


## cycosis

> It’s a click tight convertible.
> 
> It’s extremely difficult to tighten and loosen the harness, 100x worse than my diono.
> 
> We have basically just resorted to leaving the harness in fully tightened position at all times because it’s so hit or miss whether you will be able to get it tight again after you loosen.
> 
> Have removed it and taken it apart several times to ensure the belt paths are all without tangles etc. always clear. The seat just sucks.
> 
> Very hesitant to buy another.




Hate to say it but theres something going on with your seat. Im very familiar with the platform and that harness should be flowing very easily.


One thing I found happened somewhat often was that the foam of cushions could drift downwards. This would cause excessive friction on the webbing of the harness. Other issues includes food or debris getting caught in the webbing lock, or improperly fed webbing through the various paths.

I dunno if you live down south but Id be more than happy to take a look at it for ya.

Also, if youre kiddo is forward facing, make sure the webbing is going straight into teh back of the seat or slightly above the shoulder line. If its going below the shoulder, your headrest is set far too low and that will increase the difficulty in tightening the harness.

----------


## killramos

She is still rear facing for now, so path below shoulders still.

Will review the paths again. But it’s been very frustrating to say the least.

Is she 12 yet?

----------


## bjstare

Lol if you think car seats are a headache, good luck with a teenage girl.

My girl is 4, and I’m perfectly happy to deal with the challenges she gives us now haha.

----------


## dirtsniffer

> Cool.
> 
> So does anyone make a simple forward facing only, namely does not convert to rear facing, harness car seat that is designed to accommodate a 2-4 year old. That isnt 30 inches wide with a relatively slim back.
> 
> I am getting the sense that the answer is no. But it seems people are very confused by my question.



https://www.britax.ca/grow-with-you-...-booster-asher

This is what I have. Looks like it is 20" wide.

Haven't had the same issues that you've had. But if you do buy this, be aware the base versions foam isn't the same as the click tight and it can be squeaky as shit.

----------


## arcticcat522

Since we are talking g about kids seats and such, we are about to move 1 kid to a booster....hopefully before family vacation. What is the diferance between booster with a back and with out? With back offers some added safety? Or what? Anyone have some forst world experience?

----------


## ExtraSlow

Small kids need the "belt positioning booster" to keep the belt from decapitating them. Get the basic graco from Walmart and don't worry.

----------


## haggis88

After a gruelling 35 minute labour, my wife brought our daughters into the world on Friday evening, 6 minutes apart

6lbs 5oz and 5lbs 8oz, all home Saturday morning and doing amazing

Can't say enough good things about the Friday dayshift crew at South Health Campus, absolute night and day from Rockyview where our son was born

----------


## ExtraSlow

Congratulations

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

Healthy, full-term size for twins. You're amazingly lucky!
Congrats - they are adorable.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Settle down, let's not resort to lies.

----------


## Tik-Tok

Congrats, and good luck.

----------


## brucebanner

Congrats and good luck!

----------


## mr2mike

Congratulations!!

----------


## bjstare

Congrats man!

----------


## haggis88

Thanks all, haven't slept since Friday but that's all good haha

----------


## gmc72

Congratulations!!!! Good to hear everyone is doing fine!!

----------


## vengie

> Thanks all, haven't slept since Friday but that's all good haha



Hahah get used to it!

Congrats, very exciting.

----------


## killramos

Im never not tired anymore.

And I only have 1  :ROFL!:

----------


## SJW

Remind me: 15 years from now how 2 teen girls will shit on your soul.

Oh and congrats.

----------


## JfuckinC

twins, mental! Congrats and good luck.


I cant remember where we got on the child seat discussion, if i can strap my kids seat down with the lap buckle, and anchor it to my harness bar on my roll cage in the camaro am i legal? Don't want to take her out on the highway or anything dangerous but just a cruise around the neighborhood cause she loves loud cars haha (front seat obviouslt, also definitely no air bags other than the suspension)

----------


## 88CRX

> twins, mental! Congrats and good luck.
> 
> 
> I cant remember where we got on the child seat discussion, if i can strap my kids seat down with the lap buckle, and anchor it to my harness bar on my roll cage in the camaro am i legal? Don't want to take her out on the highway or anything dangerous but just a cruise around the neighborhood cause she loves loud cars haha (front seat obviouslt, also definitely no air bags other than the suspension)



Post in you local community facebook group... all the mom's will be able to help answer that question. Bonus points for posting a video of how loud your vehicle is (for reference purposes).

----------


## JfuckinC

I’d rather avoid Facebook moms hahaha

----------


## DonJuan

> I’d rather avoid Facebook moms hahaha



Those Karens will call social services on you, guaranteed.

And Congratulations!!! 
@haggis88
 They are adorable.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Facebook is more dangerous than covid.

----------


## tirebob

> Facebook is more dangerous than covid.



Twins are more dangerous than Facebook...

Congrats Steve!!! You are so fucked now hahaha! You will have no sleep or a free minute to enjoy a beer for years to come. Want to come back to work for the fall just for an excuse to leave the house?  :ROFL!:

----------


## 4WARNED

Congrats! father of twin 15 year old girls myself....i don't miss the newborn stage. but it's all worth it.

----------


## suntan

> Remind me: 15 years from now how 2 teen girls will shit on your soul.
> 
> Oh and congrats.



I'm at that phase right now.

And congrats!

----------


## 88CRX

Someone please tell me there is an end to daycare sickness for a 1 year old.

The mini made the first 2 weeks with a healthy start… which was then followed by a cold/cough, then a fever flu thing (she got sent home for a week), recovered for a week and then there was a hand, foot and mouth outbreak (got that one, another 10 days at home), back to daycare for a few days and now we have another god damn cold/cough/miserable baby. We’ve had 9+ weeks of sick someone in the house, with the little one sick for pretty much all of it. 

What in the sweet fuck. When does it get better?

----------


## grampafunk

It doesn't. Both experiences with daycare for kids that were older (one started at 2.5, other started at 2) they were sick every other week the entire time they were there. 

It was russian roulette as to whether my wife and I got sick. Our little guy is now in kindergarten and it seems to be a bit better. Our little girl though has been sick for months on end.

----------


## JfuckinC

Yahhhh, no. Dirty daycare disease is constant, enjoy!!  :ROFL!:

----------


## gwill

> Someone please tell me there is an end to daycare sickness for a 1 year old.
> 
> The mini made the first 2 weeks with a healthy start… which was then followed by a cold/cough, then a fever flu thing (she got sent home for a week), recovered for a week and then there was a hand, foot and mouth outbreak (got that one, another 10 days at home), back to daycare for a few days and now we have another god damn cold/cough/miserable baby. We’ve had 9+ weeks of sick someone in the house, with the little one sick for pretty much all of it. 
> 
> What in the sweet fuck. When does it get better?



Grandma watches our 2 and 3 yr old for us on days we both work during the week. We don't deal with day care and yet they still have run into big issues with getting sick.

Take the kids to church? They got sick. Take the kids on a play date? got sick. Take em to a play place? They got sick. 

Not much you can do.

----------


## Tik-Tok

> What in the sweet fuck. When does it get better?



Years. Literally. 

If it's any consolation, even if your kid didn't go to daycare, when they started kindergarten the exact same thing would happen. It's a right of passage that every kid (and parent) must endure.

----------


## killramos

Advil and Tylenol are a godsend.

----------


## npham

> Advil and Tylenol are a godsend.



Not when there's a shortage going around...

----------


## ExtraSlow

Ends around age 7

----------


## killramos

> Not when there's a shortage going around...



I think that’s been resolved, also compounding pharmacies can make that shit for you if need be

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

You'll experience a radical improvement in about a 6-12 months, but they will still get sick fairly frequently. Let's be honest, if it continued at this rate, everyone would be unemployed and Western Canadians aren't allowed to do that. Only Laurentian Elites and Maritimers.




> I think thats been resolved, also compounding pharmacies can make that shit for you if need be



It has not, that I've seen. Liquids still very rare.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Fuck kids

----------


## 88CRX

Thanks comrades. Time to go chug some cough meds and then pray the little one sleeps through the night.

----------


## Doozer

> I think that’s been resolved, also compounding pharmacies can make that shit for you if need be



And note, the stuff from compounding pharmacies only lasts 2 weeks so it's for immediate use, not "buy a box and keep it around for later".

----------


## mr2mike

The pharmacies in my area that make meds for you are home based, not on google and I think they just work with sudafed.

----------


## suntan

Time to feed the kid whiskey like in the olden days.

----------


## Darkane

> Fuck kids



That’s the Vegas talking

----------


## Tik-Tok

> That’s the Vegas talking



At least he's not saying that on Little Saint James island

----------


## Darkane

> At least he's not saying that on Little Saint James island



Phrasing is everything. One comma gun git u canceld

----------


## spike98

> Someone please tell me there is an end to daycare sickness for a 1 year old.
> 
> The mini made the first 2 weeks with a healthy start which was then followed by a cold/cough, then a fever flu thing (she got sent home for a week), recovered for a week and then there was a hand, foot and mouth outbreak (got that one, another 10 days at home), back to daycare for a few days and now we have another god damn cold/cough/miserable baby. Weve had 9+ weeks of sick someone in the house, with the little one sick for pretty much all of it. 
> 
> What in the sweet fuck. When does it get better?



Watch for ear infections as they are pretty common in little kids and can be quite effectively fixed with tubes. Our guy was sick constantly (once every 2-3 weeks). High fever 41C. Got tubes in, and he has only been sick twice this year.

----------


## schurchill39

> Fuck kids



I would highly recommend not doing that.

----------


## Kloubek

> Someone please tell me there is an end to daycare sickness for a 1 year old.
> 
> What in the sweet fuck. When does it get better?



Yeah, it truly sucks when children are introduced to all the viruses in daycares. Kids are drooling, licking messes and it's a bloody cesspool of illness. I think most parents go through this.

Here's the thing: At this age, everything hits them hard; their immune system is not fully developed, so they contract everything. Once you get past the stage of the kids leaking their fluids on everything, and they start to build their immunities, it does subside - but it's a slow process.

----------


## killramos

Tbh I get way more sick from the shut my kid brings home than she does.

----------


## DonJuan

> Yeah, it truly sucks when children are introduced to all the viruses in daycares. Kids are drooling, licking messes and it's a bloody cesspool of illness. I think most parents go through this.
> 
> Here's the thing: At this age, everything hits them hard; their immune system is not fully developed, so they contract everything. Once you get past the stage of the kids leaking their fluids on everything, and they start to build their immunities, it does subside - but it's a slow process.



This is exactly it. Ours would basically get sick every Friday eve. Suffer through the weekend and be good by Monday or Tuesday. This went on for a few months. It helps she is at a smaller day home, with only ~10 regular kids around. The day care facilities with like 30+ kids and new ones showing up all the time are much worse I feel. But you're building their immune system!

----------


## schurchill39

> Tbh I get way more sick from the shut my kid brings home than she does.



Me too. My kids will be mildly sick for like 3-4 days but if I catch it I am knocked on my ass for a week. The first time either one of my kids sniffles or has a runny nose I start popping Cold FX like tic tacs so I can try to stand a chance.

----------


## 88CRX

Can also confirm... I've been sick twice in past month and a half. Two of the worst flu/colds I've probably ever had. 

My wife, who never gets sick, caught the first cold and was very sick for a week or so.

----------


## Manhattan

Found this to be probably the worst part of kids that ppl don't really bring up. Worse than the sleep deprivation & tantrums. 

I've been sick roughly 1/3 of the year even thru the summer. Every time I catch something I find it takes 2 full weeks as an adult to fully recover - 1st week just completely knocked on my ass; 2nd week lingering symptoms like sinus infection or cough. It is SUPER frustrating so take solace in knowing we're all miserable too lol

----------


## bjstare

> I start popping Cold FX like tic tacs so I can try to stand a chance.



And you think Cold FX actually does something? Bless your heart.

----------


## nismodrifter

Have 2.5 year old boy. Can confirm I am in the same boat. Recurrent illness since at least August of this year. Upper resp, GI, just round after round. There is always a 1 day period when his symptoms resolve, and I am relieved........and then the next day I get the symptoms and get knocked completely flat.

----------


## 88CRX

> take solace in knowing we're all miserable too lol

----------


## schurchill39

> And you think Cold FX actually does something? Bless your heart.



I don't know what it does but for me it makes a material difference in either the duration or severity of my colds which is why I stick with it. We're 3.5 years into daycare colds with my oldest and 1.5 years into them with my youngest and there is a noticeable difference when I take it versus when I don't. Before I was crushing echinacea, vitamin C, vitamin D, and oil of oregano with some mild success but I seem to have better success with the Cold FX concoction. The same goes for when I used to do camp work back in the day, I'm way better off when I take it when the sniffles start around me versus when I don't. 

I'm all ears for anything else you might have that would be more effective in this constant battle with daycare illness. Especially if it doesn't come with the Cold FX price tag.

----------


## Tik-Tok

> I'm all ears for anything else you might have that would be more effective in this constant battle with daycare illness. Especially if it doesn't come with the Cold FX price tag.



It's just ginseng and vitamin C.

----------


## DonJuan

Costco sized bag of grapefruit/oranges and honey. Peel and eat the fruit. Boil the peels with ginger and sweeten with LOTS of honey.

Call in sick and fire up the xbox.

----------


## mr2mike

Ground pepper tea.
Disgusting and maybe it works.

1/4 cup of bleach for flavour if the above doesn't work.
(not a doctor).

----------


## Kloubek

> It's just ginseng and vitamin C.



This is pretty much it. And I dunno about ginseng, but taking vitamin C after you've already come down with the sickness is too late. It really should be part of everyone's daily regimen if they feel they have a deficiency.

----------


## 2Legit2Quit

Echinacea tea is tasty to drink with some honey and boosts your immune system 

Otherwise I hear honking fixes things.

----------


## DonJuan

> Otherwise I hear honking fixes things.



Fuck U. I just sprayed my monitor with grapefruit peel tea.

----------


## riander5

What is allowing you all to get sick so many times?

Really though, my poor kid gets sick from daycare every second week, I may just be miraculously lucky that I never seem to catch what she has. Maybe my immune system isn't working... I did feel the 'vid for a day when she brought that home last year though.

----------


## killramos

What do you mean “allowing”

----------


## ExtraSlow

That's a callback to something one of our legendary members said.

----------


## JustinL

> I'm all ears for anything else you might have that would be more effective in this constant battle with daycare illness. Especially if it doesn't come with the Cold FX price tag.



Well get plenty of rest, that should help. LOL, but with Toddlers GFL! 
I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Sleep is not on the menu.

----------


## Manhattan

> Call in sick and fire up the xbox.



I don't know about you guys but since covid & WFH if you are someone who works on a computer/office setting nobody ever takes a day off for illness unless they're hit by a bus. Maybe thats just culture at our company but its been impossible to take a sick day. Everyone worked thru their covid infections at home.  :Bang Head:  :Bang Head:  :Bang Head:

----------


## DonJuan

> I don't know about you guys but since covid & WFH if you are someone who works on a computer/office setting nobody ever takes a day off for illness unless they're hit by a bus. Maybe thats just culture at our company but its been impossible to take a sick day. Everyone worked thru their covid infections at home.



Yea, not me. I took min 2 days off when I was symptomatic. My company does allow us to WFH when sick etc but when I'm sick and I've notified them as being sick, I'm only "working on getting better".

I'm sure they would like me to work through sicknesses.

----------


## bjstare

> I don't know about you guys but since covid & WFH if you are someone who works on a computer/office setting nobody ever takes a day off for illness unless they're hit by a bus. Maybe thats just culture at our company but its been impossible to take a sick day. Everyone worked thru their covid infections at home.



Pretty similar for me. That being said, if people do have to take a day (or days) off for severe symptoms, we support it.

----------


## vengie

Daycare colds are worse than the god damn plague.

Living through it hard now... only 4 years left.....

----------


## riander5

> What do you mean “allowing”



You of all people should have caught that one. Well you and ES, and he caught it.

----------


## 88CRX

> I don't know about you guys but since covid & WFH if you are someone who works on a computer/office setting nobody ever takes a day off for illness unless they're hit by a bus. Maybe thats just culture at our company but its been impossible to take a sick day. Everyone worked thru their covid infections at home.



Lol. Can confirm. At the office sick. 

But did you die? No, then be in your desk.

----------


## sabad66

Anybody got a line on some children’s Tylenol / house brand equivalents? (Kids are picky, don’t want compounded stuff)

----------


## ExtraSlow

Liquid or chewable?

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

Don't just quit if the shelf is empty. The pharmacists are keeping it behind their counter because if humans will hoard anus paper, they will hoard 20x the baby medicine.

----------


## sabad66

Found some liquid age 2-11 at northland walmart. Last one apparently. Indeed it was behind the counter which is ridiculous. Thanks for the tip 
@90_Shelby
!!

----------


## 88CRX

I’ve been asking if they have it behind the counter. Multiple no’s so far this week.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Anyone who's truly deaparate with a currently sick child pm me. Everyone else, start training your kid to take real pills. It's very freeing.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

> Anyone who's truly deaparate with a currently sick child pm me. Everyone else, start training your kid to take real pills. It's very freeing.



That's awesome for you. I recall you saying one of your kids was seemingly incapable of getting the hang of that.

Marge-I-Parented.gif

----------


## ExtraSlow

Yeah we had issues, and one kind in particular needed a lot of these medications at times. 
But my kids are big now. We are past chewable and liquids.

----------


## haggis88

I'm in the states right now where there's no demand issues on kids medicine - anyone wants any, PM me asap and I'll get it 

Although I am in NYC so it's about $8USD for 24 chewables...didn't price the liquid (CVS own brand)

I'll be in San Jose next week also, so if you don't catch me immediately there's next week too  :ROFL!: 

Unfortunately no one I'm working with has a costco membership so I can't check there for formula etc  :Frown:

----------


## mr2mike

There's gotta be a crush and dissolve in fluid technique.
Guys on street do it all the time.

----------


## 2Legit2Quit

> There's gotta be a crush and dissolve in fluid technique.
> Guys on street do it all the time.



When I was a kid I didn't like swallowing pills so my mother would crush Tylenol on a spoon and add some water and sugar so it would taste better  :ROFL!: 

Poor people things?

----------


## ExtraSlow

I got a half-spoonful of jam.

----------


## mr2mike

> When I was a kid I didn't like swallowing pills so my mother would crush Tylenol on a spoon and add some water and sugar so it would taste better 
> 
> Poor people things?



Knew there was a solution for the solution.

----------


## suntan

> When I was a kid I didn't like swallowing pills so my mother would crush Tylenol on a spoon and add some water and sugar so it would taste better 
> 
> Poor people things?



Did she also heat it on the stove?

----------


## rage2

Aren’t all kids pills chewable anyways? By the time they graduate to real pills, it’s no longer my problem.

----------


## JfuckinC

Anyone else's kids sick for an extended period? did an Instagram poll, 98% said yes (80 votes lol)

damn near took my 6 months old to the hospital last night she was sounding so rough. Sick baby is shitty, our first one was a covid baby so she didn't even get sick in her first year.

After 8 days my 2 year old still has a nasty cough and tiny bit of runny nose. wifes been sick the whole time too, hasn't bothered me much more than a super mild cold yet though.

----------


## bjstare

Going on 8 weeks straight of one/both my kids (2, 4) being sick. For a decent portion of that, they sounded like pack a day smokers. Also brought home pink eye for the family earlier this month. It has been a rough go.

----------


## vengie

> Going on 8 weeks straight of one/both my kids (2, 4) being sick. For a decent portion of that, they sounded like pack a day smokers. Also brought home pink eye for the family earlier this month. It has been a rough go.



I am in the same boat.

Kids 3 and 8 months... Never ending illness... We are almost 4 months of someone in the house being sick at any given time. My wife and I are starting to go insane.

----------


## cycosis

I went through a period of anger last winter as my kiddo was constantly sick which inevitably led to my wife and I getting sick. There was no reprieve. From January, he got Covid, then pneumonia, then croup, then pink eye, the hand foot mouth, then a cold. Summer was great but weve now had two colds rip through the house since the start of the school year.

Im grateful hes 4.5 and can self entertain while I work from home but its gonna be a loooooong winter.

----------


## killramos

We had a bad wallop for a week or so on September but it’s actually been not bad since.

----------


## 88CRX

> Anyone else's kids sick for an extended period? did an Instagram poll, 98% said yes (80 votes lol)
> 
> damn near took my 6 months old to the hospital last night she was sounding so rough. Sick baby is shitty, our first one was a covid baby so she didn't even get sick in her first year.
> 
> After 8 days my 2 year old still has a nasty cough and tiny bit of runny nose. wifes been sick the whole time too, hasn't bothered me much more than a super mild cold yet though.



Shit is fucked up right now.

We are in perpetual sickness and have been for months now (like i posted a few weeks back). We have healthy spurts of like 2-3 days tops then someone is sick again. And our kid has had a cough for like 2+ months. 

I'm going to see my doctors as I've had a stomach flu thing twice in a month. Like fucking kill me now.

Also I just got over covid (mild), which the kiddo then got (fever gone in a couple days) and now a week later the wife has covid (while I'm too sick to even move out of bed). 

Is this from nobody spreading shit during covid or WTF?

edit: makes me feel a little better that we're not the only ones... its exhausting. And at times feel's like this can't be normal.

----------


## bjstare

> We had a bad wallop for a week or so on September but it’s actually been not bad since.



A week of being sick does not qualify as a bad wallop lol. Step up your game son.

@cycosis
 seems to be leading at the moment, and somehow doing it with only one kid in the house. Tell that little mf'er to stop licking doorknobs.

----------


## killramos

I consider a bad wallop to be a degree of severity rather than a measure of time.

If you have a runny nose for 3 weeks I’m unsympathetic compared to being literally bedridden for a few days.

----------


## riander5

Our 2 y/o has been sick for around 2 months straight. Respiratory to start, now constant runny nose and cough, had the flu last weekend and barfed a bunch. 

3 month old somehow has dodged most of the 2 y/o's shenanigans. I just have a constant runny nose now

----------


## you&me

Since Oct 1, we've had at least one kid home sick at least once a week, often several days a week and my oldest missed a full week... Nearly made it last week and the youngest stayed home on Friday. 

My wife and I had a bad couple of weeks, but aside from the odd cough or runny nose, we've been 'better' for 2 weeks now. 

It seems unrelenting and it's everywhere... My little guy only had 6 kids at school for his first ever class photo a few weeks ago.

----------


## ExtraSlow

A few years ago, one of the years before covid, we kept track and our one kid was only in attendance for 13 full weeks through the entire school year. Missed probably as many days as they attended total. That was a rough year. 
This year, kid is a lot older, but that same kid has missed a little over 3 weeks of school already, and we've sent them to school with obvious symptoms a few times so they don't fall too far behind. 

Rest of the family, it's been roughly typical, but that one kid, it's been rough.

----------


## 88CRX

> This year, kid is a lot older, but that same kid has missed a little over 3 weeks of school already, and we've sent them to school with obvious symptoms a few times so they don't fall too far behind.



Damn. Is this normal? I dont recall being home sick that much as a kid. 

WTF do people do who can't remote work from home?

----------


## ExtraSlow

don't take my kids as "normal" for anything. No idea what a normal kid looks like, I don't have any.

----------


## 88CRX

> don't take my kids as "normal" for anything. No idea what a normal kid looks like, I don't have any.



Hah, I hear ya. 

I guess I was totally clueless (and still am) as a new parent.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Young kids (0-7 years) get sick. Some more than others, whether from environment (daycare) or their own internal constitution. And the most basic "normal cold" can really knock a small kind on their ass. Fever, vomiting etc for a cold would be crazy for most adults, but common for kids. 

Anyway, I think this year a lot of kids are basically getting the illnesses they missed in the last 3 years. maybe.

----------


## killramos

To be fair, my kid never skips a beat.

It’s mom and dad who get their asses kicked.

----------


## schurchill39

My kids seem to switch off every week with who is too sick to go to daycare and who is going to be sick over the weekend. Last week was my 4.5 year old staying home thursday and friday but my 2.5 year old has had a constant night time cough for a few months now. It kind of sucks taking them to daycare and you see kids with a stream of green boogers dripping down their face and hacking up a lung but yet they are still there. Its seems like the director is sending out weekly emails with the "health checklist" and a reminder that if your kid is sick they cannot come to school. I bet her morning is just calling parents back to pick their petri dish up. I know when we caught covid back in June at least 6 other families caught it at the same time. 

Last week I was down with some sort of strep/throat infection followed by a stomach bug for a day. Its been a rough fall for us so far.

----------


## JustinL

Same boat for me. 1YO and 3YO always sick with something. I catch everything they bring home and it kicks my butt too. I got stupid hand foot and mouth and that was bad. Then it got to remind me for another 4 months while my fingernails grew out the damaged parts.

----------


## Swank

If my couch can pull out why couldn't you? 'Don't have kids' is the new 'Don't be poor'.

Kidding aside, the wife said there has been a noticeable increase in kids coming into emerg. Cold & flu season + COVID + RSV (new to me) = shitty time of year.

----------


## suntan

I remember when ERs had signs plastered all over them to go the fuck home if you had cold symptoms.

----------


## Tik-Tok

ITT: People who weren't aware that kids are germ factories.

----------


## vengie

> It kind of sucks taking them to daycare and you see kids with a stream of green boogers dripping down their face and hacking up a lung but yet they are still there.



This seriously struck a nerve.
I said this exact same thing to my wife three days ago.
To the point where I want to go full Karen and write a WTFBBQ email to the director.

----------


## bjstare

> This seriously struck a nerve.
> I said this exact same thing to my wife three days ago.
> To the point where I want to go full Karen and write a WTFBBQ email to the director.



Yeah it's unfortunate. That email will also make zero difference. Just manage your expectations haha.

----------


## sabad66

My son in kindergarten hasn’t had a full 5 day week yet since he started in September. We just finished a 3-4 week bout of sickness where he missed about 12 days in a row because he was so bad (3yo daughter along with my wife and I were also sick for a couple of days too). This might be his first full week finally. 

Thank god wife is a SAHM…I have no idea how people manage with daycares and 2 working parents.

----------


## JustinL

> Thank god wife is a SAHM…I have no idea how people manage with daycares and 2 working parents.



It is very difficult. If one of us can stay home for the whole day, then we burn a vacation day. If we have critical stuff we have to be at work for, then we'll split the day. My wife is her own boss and I have a very understanding manager at my work, so we can make it work... but it is very hard.

----------


## suntan

Kids are hard. The fun thing is raising them keeps being hard but the things that make it hard change.

----------


## bjstare



----------


## JfuckinC

im lucky my wife is still on mat leave. but i agree, one of my employees is dealing with it right now i feel bad, i need him here but his wife just went back after mat leave so its tough for her to miss work too. Both their kids were sick as well.

Kids are legit hard, but fuck the cute shit they do just melts my heart haha, big softy now.

I partially chalk it up to being the age where everyone is having kids so its more apparent to us all the sick kids haha

----------


## ExtraSlow

I think people underestimate how awesome and financially accessible it is to have only one working parent. The costs of daycare/nanny/extra time off etc is no joke. 

There are reasons other than money to have two working parents as well, I realize. That was the case in our house for sure.

----------


## tirebob

> I think people underestimate how awesome and financially accessible it is to have only one working parent. The costs of daycare/nanny/extra time off etc is no joke. 
> 
> There are reasons other than money to have two working parents as well, I realize. That was the case in our house for sure.



Chalk this fellow up for having a stay at home wife with our kids and absolutely zero regertz...

----------


## JfuckinC

I'd love my wife to be a Stay at home mom... But she loves her job and would lose seniority and her line and whatever else happens with union bull shit lol

----------


## lasimmon

Have my first on the way in about 6 months. Not gonna lie, pretty nervous/excited/extremely concerned. 

Was nice reading through this thread. Lots of info and good experiences to read.

----------


## ExtraSlow

> Have my first on the way in about 6 months. Not gonna lie, pretty nervous/excited/extremely concerned. 
> 
> Was nice reading through this thread. Lots of info and good experiences to read.



Those are the appropriate emotions. Best wishes bro, you know we are all here for you.

----------


## Buster

> Have my first on the way in about 6 months. Not gonna lie, pretty nervous/excited/extremely concerned. 
> 
> Was nice reading through this thread. Lots of info and good experiences to read.



Rip

----------


## lasimmon

> Those are the appropriate emotions. Best wishes bro, you know we are all here for you.



Thanks ES!




> Rip



Funny, my dad said the same!

----------


## Buster

> Funny, my dad said the same!



The person you were and would become is gone forever. All that is left is the inevitable drudgery and entertaining the delusion that things might be different for you than the countless generations that came before.

----------


## XylathaneGTR

Took my 20.5month old to the science center this morning and the pool this afternoon. Man she's a blast. No regertz at all...kids are a lot of fun.

----------


## 89coupe

> The person you were and would become is gone forever. All that is left is the inevitable drudgery and entertaining the delusion that things might be different for you than the countless generations that came before.



I think this is bullshit, its easy to have a life balance between kids and a social life.

----------


## Buster

> I think this is bullshit, it’s easy to have a life balance between kids and a social life.



but how much experience do you have with kid*S*

----------


## 89coupe

> but how much experience do you have with kid*S*



I have two

----------


## Buster

> I have two



We've been through this. Did you have two small children at the same time?

----------


## killramos

I blame the pop

----------


## 89coupe

> We've been through this. Did you have two small children at the same time?



No, but I have friends who have and managed just fine, social time never changed.

But the guy you replied to RIP, was having just one, so not sure why you make this comment.

----------


## Buster

> No, but I have friends who have and managed just fine, social time never changed.
> 
> But the guy you replied to RIP, was having just one, so not sure why you make this comment.



He said it's his first.

----------


## Misterman

> I think this is bullshit, it’s easy to have a life balance between kids and a social life.



Nope, Buster is actually spot on in this case. Kids are amazing, but goodbye to who you could have been. Social life being probably the least important metric in that regard.

----------


## lasimmon

We will be the 6th baby in our “friend group” in 2023, though second for some. Hoping that will help socialize a bit.. maybe I’m dreaming.

----------


## killramos

> We will be the 6th baby in our “friend group” in 2023, though second for some. Hoping that will help socialize a bit.. maybe I’m dreaming.



If you make the effort to socialize you will. If you don’t, you will never see these people again.

----------


## 89coupe

> Nope, Buster is actually spot on in this case. Kids are amazing, but goodbye to who you could have been. Social life being probably the least important metric in that regard.



Nonsense

- - - Updated - - -




> If you make the effort to socialize you will. If you don’t, you will never see these people again.



Correct, it’s a choice. A lot choose not to, so lame.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Totally agree it's about choices and priorities, to an extent.

----------


## rage2

Got my ass kicked at hockey today by 1 kid this afternoon, and got my laptime beaten by 1/2 sec go karting at speeders by the other. Then all 3 bullied me into a Ruth’s Chris steak dinner. This shit ain’t worth it.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

See!!!
Fatherhood leads to corn-fed beef, nonsense...

----------


## Buster

> Nonsense
> 
> - - - Updated - - -
> 
> 
> 
> Correct, it’s a choice. A lot choose not to, so lame.



If kids aren't altering your priorities you're doing it wrong. Or you have only had one small kid at a time and a house with 1.5 careers rather than two full careers.

----------


## vengie

> Got my ass kicked at hockey today by 1 kid this afternoon, and got my laptime beaten by 1/2 sec go karting at speeders by the other. Then all 3 bullied me into a Ruth’s Chris steak dinner. This shit ain’t worth it.



Be better. 
Give them melatonin before any competitive activity. Expert your alpha ways.

----------


## JustinL

1 kid at a time would be so easy lol! My day starts at 5:00am with my son (18.48 mo), then my daughter gets up around 6:30 (45.6 months old). Then it's insanity until nap time when I get _maybe_ an hour to stuff food in my face and clean up a bit of the mess before round 2 starts. Then it's insanity again until 7:00pm when bed time routine starts. Clean up and lunches isn't done until 8:30 and even then it's half assed. That brief period between 8:30 and 9:45 is the free time, which hopefully doesn't involve any projects that come up. Hopefully I can be asleep by 10:30 and it's a rare night when I'm not woken up by one of the kids before it all starts again then next morning at 5:00.

With 1 little kid, it's not a hardship doing 1-1 so the other parent can get something done, but dumping the other parent into a 2-1 situation is rough. The best thing for us is to get out of the house and do something. That cuts the grind down quite a bit. The other option is to just check out and plop your kids in front of the TV, but we're not there yet.

----------


## 89coupe

> If kids aren't altering your priorities you're doing it wrong. Or you have only had one small kid at a time and a house with 1.5 careers rather than two full careers.



Certain people will always find an excuse.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

My kid can beat up your kid.

----------


## rage2

> Be better. 
> Give them melatonin before any competitive activity. Expert your alpha ways.



You don’t think I tried?



Maybe I’m just getting old.

----------


## Euro_Trash

> If kids aren't altering your priorities you're doing it wrong. Or you have only had one small kid at a time and a house with 1.5 careers rather than two full careers.



0.5 seems generous

----------


## kJUMP

Get a nanny if you can, or try to source some outside help on a regular basis. My girls are young (2 and 5) and there's obviously daily challenges to get them organized and behaving appropriately etc but I find the endless daily house/life chores layered on top to be absolutely soul sucking. This way, there's just more bandwidth available to have fun with them rather then slowly descending into a relentless state of frustration tending to their every single, never ending, backbreaking need. I realize that to have a nanny is a privileged position, but our quality of life has improved so dramatically, that I would advocate for this type of solution to any family if it was a feasible option.

----------


## ExtraSlow

If anyone in your neighborhood has a nanny, see if you can hire them for 1 day per week of laundry and chores to free up your own time. Lots cheaper than full time, but makes a huge difference.
Immigrant type nanny highly preferred for the chores aspect.
We had white canandian nannies, and well, that's a whole different deal.

----------


## haggis88

I think I might be the only twin dad in this thread?

The wife defo wouldn't be able to have a 0.5 career with the 3 under 3, but if it was just the toddler, it would be a cinch  :Smilie:

----------


## suntan

> If anyone in your neighborhood has a nanny, see if you can hire them for 1 day per week of laundry and chores to free up your own time. Lots cheaper than full time, but makes a huge difference.
> Immigrant type nanny highly preferred for the chores aspect.
> We had white canandian nannies, and well, that's a whole different deal.



How many kids did you have with that nanny?

----------


## killramos

> How many kids did you have with that nanny?



The immigrant type?

----------


## ExtraSlow

No you make the nanny have abortions.

----------


## arcticcat522

> 1 kid at a time would be so easy lol! My day starts at 5:00am with my son (18.48 mo), then my daughter gets up around 6:30 (45.6 months old). Then it's insanity until nap time when I get _maybe_ an hour to stuff food in my face and clean up a bit of the mess before round 2 starts. Then it's insanity again until 7:00pm when bed time routine starts. Clean up and lunches isn't done until 8:30 and even then it's half assed. That brief period between 8:30 and 9:45 is the free time, which hopefully doesn't involve any projects that come up. Hopefully I can be asleep by 10:30 and it's a rare night when I'm not woken up by one of the kids before it all starts again then next morning at 5:00.
> 
> With 1 little kid, it's not a hardship doing 1-1 so the other parent can get something done, but dumping the other parent into a 2-1 situation is rough. The best thing for us is to get out of the house and do something. That cuts the grind down quite a bit. The other option is to just check out and plop your kids in front of the TV, but we're not there yet.



Too familiar....wait until the nap gets cut out. I never had it too bad since the kids always wanted/want mommy

----------


## bigbadboss101

Took the kids to Trolls Fall and Kidzgo last week. Now my son has a cough and runny nose. The other day my wife and son had sick stomach. Our daughter said her stomach feels funny.
Since November they have been 'sick' a dozen times between the three of them. Need to strengthen the immune system.

----------


## you&me

> Get a nanny if you can, or try to source some outside help on a regular basis. My girls are young (2 and 5) and there's obviously daily challenges to get them organized and behaving appropriately etc but I find the endless daily house/life chores layered on top to be absolutely soul sucking. This way, there's just more bandwidth available to have fun with them rather then slowly descending into a relentless state of frustration tending to their every single, never ending, backbreaking need. I realize that to have a nanny is a privileged position, but our quality of life has improved so dramatically, that I would advocate for this type of solution to any family if it was a feasible option.






> If anyone in your neighborhood has a nanny, see if you can hire them for 1 day per week of laundry and chores to free up your own time. Lots cheaper than full time, but makes a huge difference.
> Immigrant type nanny highly preferred for the chores aspect.
> We had white canandian nannies, and well, that's a whole different deal.



Agree completely. And not necessarily a nanny, but _anything_ you can do to take the load off some of the household chores makes an immense difference, both in quality of life for you and your wife, but also in the extra time it frees up to spend with your kids, especially while they're young.

----------


## Neil4Speed

I can definitely relate with many of the comments on here, with 1 - 18mo.

A small lifestyle upgrade that has been huge with a kiddo is a garborator. All of the partially eaten food on the plates/floow no longer thrown in the compost etc - just right down the drain.

----------


## ExtraSlow

> I can definitely relate with many of the comments on here, with 1 - 18mo.
> 
> A small lifestyle upgrade that has been huge with a kiddo is a garborator. All of the partially eaten food on the plates/floow no longer thrown in the compost etc - just right down the drain.



Weird, I hated our garburator, and think my life is better now without one.

----------


## Tik-Tok

> Weird, I hated our garburator, and think my life is better now without one.



My lifestyle has not decreased one iota since ditching ours. In fact I would say it's improved (very minusculely thought)

----------


## killramos

> I can definitely relate with many of the comments on here, with 1 - 18mo.
> 
> A small lifestyle upgrade that has been huge with a kiddo is a garborator. All of the partially eaten food on the plates/floow no longer thrown in the compost etc - just right down the drain.



Wait a few months until your kid figures out the parents jump out of their skin when they turn it on.

----------


## XylathaneGTR

> Wait a few months until your kid figures out the parents jump out of their skin when they turn it on.



Wall-mounted switch well out of reach ftw. Our kid will be 7 before she can turn it on.

----------


## bjstare

> Wait a few months until your kid figures out the parents jump out of their skin when they turn it on.



What kind of moron installs a garburator switch within reach of any small child? That’s comically poor placement.

----------


## killramos

> What kind of moron installs a garburator switch within reach of any small child? That’s comically poor placement.



It’s an experience.

We mostly keep it unplugged, but anyone with a garburetor knows they get clogged up like no one’s business eventually and need to be run to clear fairly often.

Wondering if some kind of safety switch can be installed.

----------


## R-Audi

Hit a milestone over the holidays in which we went skiing with both kids and had zero meltdowns and did a decent combination of blue and black runs. Its been a long time coming, but at 8 and 10 we are starting to be able to enjoy activities like this again! (Not that teaching them on the magic carpet wasnt enjoyable, but being able to fully enjoy a day at the hill together on the actual hill) Im sure this could have come earlier if there hadnt been so much hockey, but happy none the less!

----------


## haggis88

> Hit a milestone over the holidays in which we went skiing with both kids and had zero meltdowns and did a decent combination of blue and black runs. Its been a long time coming, but at 8 and 10 we are starting to be able to enjoy activities like this again! (Not that teaching them on the magic carpet wasnt enjoyable, but being able to fully enjoy a day at the hill together on the actual hill) Im sure this could have come earlier if there hadnt been so much hockey, but happy none the less!



I can't wait for this kinda stuff...i mean i love watching the babies and the toddler learn and grow but it's gonna be so good to teach them "big people" stuff

----------


## ExtraSlow

School-age kids who are actually "into" things are pretty fun.

----------


## JfuckinC

well, big changes for kids sure make things different. Recently switched to a big girl bed, ditched the soother and started potty training. our toddler is a fucking monster now  :ROFL!:

----------


## bjstare

> well, big changes for kids sure make things different. Recently switched to a big girl bed, ditched the soother and started potty training. our toddler is a fucking monster now



haha that's a lot to do in a short period of time.

We ditched soother at like ~6mo for both of our kids (well, one kid did it on their own and since it worked out well, we forced the second around the same time). Whenever I see a 3yo with a soother, all I can think about is how much of a fight it's gonna be to take it away.

----------


## ExtraSlow

My kid stuffed the soothers down the heat-vents, the second time they did it, we "couldn't find them" and it was all over. Don't even remember how old they were, it was a real non-event.

----------


## bigbadboss101

Our kids are 4 and 8. I asked them about boxing and soccer but neither are into it. Some forms of gymnastics/climbing would be cool too. For now, only swimming, piano lessons, and pottery.

----------


## XylathaneGTR

> Its an experience.
> 
> We mostly keep it unplugged, but anyone with a garburetor knows they get clogged up like no ones business eventually and need to be run to clear fairly often.
> 
> Wondering if some kind of safety switch can be installed.



Look into a Pico switch. Remote contact switch allowing you to place the on-off control elsewhere, out of reach. If you can install a normal switch, you can install one of these too.

----------


## ExtraSlow

> Our kids are 4 and 8. I asked them about boxing and soccer but neither are into it. Some forms of gymnastics/climbing would be cool too. For now, only swimming, piano lessons, and pottery.



When they are small, try doing some day-trips to places where they can try out the skills. Gymnastics, trampoline places, climbing gyms etc all have all drop in or party rentals. Same with a lot of art places.

----------


## rage2

> When they are small, try doing some day-trips to places where they can try out the skills. Gymnastics, trampoline places, climbing gyms etc all have all drop in or party rentals. Same with a lot of art places.



That was our strategy, let them try absolutely everything to see what sticks. They won't know from asking. The only bad that came out of that is that we have one in baseball and boxing, another in cheer, and 3rd into hockey and art. Our kids schedules are insane.

Things should look up next year as the oldest can get his license.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Well, three kids is part of your issue. 
My kid in wrestling got thier collarbone broken within a couple months of starting out, so done that sport for the year. Wonder if they will want to try again next year......

----------


## JfuckinC

> haha that's a lot to do in a short period of time.
> 
> We ditched soother at like ~6mo for both of our kids (well, one kid did it on their own and since it worked out well, we forced the second around the same time). Whenever I see a 3yo with a soother, all I can think about is how much of a fight it's gonna be to take it away.






> My kid stuffed the soothers down the heat-vents, the second time they did it, we "couldn't find them" and it was all over. Don't even remember how old they were, it was a real non-event.



She chewed a hole in 3 in one night, so we were like k you're done with this shit haha. Doesn't ask for it anymore but definitely fucks around for 10x as long before she will sleep now.

----------


## killramos

My kid is obsessed with the soothers and is way too old for them (2)

But my wife doesnt have the balls to do anything about it the 100 times I have tried to stop so its her problem now.

It doesnt help that my mother in law lets her break all the boundaries we set with them every time she sees her. My mother in law causes a lot of issues actually.

----------


## rage2

> My kid is obsessed with the soothers and is way too old for them.
> 
> But my wife doesn’t have the balls to do anything about it the 100 times I have tried to stop so it’s her problem now.



Stop earlier. We made the mistake of stopping late, and we're in a world of hurt for ortho starting next year for one of our kids. It transitions from soother, to thumb, and you get into a situation where they're subconsciously sucking a thumb in the middle of the night. Then it's fixing the overbite caused by thumb sucking.

Ortho basically told us kids need to stop soothers/thumb sucking by 3 to prevent jaw misalignment or whatever it's called.

----------


## Buster

poke little holes in the soother so it isnt satisfying to suck. then make the hole a bit bigger every day.

----------


## gwill

My youngest are 2 and 3 right now. Both kids rarely used a soother past 6 months. Got the older one transitioned into her bed when she was 1 1/2. A friend said to transition our youngest into her bed when she turned 1 which we thought we should try. Everything went great as the younger one wants to be like her older sister. By the time they were both 1 & 2 they were sharing a room.

Only issue these days are the kids want to get up all the time. Sometimes 4 or 5 times a night they'll wander into our room. Doesn't help it started from them being sick so often but now the oldest almost wakes up at the same times every night.

----------


## ExtraSlow

You are going to trigger my PTSD with talk about kids waking up 5 times a night.

----------


## gwill

> You are going to trigger my PTSD with talk about kids waking up 5 times a night.



it's horrible right now. Originally my 2 yr old slept through the non sense but now she's up and wandering around with the 3 yr old. Will wait for the upcoming pediatrician apt to see if she thinks melatonin can help the older one sleep through the night.

She seems to be a super vivid dreamer and talks alot in her sleep. But now she wakes up just to wake us up. 

One night I opened my bedroom door and she was just standing there. She scared the crap out of me. Reminded me of a scene straight out of a horror movie.

----------


## ExtraSlow

There exists sleep training programs. They are controversial, but simple, and to be honest, they are more about training the parents than anything else.

----------


## DonJuan

Mine sleeps through the night mostly and only wakes up with bad dreams etc. She also talks in her sleep quite a bit. I'm hoping the next one will do the same too.

Bun in the oven, and due in July, just in time for me to not spend any time in the garage.

----------


## bigbadboss101

Our 4 year old son jumps into our bed sometime during the night, 85% of the time. Our soon to be 8 year old daughter jumps into our king size bed 40% of the time. Too nice to send them back I guess.

Right now son had croup and ear infection. My wife is not feeling well today. Cold like symptoms. Our daughter is starting to cough. Not fun when everyone else in the house is sick.

----------


## rage2

I think we passed the tough times with our kids. Youngest just turned 7 and can cook himself breakfast (microwave eggs, reheat bacon, make toast). I had 10 days off this xmas, played video games till 2, and slept in till 10 or 11 every day. Felt fucking good.

I swear, watching that old enough show on Netflix with the kids last year and sending them in stores with their own credit cards taught them how to be independent. The kids buy their own shit now, we set them up with mydoh so they have their own cards, earn their own money thru chores. Of course they're still irresponsible with money and broke till payday buying Pokemon cards and vbucks, but they're learning.

----------


## suntan

Oldest starts driving lessons in a couple of weeks.

----------


## vengie

> I think we passed the tough times with our kids. Youngest just turned 7 and can cook himself breakfast (microwave eggs, reheat bacon, make toast). I had 10 days off this xmas, played video games till 2, and slept in till 10 or 11 every day. Felt fucking good.
> 
> I swear, watching that old enough show on Netflix with the kids last year and sending them in stores with their own credit cards taught them how to be independent. The kids buy their own shit now, we set them up with mydoh so they have their own cards, earn their own money thru chores. Of course they're still irresponsible with money and broke till payday buying Pokemon cards and vbucks, but they're learning.



This sounds like bliss.....

4 more years....  :Frown:

----------


## rage2

> This sounds like bliss.....
> 
> 4 more years....



Don't reset the clock with another one lol.

Was in a group chat talking about my top 3 parenting tips.

1. Don't have 3 kids
2. Stop soother/thumbsucking early
3. Turn on subtitles

----------


## vengie

> Don't reset the clock with another one lol.
> 
> Was in a group chat talking about my top 3 parenting tips.
> 
> 1. Don't have 3 kids
> 2. Stop soother/thumbsucking early
> 3. Turn on subtitles



Lol well technically I do have another one...
Currently 3 years old and 10 months old. 

Sure as shit not having a third.

----------


## suntan

> Don't reset the clock with another one lol.
> 
> Was in a group chat talking about my top 3 parenting tips.
> 
> 1. Don't have 3 kids
> 2. Stop soother/thumbsucking early
> 3. Turn on subtitles

----------


## bjstare

> Don't reset the clock with another one lol.
> 
> Was in a group chat talking about my top 3 parenting tips.
> 
> 1. Don't have 3 kids
> 2. Stop soother/thumbsucking early
> 3. Turn on subtitles



I'm doing all 3 of these. Nice.

----------


## Cagare

> Don't reset the clock with another one lol.
> 
> Was in a group chat talking about my top 3 parenting tips.
> 
> 1. Don't have 3 kids
> 2. Stop soother/thumbsucking early
> 3. Turn on subtitles



Damn, the thumb sucking is by far the worst thing we have with our oldest. Cannot break him of it. We were already told we need to go see an ortho soon. Fortunate that it is the worst of our problems but frustrating all the same.

----------


## Tik-Tok

You guys let your kids have soothers? Worse than soda sippers.

----------


## suntan

> You guys let your kids have soothers? Worse than soda sippers.



First had a soother. We tried a soother for the second. She rejected them immediately.

----------


## vengie

> Damn, the thumb sucking is by far the worst thing we have with our oldest. Cannot break him of it. We were already told we need to go see an ortho soon. Fortunate that it is the worst of our problems but frustrating all the same.



Have you done the bandaid truck? 

Apparently putting bandaids on their thumb deters them from sucking... Apparently

----------


## you&me

> Don't reset the clock with another one lol.
> 
> Was in a group chat talking about my top 3 parenting tips.
> 
> 1. Don't have 3 kids
> 2. Stop soother/thumbsucking early
> 3. Turn on subtitles



2 out of 3?  :dunno:

----------


## haggis88

> Have you done the bandaid truck? 
> 
> Apparently putting bandaids on their thumb deters them from sucking... Apparently



If they're a determined thumb sucker, nothing will work

My parents tried everything, including the nail biting stuff painted on my thumb

Luckily my orthodontic work was courtesy of the NHS, but my parents didn't force me and I didnt follow through with the bottom jaw. It now needs broken and reset to fix properly at great cost (would also have been gratis in UK under 18)

----------


## vengie

As a person with 4 plates and 26 screws holding their jaw together I empathize.

----------


## Cagare

> Have you done the bandaid truck? 
> 
> Apparently putting bandaids on their thumb deters them from sucking... Apparently



We've tried many things with him and no luck. We will be at the ortho next year very likely.

----------


## ExtraSlow

Well don't do the ortho until he stocks sucking the thumb that's for sure. 
The ortho will say the same.

----------


## Ekliptix

First post in here. I have a 18 month old and 3.5yr old. Their Mom and I are separated. 

Sleep tip: My kids and all my nieces and nephews have been on the same sleep plan since birth and I swear by it.
https://takingcarababies.com/ is the course I, and my siblings took and applied. Under 'products' you'll see different age ranges. It worked for both my kids, since birth. Highly recommended, based on my results.

They both recently started daycare. They both lose their minds when I leave (crying). I feel terrible, but I hope they will adjust. It been a few weeks and still crying, but they settle down within 5 min after I'm gone. Paying ~$2k/month total after gov't kickbacks. Thank god the daycare includes breakfast and lunch.

----------


## prae

> They both recently started daycare. They both lose their minds when I leave (crying). I feel terrible, but I hope they will adjust. It been a few weeks and still crying, but they settle down within 5 min after I'm gone.



It'll pass. I think we're on week 4 with our youngest (similar age as yours) and when I dropped her off this AM, she hugged one of the caregivers.

----------


## ExtraSlow

One of my kids cried during daycare drop-off for YEARS, even though she absolutely loved daycare, and the caregivers, and complained on weekends that she preferred to be at daycare than home. Still cried. Whatever, didn't age me prematurely or make me permanently grumpy at all.

----------


## nismodrifter

We are at month 6 of daycare, almost 3 year old boy, he attends every other day, cries every single time. Kills me. "DADA DONT GO TO WORK TODAY". He is fine within 30 seconds of entering his room and getting redirected to an activity. He could chill at home with nanny and play with his large inventory of trucks all day but I don't think I would be encouraging growth then. RIP

----------


## JfuckinC

> One of my kids cried during daycare drop-off for YEARS, even though she absolutely loved daycare, and the caregivers, and complained on weekends that she preferred to be at daycare than home. Still cried. Whatever, didn't age me prematurely or make me permanently grumpy at all.



lol mine does that, some days gets mad when i drop her off, some days doesn't wanna come home.

She's told me i should go to work on a Saturday? haha

----------


## littledan

> One of my kids cried during daycare drop-off for YEARS, even though she absolutely loved daycare, and the caregivers, and complained on weekends that she preferred to be at daycare than home. Still cried. Whatever, didn't age me prematurely or make me permanently grumpy at all.



I always just assumed you were born that way.

----------


## ThePenIsMightier

I have twins, so most of you can eat a fat cock. However, while we made massive effort to not be lazy in those first years, we consciously allowed soothers as the one reprieve...
Both have braces now and I'm grateful it isn't a big financial burden. I think it's about $10k per child and if you're lucky, insurance will pick up $2,500 each. If you're extra lucky, one of you max'd their coverage and then stepped into a new job that reset the clock on the Ortho benefits.

I transferred two car seats from one car to another for a friend the other day and I nearly completely snapped. I have PTSD from those vile things. Fuck. Car. Seats.

----------


## bigbadboss101

Our son has Croup and ear infection. Started end of December. Have antibiotics and took Steroid. Now my wife has a cold or something. Our daughter said she has slight sore throat. Crazy they get sick every 6 weeks or so. End of October they were sick on and off. We take all vitamins and probiotics. Furnace and vents cleaned not long ago. I would joke they don’t eat a complete diet.
Thing is my wife let me know every 2 minutes that she is not well. Man-cold exists in some homes, others it's the woman-cold.

----------


## killramos

being sick sucks.

There aren't a lot of solutions aside from hiding in your basement, and even then that's more of a postponement.

----------


## bjstare

We've been illness free for nearly 2 weeks now and it's been wonderful. Kids are back in preschool/activities next week though; perfect timing to pick something up before we go on vacation Jan 22.

----------


## sabad66

> Damn, the thumb sucking is by far the worst thing we have with our oldest. Cannot break him of it. We were already told we need to go see an ortho soon. Fortunate that it is the worst of our problems but frustrating all the same.



My son was a very heavy thumb sucker. We tried a few things but finally at around age 4.5 we tried this:

https://www.kidshandaid.com/

Worked absolute wonders. Within a month he was good but we kept using this for another 2 months on top just to be 100% sure we broke the habit. 

Its expensive because its custom made to their hand, but worth it. They send you two so that you can alternate and keep them clean.

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## 88CRX

Daycare illness still ongoing here too.... kid was sent home on the 21st with a fever, which both me and the wife got for Christmas (best xmas ever!). First time we've both been sick at the same time with a kid... faaaawk, that is not a good time. 

On a brighter note the kid has learned how to give hugs (assuming from daycare) so when you ask her to give you a hug she waddles over and gives the best hugs.

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## bjstare

> Daycare illness still ongoing here too.... kid was sent home on the 21st with a fever, which both me and the wife got for Christmas (best xmas ever!). First time we've both been sick at the same time with a kid... faaaawk, that is not a good time.



I probably posted about this here already... Just about a year ago, our whole family caught a stomach flu on the same day. My wife and I, and both our kids were throwing up for 2 days straight. Wife and I initially thought we were the only ones that picked it up, since we started puking later in the day and the kids seemed fine when they went to bed... woke up in the morning to both kids having puked in their cribs at some point overnight, then just falling asleep in it til morning  :ROFL!: 

My wife said she'd rather go through another childbirth than do that again.

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## suntan

Classic norovirus.

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## gwill

> Daycare illness still ongoing here too.... kid was sent home on the 21st with a fever, which both me and the wife got for Christmas (best xmas ever!). First time we've both been sick at the same time with a kid... faaaawk, that is not a good time. 
> 
> On a brighter note the kid has learned how to give hugs (assuming from daycare) so when you ask her to give you a hug she waddles over and gives the best hugs.



My wife's been home with our 2 and 3 yr old all week. Fevers stuck around for 4 days. Now it's just a crazy cough and runny noses.

They were both sick for 2 weeks just before Christmas. It's a revolving door of sickness right now for them.

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